Too old to be a virgin?

[Jovial]

I think it might just be something tall, hung men have difficulty in understanding.

Physical stature gives a man an instinctive confidence that need little reinforcement from the world around him. Short, shy and small men have to work easily twice as hard just to find the same level of instinctive confidence.

I am 6'3", 200 pounds and lean, but that didn't help me lose my virginity. It's like anorexia, it doesn't matter what you really look like, it only matters how you perceive yourself. On paper, I could say I have the kind of body that most women like, but I still couldn't believe that they would like me for some reason. So I don't think being tall or hung would solve your problems.

And sometimes I wonder if being taller makes women more defensive or shy, figuring a tall guy will be more confident and aggressive. So being tall and shy sometimes works against you.

Also, after not having a girlfriend by 21 or so, I felt like I needed someone really nice to kind of prove to everyone that it was worth the wait. Because in some ways I was confident and felt like I deserved a nice girlfriend, so I didn't want to finally settle on someone just "average". I was worried what my friends or family would think. I suppose after a while being with no one looks worse than being with somenoe "average" though.

Another factor for me was a lack of sexual male role models as a teenager. My parents weren't divorced, but were not sexual and I didn't really see any couples (relatives, neighbors, etc.) interacting sexually. So I never really learned how men are expected to approach women. Some girls liked me in high school, but I just had no clue what was acceptable and/or proper. Most people take this for granted that it's some sort of instinct, but I think it's a learned behavior. I generally don't regret anything from the past, but I sometimes look back and wish another guy back then would have taken me aside told me what was up and encouraged me.

So I think it takes several special circumstances for someone to become an older virgin.

This was written from a heterosexual view point, but I imagine being gay wouldn't help things. e.g. I doubt you have many gay couple role models around you.

 

[wldhoney]

I think it's really easy to assume that everyone should be able to lose their virginity once it has happened to ourselves. We forget what it was like. I know with me I was very nervous and scared. I was lucky enough to be with someone who understood.

I know that I had girlfriends who had absolutely no problems and found it very easy. Some of it has to do with self confidence, some with how you were raised, and some with how you view sex. There are those who go from partner to partner, and sex is much more casual. To others, it's reserved for relationships. And some people are just extremely shy.

I imagine it only gets harder after time because you build up the act in your mind, and then all kinds of scenarios go thru your head. The other person will realize or make fun, you won't be able to do it, etc.. You think it needs to be like it is in the movies or porn, but it's not necissarily like that.

It might take meeting someone and developing a friendship and trust, and then just having to be up front. I think once that person cares for you, it's not going to matter, and in fact may even make it more special to them.

 

[Not_Punny]

You know, maybe someone ought to start a business. Maybe call it 1-800-DEFLOWR, where understanding, descreet and KIND people introduce virgins (who want to de-virginize) to sex -- and help them build some confidence and skills.

Would anyone here consider calling such a service -- now or in the past?:wink:

 

[Rugbypup]

So many people have spoken openly and at times from the heart and i'm a little overwhelmed. I never told anyone before that im still in my wrapper as it were and now im here with you good people who have shed so much light on what has been one of my oldest secrets.

Cheers to you all...

 

[Mem]

Here's one for you, how old is too old to still be a virgin?

You are never too old to be a virgin. Some people, (Women , mostly I suspect) live their whole lives as virgins. haven't you ever met an old lady who never got married. Do you think she fooled around?. It happend more in the old days but there are still people who will die virgins.

 

[B_andyo]

whats the big thing to get laid... is not that hard ...!

some girls will come to you but the majority you must go to them...


if anyone neeed advice on this let me know.. e.g if you like someone at work and stuff like that.. I will only ask you a few questions just to know what can you do to start a conversation and trust me after i tell you , you will be like.. wtf i know that, is not science is just to say something and not be scared...

ask me... maybe you find a gf.. I have a Phd on flirting i would say..

 

[Not_Punny]

whats the big thing to get laid... is not that hard ...!

Love ya, andyo, but read the whole thread. Not everyone is blessed with a major dollop of self confidence, and not everyone lives in a big city! :wink:

 

[B_andyo]

ohhhh!... small cities are better,,, wink wink.. trust me i know..

plus i dont go to clubs, parties.... just find the (good girls) in normal places malls, shops , gas stations ,at my job...


I dont smoke nor drink .. and I don't dress guetto nor act gansta

but yes.. everyday my confidence goes up a lil lol... cant be harmed though..

sometimes i dont have time for other women, I now have one and another that we call each other once a day to say hi.. and for other things once a week when we ae both available. Make many cry ... which I feel bad about it... such nice girls ...

plus I have never been with loose crazy girls... or at least I dont take them seriously.. .. either way I always respect them... when other guys start talking bad about a women i move on... ooops got nothing to do about the topic but just wanted to say that hehe

 

[Rugbypup]

I should like a BF or best mate with your attitude Andyo... Part of me thinks im in need of that.