Too mellow?

[someotherguy]

After years of being a social hermit and being too shy I'm finally going out and meeting girls. I've hung out with a couple already but both have told me that I'm the most mellow and laidback person they've met. That's weird to me because I don't see it. I'm not bouncing off the walls but I'm also not providing one word answers to their questions. I get them to laugh a lot and keep the conversation going so I'm having trouble seeing where I'm being seen as mellow. Is it maybe just because I'm so used to myself that I can't be objective about my personality and they see something that I can't? Even a few former co-workers told me that I was the calmest person they've met.

Should I try to change this? Do girls like a guy who's calm?

 

[arliss]

After years of being a social hermit and being too shy I'm finally going out and meeting girls. I've hung out with a couple already but both have told me that I'm the most mellow and laidback person they've met. That's weird to me because I don't see it. I'm not bouncing off the walls but I'm also not providing one word answers to their questions. I get them to laugh a lot and keep the conversation going so I'm having trouble seeing where I'm being seen as mellow. Is it maybe just because I'm so used to myself that I can't be objective about my personality and they see something that I can't? Even a few former co-workers told me that I was the calmest person they've met.

Should I try to change this? Do girls like a guy who's calm?

you fail to see where you are being mellow? dude you just self described yourself as being both a social hermit and shy...the information you have provided to me is too little and conflicting and vague..hard to do an analysis of you....beter you should ask those around you..what do they say...you said you do not provide one word answers and you make the girls laugh ...and engage them in good conversation...sounds like you are the life of the party to me...

 

[PaulF]

Hi Someotherguy, No I don't think you should change,why should you! you are your own person. People should take you as you are too mellow or not.From the short bit I have read you seem like a nice guy, maybe all you need to do is go out alittle bit more and meet people and your confidence will grow.

 

[someotherguy]

you fail to see where you are being mellow? dude you just self described yourself as being both a social hermit and shy...the information you have provided to me is too little and conflicting and vague..hard to do an analysis of you....beter you should ask those around you..what do they say...you said you do not provide one word answers and you make the girls laugh ...and engage them in good conversation...sounds like you are the life of the party to me...

I used to be a social hermit and shy. I got over that a while back. Some of that shyness crops up now and then but whenever it does I do my best to overcome it.

 

[arliss]

I used to be a social hermit and shy. I got over that a while back. Some of that shyness crops up now and then but whenever it does I do my best to overcome it.

oh ok good for you..but what i would do is ask those closest to me what they think since they obvioulsy know u much better than the arm chair psychologists that we tend to be on here

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

I'm mellow/laid back too. Don't worry about it. From the way you tell it, I assume it was meant as a compliment. I talk quite slowly and relaxed...and I'm not loud. I like me :biggrin1:

You should like you :wink:

Don't read so much into things. You'll get square eyes.

 

[dolfette]

mellow is good.

mellow is something i look for in a man.

 

[WhiteZombie]

do you smoke a lot of pot? cause i do, and i'm pretty "mellow" myself.

life comes fast man. gotta be able to slow it down and reflect.

 

[darkone]

I'm a mellow person and I have never had issues making friends or finding women. I think it is a good trait to have specially in a stressful situation.

 

[sdg475]

Mellow doesn't mean that you're not being social. If someone calls me mellow I take it as a compliment. They probably mean that you are easy to get along with, and generally happy with out needing a reason to be happy.

 

[ganja4me]

A lot of people say I'm the most mellow, aloof, zen, calm, laid back, easy going etc. person that they know. I think of it as a good thing because people who are all crazy and hyper and shit get annoying sometimes. I have even had someone say that they admire me for it. The only time I'm not like that is when I'm pissed off and people rarely see that. So overall I think it's actually a good thing. And as WhiteZombie said smoking weed does tend to enhance that trait. So if you don't like being that way make sure you're not getting stoned.

 

[someotherguy]

Thanks for all the responses. So I guess I should be proud of being mellow. I thought it was weird that my mood rarely changes, at least on the outside. I don't smoke pot but I do drink socially. I find that I tend to get even more mellow when I do. It's good to know that mellow does necessarily equal boring as I thought it did.