Too Many Friends

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Pene_Negro_Grande, Feb 16, 2005.

  1. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Ok tonight - just started thinking about this...Is there a possibility to have too many friends...I find myself not being able to balance my friends...I mean I know a lot of people...I have over 250 people (guys and girls) in my cell phone saved in this city - and they want to hang out w/me a lot...I mean - I just left 3 different groups of friends tonight and I am really drunk...And I am in the middle of moving - even closer to everyone and I hung out w/one friend, then 4 others, then ended up at a birthday party around 10ish at another bar...I mean I know all the folks at clubs and bars - I never pay to get in clubs or drinks...It weird - I have really been considering moving to a new city soon like LA or even Europe - I know a lot of folks there too - but I am at the point in my life - I am kind of nervous that I will have to start over meeting more friends...I was talking to one of my friends tonight - and he actually bought it to my attention that I am too friendly and that I have no problem talking to anyone...The weird thing is that I was really shy up to 16yrs old and still a little if you can believe it...And the majority of all these 250 folks are plutonic - nothing sexual at all...My problem is that even though I know a lot of folks - they all don't get along and I never choose sides and I am always in the middle which stress me out a little - sometimes guys especially attractive guys are just as catty as women - no offense ladies...That is another thing - I know it is a little shallow - but does anyone else find that they only hang out w/attractive people - majority of my friends happen to be fairly attractive - not that I seek these types out but somehow I get stuck w/these types (LOL)...Sorry for the long post - but I am pretty drunk...I found myself lying lately so I don't go out Monday - Wednesday - I can't do the everyday thing like the past...Just curious about you guys thoughts on the thing...I really need a significant other so I can use that as an excuse...Plus I feel like posting - since no one else is putting anything new up in here...Some of you great folks on here need to start posting...
     
  2. hungthick

    hungthick New Member

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    R u serious? i think it is great to have so many friends. i 'know' a lot of people but 'real' friends that i share many private things with are not more than 10 and i have a hard time juggling these folks. when i decide to return to work again i dont know what i am going to do because then my time will be even shorter. i give you credit if you can keep up---
     
  3. Royal_T

    Royal_T New Member

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    Personally, I can understand the probs with too many friends. Its like theres not enough time to 'maintain' relations with them all they way you want to. These days, I dont have that problem at all :( but Ive realised that there is some optimum amount of friends before you get stretched a little too thin.
    At least as far as close friends goes. Loose friends and aquaintences are a different story I guess.

    Anyway my point (there is one in here somewhere) is that you are in a place most people would envy, but dont feel guilty for wanting some time to yourself. :)
     
  4. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    You know there was a time when I thought I needed to surround myself by a lot of friends...I mean my early teens 13 to 16 - I was pretty sheltered and shy so high school and college - jumped out of my shell a bit...Well I do have 10 people (most really don't live in this city) - my closest friends (best friends) but still I hang out and are pretty good friends w/these other people - I mean I go out w/them every week and we travel together too - I was talking w/one last night and realized - that I go out of town every month - for example I was in S. Florida last month, will be in Vegas this month, and Sobe next month...Don't get me wrong - there are a lot of perks w/having so my friends - save a ton of money on travel, clubs, drinks...My friends range from - doctors, lawyers and da's, djs, club owners, bouncers, business owners, to trust fund kids and everything in the middle...I must admit - it keeps life interesting...I just think I fill guilty sometimes trying to balance them out...My phone is constantly ringing though - like before 8am till like 4am and on the weekends later - but I am a natural insomnaic - I really don't sleep alot...
     
  5. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    pene negro grande,
    My significnat other was like you at one time. He eventually started calling many of thees folks (acquaintances) & sometimes goes for many years between seeing them, i.e. running into them at a club/a store/etc. He just says ,Hi, chats only a few miuntes & moves on, whereas he said at one time when he was younger he would go out & hang out w/ them all night. Now he prefers to spend time w/ closer more select few. He has nothing against those others, jsut that everyone got older, more focused, & buiser in some ways & many began spending more time w/ a significant other/spouse/etc. & then many like my significant other started haivng children. too. Yes, he is one of the 'attractive crowd' is confident,& from what I can tell seems to draw that type. One major reason he drew/draws a crowd is he was an etremely well-known vocalist for about 10 (not all at the same time)rock bands in his hometown, region over the course of 20 years & his family consists of well-known musicians & other high profile figures over the years. Sorry to ramble on, but am also trying to say that having a significant other will somewhat narrow your availability to all your'friends.' sorry for the typos, my son is a musician & I was out very late last night to hear him entertain.
     
  6. SomeGuyOverThere

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    I think it is possible to have too many friends.

    I keep my group of actual friends low, about 6-7 people, and with these people I am comfortable, I will talk to them, I will confide things in them, but I dont shut others out, if I make another friend, I will be their friend untill either we work out that we are compatable enough people for them to get into my "inner circle" or that we are to odifferent for that, but will remain friends.

    I certainly wouldnt be comfortable haveing an inner circle of more than about 10 people - then it isnt cozy friendship anymore, and it is no longer friends, but a sort of tribe, and people become more distanced again because they don't wat so much invlovement with so many people.



    But thats me.

    If you are comfortable with haveing hundereds of friends, then, go for it, if not, work out who are your "real" friends, who can you really trust, who are going to be there, and form an inner circle of true friends, not at the exclusion of everyone else, but certainly so that you know you have people ot rely on.

    EDIT: Hilarious spelling errors
     
  7. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Yeah - your husband definitely sounds like me - except - I am a former model and met tons of folks during working and traveling days...And the crazy thing - a lot of my friends are married now - and I do hang out w/a lot of married couples - very few have kids - but that is one reason that I have been traveling every month lately - bachelor parties and weddings...Funny thing - most of the folks I know who are married do not want to have childeren...And definitely been going through the thing about moving some folks into acquintances - especially since I haven't hung out w/them in awhile - and lately I have been getting pissed if you don't return my call back in a timely manner - especially since I try to do that...Plus I am an ARIES - and something I read is that sign attracts alot of friends but eventually neglects the old ones for new ones - that definitely fits me...
     
  8. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    I totally agree w/you...Funny thing is most of these people have done some or offered to do some incredible things for me - that is my problem...One guy who I am really close with who I met at an afterhours party one night - came up to me and said that normally he is a pretty private person and doesn't really like to meet new people but something about me - he felt that I was a really good person and he wanted to surround himself w/that type of people...It was really touching to me especially when you just meet someone...We don't get to hang very much due to his schedule - he is a student by day and works as a bouncer at night - but he does call me if he hasn't seen me in a week and I just hung out w/him and his girlfriend who I adore too last night...And I have several others who have told me similar things - so even though we don't get to go out all the time - my friends do call me pretty often...So definitely lately I have been sitting down and thinking that - I really like my life right now - I might have everything in my the way I want it - but I have some really good friends who love and support...I personally just went to my home town recently and I had not been to my home town to visit family in 2yrs - not because of family issues but because I guess I feel like my friends fill a family void for me so I am not home sick...I am actually moving this week - and I can't tell you how many friends have offered to help...I am really lucky - just starting to get spread thin...I think most of this is coming from - some friends thinking I am avoiding them or thinking that I like others more than them - not true at all because I tell everyone where I am going and they are more than welcome to meet up w/me - but I guess I have so many friends and not all personalities get along...
     
  9. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    Ya know, you are like the male version of me... period...

    I'm very friendly, and when I go out, I meet so many new people that eventually I know almost everyone at the bar/club where I'm at... I talk to almost everyone, and even this one time, I was at the airport waiting for my plane so I could come here to Fla... the plane was late, and I ended up talking to some guy for 2 hours... about everything...

    On top of that, like you, I have my weak friends (like your friend that's out of control) who I help in any way... like, this one girl calls me every time a guy talks to her so I can give her advice :huh: ... I have my friends who lean on me for their support when they need it, cuz they know I'll be there...

    Another similarity: I had no friends until I was 16... I wouldn't talk to hardly anyone because I was so self conscious about myself... but once I broke out of that shell when I was 16, it was like I turned into a snowball rolling downhill, except that, instead of picking up snow, I pick up people...

    And I totally understand the stress issues... I get so worried about my friends at times and how I can help them that I even leave myself out (kinda wierd, huh?)

    Probably the only difference is that you're older and I've never done modeling...

    Strange how someone can be so similar to me :blink:
     
  10. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    That is funny - more similar than you think because I use to live in Florida...And recently this month on a flight to Ft. Lauderdale - I ended up talking to this guy on the whole flight down - this guy was interesting - he was right out of college and sounded like a 50yr old guy...He was telling me he just got this job up North on the radio...I swear this guy sounded like someones dad or granddad...But I do meet and talk to everyone - funny half the time I don't remember folks and they come up to me and know my name...Just met 2 cool guys tonight who I will be hanging out w/all this weekend...I need to stop...
     
  11. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    pene negro grande,

    I also talk to everyone, in fact, my parents used to always tell me that I would never meet a stranger, so between my significant other & myself we know alot of folks. Like I said we have, esp. him have had to dedicate more time to ourselves, our children, our respective careers, etc. & just do not have as much time available for those who are at this time mere acquaintances, or old friends who we just do not have alot of time for or our goals/emphases in life changed.
    A word of advice, keep some of those old friends & remain friends to them, too, as they know you well, have supported you/ listended to you/worried you through tough & happy times, as I'm sure you have doen the same for them. Don't hesitate to turn your phone off sometimes. YOu will have more quality to give if you take time for yourself once in a while. :)
     
  12. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    hehehe... I was born in Florida and lived here until I was 5... then ended up in Louisiana because of my dad's job... Now I'm back, temporary as it is, but I've always felt at home here, no matter how many people I know...
     
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