Too old to be a virgin?

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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I know I am going to let society dictate to me. Sure I am, NOT! Look how screwed up society has become. Don't let anybody pressure you RugbyPup. If they aren't nice, they can go get buggered by a stampede of elephants.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I think once you're over a certain age virginity becomes a kind of self fulfilling prophecy for some people - I haven't met anyone therefore I won't and you can prevent yourself from taking opportunities or even seeing them. As Rob said, fake confidence, if you act as if you're confident people perceive you as confident and give you the feedback that a confident person would receive, you start seeing yourself through their eyes and it becomes easier and easier and you become that confident person that the world sees.

Don't hang about waiting for 'the right person', it doesn't have to be the right person just a right person. It's not ok to go to your grave a virgin, basically the meaning of life is to bond with another person and to experience with them everything that we should.

If you're not meeting people then you really have to make an effort, join a club, get out more, you can't meet people sat at home alone. You're not alone in wanting to meet people, we're all social animals and the same people you want to meet also want to meet other people.
 

Principessa

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If I don't lose my virginity before I turn 19, I might panic althought I'm not making an effort to change the fact that I am a virgin really Don't be silly. Losing it sometime in college is a reasonable norm for which to shoot.

Im 5' 7"... 5'8" on a tall day, lol nothing wrong with that. My last great lover was 5'9" 185 lbs., with a 7x5 inch cock. He was 39 had noticeably thinning hair and a bit of a belly. Many women may have over looked him in crowd. He is smart, funny, handsome, has great sparkling green eyes. Granted he was divorced when I met him, but he was also a bit gun shy. My point is I really don't think his physical appearnce is the problem.


I think what njqt said about you simply being afraid of sex is a load of crap and offensive. Don't hold back...tell me how you really feel. :tongue: FWIW I based that post on statements made by various young people on this site who have told me just that in recent months.

During one 72 hour period last winter I had 4 young men between the ages of 23 and 30 approach me in chat hoping we could hookup so I could rid them of their pesky virginity.:eek:

Perhaps my shock is generational. I am afterall 41 and came of age on the tail end of the sexually free and promiscuous 1970's. My mindset and attitude are just different from you kids today. As a frame of reference, the first man I had sex with drove a Trans Am with an 8track player in it. Cell phones were not invented yet, AIDS was commonly called gay cancer :eek:, or was thought to be spread only by Haitians and heroin addicts, and the cool kids had Atari in their dorm rooms.
Speaking as someone who once had a very difficult time finding sex I still have a hard time finding sex.:redface: I always HATED it when I heard from someone else who didn't have this problem and seemingly couldn't possibly understand where I was coming from say that I just wasn't trying, as they assumed that everyone should have as easy a time as they did getting laid. I hear you. I don't have that easy a time getting laid since I raised my standards and stopped settling for the big, pretty, dumb jocks. It doesn't come that easy to some people. On the other hand, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot judging by a lot of the things you are saying here. It sounds like you have a very defeatist attitude. Yes, he does. Like many other men on this site, his attitude not his appearance or height are what are hindering him in this endeavor.

I'm using heterosexual terminology because that's where my experience lies. But I think most of what I said above can apply to same-sex relationships as well.
 

Not_Punny

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Puppy, you are the cutest thing. I've run into your posts in many places and you are always (almost always!) kind and thoughtful. :wink:

There's a saying, do good and you'll do well.

If I were you, I'd focus on doing lots and lots more of the things you like to do, and maybe do some helpful or charitable stuff.

Helping others is a GREAT way to gain self confidence.
 

Rugbypup

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Thank you Hotmilf.

I do actually work with a charity, with disabled kids and have helped and given much to those who only have a short run at this life, more support and fun then i ever had at their age anyways, lol.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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I don't think that's fair njqt466, what if you just haven't met anyone that's right for you?

How exactly could someone be wrong for you? Maybe you have an idealistic view of sex. Really, its a dirty sweaty thing. You should never refuse it. And always play safe.

I will admit some personalities have been mismatched to my own. But 'she' had a fucking awesome body and the best tits ever. I did not think twice about 'hammering it home' so to speak :biggrin1:

There really is no reason to be a virgin after 25. Unless you are overly religious or idealistic with regards to sex. Which IMO isn't the cleverest thing.

My point is: if you want to lose your virginity, you can. It's not hard.
 

Rugbypup

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Part of my point ScaredLittleBoy, as a bloke growing up i would have dearly loved to have had that attitude, but i just didnt, I tried and found it hard to relate to.

Compounded i think in retrospect, but the fact i have always been very thin on the ground when it comes to male friends.

I wouldnt call myself overly religious or idealistic about sex, i just hesistated about it, but i guess ive hesitated so long i think i would actually be quite afraid of female attention and intemacy.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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I had asked about his height because of statements he made about not being tall.

Some people prefer that it have meaning. Not everybody just wants to get their rocks off.

I am 47 years old. I get hit on by both genders on a regular basis. I have reached the point in my life that if it's not for love, I don't want to do it. I prefer quality over quantity.

It's not like I don't know how to masturbate. I've been wanking longer than a lot of you have been alive. hmmm I've been wanking at least 43 years.
 

SomeGuyOverThere

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I don't think there's a cut off point, I hope there isn't as I can't see myself getting anywhere anytime soon.

Like pup I'm painfully shy (and being over 6' doesn't help at all in that).

I've had opportunities to lose it, but that was with complete sluts who went through a few week period of fancying me on their quest to sleep with everyone in my year at school. I didn't take them up on the offer, I was totally unready of sex at that age and totally unable to deal with girls.

I guess it's taken me a long time to be "ok" with the idea of sex. I mean I masturbated, but sex seemed like something very alien and strange and I would have been totally uncomfortable with it. But, now I'm ready, I find myself in the position of not being able to get any.

I think it was pup who said that everyone is looking for a bit of a bastard, and I agree with that. I think deep down people are a lot nastier than they like to think or let on, and i think it's the case with pretty much everyone.

In the end i'm too nice and polite in social interaction to find people. I don't do the "hard sell" stuff that seems to be what nets you the most action. I'm no salesman, I never will be, I just like talking to people and being as polite as possible, but I have no initiative to get anywhere with them.

I tried once. I went and got some coffee with a girl I really really liked, but I was so painfully self-aware and uncomfortable that I could barely strike conversation. Remembering it turns me red with embarressment at how awfully I handled the situation. >.<

Mel, if you're out there, I'm really sorry I made such a fanny of myself.:redface:
 

Not_Punny

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Thank you Hotmilf.

I do actually work with a charity, with disabled kids and have helped and given much to those who only have a short run at this life, more support and fun then i ever had at their age anyways, lol.

I knew it! I knew you were a good kind of person! :wink:

Now, if you'll permit a "mom" to say something here -- spread your wings a little and see if there are any other kinds of helpful or volunteer work where there are more grown ups. I'm not saying to abandon the kids (heaven forbid!), but I know from experience that working with kids provides less opportunity to meet and connect with potential mates.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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I also see how it would be hard to have sex if you're gay since you're in a minority compared to the heterosexuals.

Do you go to gay bars? (hehe, that song...). I thought they were good places?

I don't like going to clubs but the few times I have been I've always met a girl there and 'done stuff' :redface:

I suppose you just wait for it to come to you.
 

Rugbypup

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Im not a fan of clubs. Ive only been to str8 clubs and its always full of pissed up chav wankers wanting to have a pop. It's not an enviroment im comfortable in at all.

As for gay bars... im not actullay 'out' to anyone yet and there a big step and frightening places, usually full of twinks and disco bunny queens.

No for this pup me thinks... but never say never.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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Ok, *sigh* I was hoping to get my three-legged hamster an artificial leg. It misses running in it's wheel. I guess I will have to fly the UK and help you lose your virginity. Also, you'll see that being tall isn't all it's cracked up to be.
 

viking1

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Im not a fan of clubs. Ive only been to str8 clubs and its always full of pissed up chav wankers wanting to have a pop. It's not an enviroment im comfortable in at all.

As for gay bars... im not actullay 'out' to anyone yet and there a big step and frightening places, usually full of twinks and disco bunny queens.

No for this pup me thinks... but never say never.

I don't go to bars or clubs either. I don't drink and don't want to be in that atmosphere. I don't want to get involved in the fights. I've never been drunk in my life, or gone to a bar to drink. I have been in a couple of bars years ago to work on the kitchen equipment. Being around drunks then made me uncomfortable. I was glad to get done and leave. Since I'm not gay I wouldn't go to a gay bar anyway. Please don't take offense, I'm not homophobic. I'm just not interested in that myself.

Part of my point ScaredLittleBoy, as a bloke growing up i would have dearly loved to have had that attitude, but i just didnt, I tried and found it hard to relate to.

Compounded i think in retrospect, but the fact i have always been very thin on the ground when it comes to male friends.

I wouldnt call myself overly religious or idealistic about sex, i just hesistated about it, but i guess ive hesitated so long i think i would actually be quite afraid of female attention and intemacy.

This describes me also. I have always feared STD's, and unwanted pregnancy. I never had any real male or female friends. Mostly just aquaintances, and it's no different now.

I cant deny it, i honestly hope i dont die a virgin.

That would be really sad in the classical sense of the word to me.

Yep, this worrys me too. I always wanted to really care about the woman I have sex with. Maybe that's being to idealistic.

Physical stature and confidence do go hand in hand, like any fact there are exception to the rule. But as for short and shy, that would be a yes, lol.

I don't know about that. I'm 6', 230lbs, and heavily built. I'm very shy and unconfident. I only have confidence to work on machinery. I have none when it comes to social situations. I would like to work out and get back in the shape I was some years back. I don't think my bad back is going to let me. My doctors have already warned me about lifting or doing anything that puts undue pressure on my lower back.

I will tell you something: whatever we don't have, we think brings confidence. If we are short, we think height brings it. If small, being big brings it. If modestly endowed, we think being hung brings it. No, it really doesn't work that way. Sure, I'd like to be better looking, better endowed,
have a better physique, etc. Most guys would. That would not bring the promise of confidence, however. Confidence is a state of mind. I don't know how to gain it. When and if I figure it out, I'll let you know.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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I don't go to bars or clubs either. I don't drink and don't want to be in that atmosphere. I don't want to get involved in the fights. I've never been drunk in my life, or gone to a bar to drink. I have been in a couple of bars years ago to work on the kitchen equipment. Being around drunks then made me uncomfortable. I was glad to get done and leave. Since I'm not gay I wouldn't go to a gay bar anyway. Please don't take offense, I'm not homophobic. I'm just not interested in that myself.



This describes me also. I have always feared STD's, and unwanted pregnancy. I never had any real male or female friends. Mostly just aquaintances, and it's no different now.



Yep, this worrys me too. I always wanted to really care about the woman I have sex with. Maybe that's being to idealistic.



I don't know about that. I'm 6', 230lbs, and heavily built. I'm very shy and unconfident. I only have confidence to work on machinery. I have none when it comes to social situations. I would like to work out and get back in the shape I was some years back. I don't think my bad back is going to let me. My doctors have already warned me about lifting or doing anything that puts undue pressure on my lower back.

I will tell you something: whatever we don't have, we think brings confidence. If we are short, we think height brings it. If small, being big brings it. If modestly endowed, we think being hung brings it. No, it really doesn't work that way. Sure, I'd like to be better looking, better endowed,
have a better physique, etc. Most guys would. That would not bring the promise of confidence, however. Confidence is a state of mind. I don't know how to gain it. When and if I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Very wise viking1.

I cannot lift weights anymore. So, I eat right, and I can walk or ride an exercise bike. Walking helps my back a lot. It helps me stay trim too. I hope things get better for you soon. Is there any kind of organization there that you can join? I mean like garden club, dominoes, billiards or anything else like that? It might help you to become more comfortable in social settings.