Too Soon To Be True

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Pierced1953, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2010
    Messages:
    662
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    naked Tn
    After only three weeks being together almost everyday my gf said she loved me and she was mine if I wanted her.

    We had been drinking wine and by the evening I could tell she was getting high. My friend and I were watching the ball game when she came back into the room and squeezed in between us. She said do you two really want to watch that, then started kissing.

    To make this short we had a threesome. When he left the bedroom she climbed on top on me and kissed me. Then she told me she loved me and we could both make up for loss time, espically sexually. She knows I love sharing. She asked if I enjoyed last night and of course I said yes, I loved it. She smiled and said we can have lots of fun together.

    After breakfast that morning she kissed me and said it again, pulled out her boobs and said these can be your's. I really like her but don't have the words in my mouth to say the big L word, at least not yet.

    Though after hearing that I've been feeling like a new man and my mind won't stop thinking about her. I know I could fall for her.

    I don't know if I'm bragging or wondering how this could happen so soon. Maybe even the wine and feeling relaxed.
     
  2. lpsg_guy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2010
    Messages:
    124
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    9
    Verified:
    Photo
    What is the big L word? Sorry for not knowing :$
     
  3. lineok03

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    1,792
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Norwalk (CA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo


    his feelings to her...may not be 100% true (Love) .... love is a strong word/feeling
     
  4. secondbest69

    secondbest69 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2011
    Messages:
    533
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    393
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    fl
    well time will tell if its the BIG L but a lot of times it really feels like love when we find someone who likes the same things as us in our sex lives.. in a way we feel like this my be the only one we will find like that......
     
  5. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,875
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,789
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    It's tough when one is ready and the other isn't. I have to say that as reserved as I normally am, I've jumped the gun in a relationship. I still feel that hurt, too, even though I'm deeply in love with my husband. I'll never forget the pain of not hearing those words come back to me: "I love you."

    Hindsight is 20-20, and he was a true asshole through and through. But I really thought I loved him and I probably loved who I thought he was.

    The threesome thing gets me though. Guess I'm very selfish with my partner. Oh well, different strokes, literally.
     
  6. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle
    she's trying to bait you, once you say you love her back, shit will change ... keep your poker face up, be good to her, but don't tell her you love her until atleast a year of knowing the girl
     
  7. DV8

    DV8
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,071
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    152
    Gender:
    Male
    I personally believe that it really depends on the person. She may legitimately love him, and there's nothing wrong with that. He may not have those feelings now or ever, but her feelings are her feelings. We like to put a time frame on when it's okay to say it, and maybe that's not right. You feel how you feel. I will say to the original poster that you may want to get to know her a bit more. What I do appreciate is her sexual openness. That's something that I totally agree with, and you'll never get a complaint from me about it. However, I can see where Bjen is coming from. Once you say that back to her, you can never be sure what to expect. I can't say that things will be change, but the next step will be "where do we go from here?" And unless you're trying to get married in the next few months, you might want to back up and truly assess the situation.
     
  8. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2010
    Messages:
    828
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    755
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    It "can" be a big deal. In my openion, only say it if you mean it with every beat of your heart.
     
  9. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I think it's great to play these affectionate games. When she says 'yours' I think she means only in the realm of sexual play. Take it that way and refrain from the L word if that is what feels right to you. It could be misconstrued. Keep using the phrase 'this is fun' instead of "I love this" also. Just a helpful hint on how to keep things lighter.

    I seem to recall you wrote a thread about this sexy lady some time back...or is it a new lady? Back then you were feeling tongue tied out of insecurity. I hope that's well over!
     
  10. mattsrod7

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,633
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    31
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    I think 3 weeks is kind of short...
     
  11. ArtofDesire

    ArtofDesire New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2010
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    2
    I agree 3 weeks is entirely too soon. Yes she may be feeling a strong attraction but somewhere I have read that it takes 18 - 24 months to truly get to know someone and if that's true then I don't think you can know that you truly love someone until you've seen all facets of their personality and have a good feel for what their hopes, dreams and aspirations are for the future as well a strong understanding of what drives that person. You need to know that you truly like them as a person first, sex aside.
     
  12. dad4you

    dad4you Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Messages:
    872
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boise, Idaho
    The other big L word is Limerance.. that glow when you think you are in love, but haven't had to go through any pain and sacrifice that real Love entails. 3 weeks is not enough time to love someone, but limerance can be instant.
     
  13. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2010
    Messages:
    662
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    naked Tn
    Yes that's the same lady. We were both afraid to make an advance. We actually met six months ago. We both had the same experience of being care taker for our ex's and no social life. After our first talk three weeks ago I told her everything about my lifestyle [nudist, bdsm, mild swinging, etc] so I hoping she's just not doing all this just to be in a relationship and not what she really likes.

    Though yesterday she said she does not want to pressure me. She said it wasn't the wine talking and she would love a very sexual relationship, espically enjoying nudity. She admitted that the threesome was probably because she drank too much, though she didn't regret it, just that she would rather be in a committed relationship before she would do things like that as she wants only one man to love. She doesn't want me to think of her as a whore. I don't even think of that word.

    I feel like I do love her but just being careful I guess. I also don't and won't hurt her in anyway. I also know that the sex and her looks have me going. I want my heart not my cock to make the decision.

    Thanks....
     
  14. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Pierced, it sounds like you and she are on the same page about not wanting to rush things but liking where you are. Congratulations.
     
  15. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,372
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest
    don't use "love" until you are sure. some folks don't know what love is, and will actually be in love but not aware of it.


    also, make sure you are in love, and not just in love with the idea of being in love.

    I used to meet up with an engaged gal every other weekend. the third weekend, she told me she loved me. I didn't share that feeling. she pressed me how I felt about her, and I told her I liked her a lot, the sex was great. I didn't like the fact that we were kind of sneaking around, and I asked her if she loved her fiance, and she wouldn't answer.
     
  16. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,462
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,568
    Location:
    United States
    Never take game-playing advice from someone as young and inexperienced as this guy. Not everyone is playing games with you, and when you are, you can smell the phony stink of it a mile off. Do what feel natural to you, when it feels natural to you. No sooner, no later.
     
  17. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    lol, ok let me know how your relationships work out after saying the L word after a few weeks :rolleyes:
     
  18. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,462
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,568
    Location:
    United States
    I married the last one. For us, a few weeks was the right time. Two people together should be able to guage things for themselves without some inexperienced kid who changes his mind about how to feel about women every six posts. Gimmie a break.
     
  19. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    bad day? :confused:
     
  20. Pierced1953

    Pierced1953 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2010
    Messages:
    662
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    naked Tn
    Thanks All,
    I appreciate all the advice. It's nice to have honest comments, when you don't have someone to talk to espically about sexual questions. We agreed that we both found what were looking for and enjoying each other. We spent five hours on the road just talking and laughing along with some playful touching. She admitted that she did have a threesome 30 years ago. She asked me if I wanted to be shared with another woman. I told her that isn't one of my big interests, at my age I'm lucky to handle one and enjoy the mfm or multiple males. She laughed and said, I wonder how many guys I could handle, then just smiled.

    I even told her some of my fantasies and she told me she would like to see a man sucking a cock. Then I told her about this site. She looked through it last night and made little wow's when she saw some big ones. I said we need to post some pics of you and she said you must be kidding, no way.

    So last night when making love I told her how much I love making love to her. So no big L word yet.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted