There are too many people named Ashley. Everywhere I turn, there's another fucking Ashley, Ashleigh, Ashlee, or some variation thereof. My first wife remarried, a guy named Ashley. I had an assignment recently with a supervisor named Ashley who was married to, you guessed it, a woman named Ashley. I don't know their kids' names, but I hope Ashley and Ashley showed some taste... I come from Charleston, SC, and several times a week my business takes me back and for across the Ashley River, named for Lord Ashley. I grew up with 350 years of Ashley history and lots of landmarks named Ashley this and Ashley that and Ashley theotherthing... I'm starting to get worked up, so I'm going to back away. If anybody named Ashley reads this and would like to change his or her name, please get in touch by PM. I will try to help you. And you Christophers, Christians, Nicoles, and Saras: don't think you dodged the bullet. You're on my radar as well. I think you kids with the aforementioned names should all kill your parents because they have committed the ultimate crime against humanity, which is to be utterly lacking in imagination.