As I was learning the lingo in the new gay world I had allowed myself to enter, one question seemed to dominate the crowd: 'Are you a Top or a Bottom?'. I asked my only gay friend at the time what that meant. "If you only stick it in, you're a Top. If you take it, a Bottom." "And if you do both?" "Versitile." "And if you don't do either; what is that called?" "Straight!" While it was humorous at the time, it later became not-so-funny as the butt sex seemed to be what every guy I dated or had a fling with wanted. I told everyone of them that I did not want to participate in anal sex. And almost every one said, almost verbatim, said "Well, just so you know, I'm more of a Bottom." Several actually had the gall to say "Oops, it's in there." Looking back, this sickens me. Preacher moment: If someone specifically states that they don't want to do something and you force or coerce them into it; you're an asshole. I digress. The biggest, number one reason, I never wanted to be gay was actually not because of my deeply rooted religious beliefs, but because I never wanted to participate in anal sex. I did not want to "learn to like it". I did not want to put myself at risk (HIV, AIDS, Prolapsed Rectum, etc). I don't have a problem with others who do enjoy it and want it but WHY IS IT SO EXPECTED IN THE GAY COMMUNITY? (Bold, not because I'm yelling but because I finally reached my point) Hi, my name is Jacob and I am a homosexual; but not a sodomite. I joke that my boyfriend and I are both straight. But that is closer to the truth. I am a man who loves another man as a man. It is so hard to find men who don't want the butt sex; so I feel VERY lucky to have found a man who is like me. But my question is; are there more? Hence the poll. And this was me trying not to be long-winded.