Top/bottom

[txquis]

Some of the things I've said here, i've never even said out loud to anyone, but here goes.

Most of us around here do not fall for stereotypes.
But, in life i encounter it often

I enjoy being a top
And yet, i often get cast in the role of the top, due
to my size.
i cant count the number of times
i have heard "WOW,i need
you to fuck me with this"...or "you want to be on the bottom?
with this?what a waste."

a WASTE???? That is really difficult for me.

I have had guys
be disappointed that i am not a "total top",
and
some get turned off
that mine is bigger.
That might not sound nice, but that has been my experience, countless times.

there are many stereotypes about
bottoms, and one of them
is that guys who want to bottom are effeminate (i am not),
or passive in bed (I am DEFINATELY NOT)
or always have smaller dicks (i dont),
or just want huge ones(i dont crave any particular size).And I get so
i dont usually call myself a bottom
because theother person often can
conjur up a picture in
their mind that isnt me.

Or, then they want me to be a TOTAL BOTTOM,
when i still like to top.

I'm sure there are tops out there who also deal with certain expectations and stereotypes as well.
any thoughts from our gay posters out there?
(sorry this was so long)

 

[13788]

View_From_Below: Txqis--
Would you consider amending your posting to inquire also about un-hung guys whose inclination is to top? I wonder what stereotypes or disappointments they run into.

 

[txquis]

Sure, but my last paragraph covers
tops who have certain expectations on them,
and you just said it very well.

I would welcome anyone's thoughts
on not fitting into the gay society's
idea of the "perfect' top OR bottom

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I'm exclusively a top. I don't mind a little exploration of my rosebud with a finger or tongue from time to time, but I don't have any desire to bottom. However, but I don't have any negative stereotypes imbedded in my mind concerning bottoms. I do realise that such stereotypes exist in the minds of many gay men. My boyfriend is a bottom (... gee, that works out well, doesn't it?), but he is masculine, aggressive and hung bigger than me. He feels no need to be dominated, he just enjoys the feeling of a dick up his ass. That's fine with me ... ideal, in fact. Most of the guys I've topped have been much the same except that I'm usually hung bigger than they are, but often not by much. Such encounters are enough to negate any notions of bottoms being effeminate, submissive or under-endowed. I have met a number of bottoms who are size queens, but by no means all. The most offensive question concerning my relationship with Dirk is when someone asks, "Which one of you is the bitch?" It irks me to think that someone would think of Dirk as 'the bitch' simply because he's the bottom in our relationship. We're two men. We're both unquestionably male in bed. That's part of the reason we're together.

 

[txquis]

I appreciate that post,
and i must admit that i am a little
jealous, because i've never had a boyfriend
who felt as you do, DMW.
you are a rarity, in the
gay world as I've experienced it, unfortunately.
You guys are lucky.

 

[Pecker]

Funny that this topic came up just a couple of days after I had much the same thought while watching some gay porn (yeah, even straight guys watch it.)

I never thought of myself as being guilty of stereotyping, but my reaction to the hung guy being the bottom while an average guy bangs the hell out of him, as txqis said, was "What a waste of meat!"

Then I remembered an old joke: The prostitute looks at the tiny organ her john presents to her and asks,

"Just who do you think you're going to make happy with that little thing?"

He answers proudly,

"Me!"

Pecker

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

[quote author=bilbobagginsx link=board=meetgreet;num=1053530303;start=0#5 date=05/21/03 at 11:11:20]watching some gay porn (yeah, even straight guys watch it.)[/quote]

They do? That's news to me!

my reaction to the hung guy being the bottom while an average guy bangs the hell out of him, as txqis said, was "What a waste of meat!"

I assure you it's not wasted in Dirk's case. There are lots of things you can do with a hard cock besides knocking at the back door! Of course, I'm not exactly 'average'.

 

[13788]

brad2002: I get that reaction because I'm a bottom with 8.5X7. Some have said just that: "what a waste." I'm ok with it. Everyone is into something different. I don;t fit most stereotypes, i guess. I am a hung bottom, I'm not feminine, and I'm definitely not passive as a bottom. i do admit to being a size queen, though. The bigger the better as far as I'm concerned. And i can identify with those who say that it's a waste because i understand the disappoint of thinking I've found the jackpot only to discover that HE thinks HE'S found the jackpot! We can't take ourselves too seriously.

 

[13788]

OneHungGun: you are going to find stereo-types everywhere you go, spanning a wide range of topics - so, the best thing to do is ignore them and stay away from people who get wrapped up in stereo-types. I think anyone who has been in love understands that you will do whatever it takes to please your partner, given that you went into the relationship understanding what their boundries are. My partner and I were both technically "tops" going into the relationship, but we dont have roles to play - if someone wants either or, they get it - with no hang ups. GO with what works and leave the dumb ish to the dumb people.

 

[13788]

SchroederJr: [quote author=bilbobagginsx link=board=meetgreet;num=1053530303;start=0#5 date=05/21/03 at 11:11:20](yeah, even straight guys watch it.) [/quote]

lol I was at a party one time and two lesbians and a straight guy had downloaded and were watching some gay porn on the computer. They got a big kick out of it...

And to top it all of, it was at the largest Southern Baptist University in the world.

 

[13788]

Solis24: Well I'm versatile but more of a bottom, maybe just out of experience. I'll admit to being a sizq queen to some degree, having never found a cock too big for me (;
I suppose I also am not that stereotypical bottom, having a thickie myself, not being passive in bed, not seeking a certain degree of domination and not being effeminate. But somehow, I'll usually wind up with a guy who wants to fuck me. Sometimes it's known in advance but many of the times were it was not discussed beforehand, it just turns out that the guy wants to fuck me. I don't mind at all, I'd just glady top a little more often.
And finally, for those times when I specifically sought out a hung guy, in less than 10% of the cases was the guy remotely interested in getting fucked. I'm not one for stereotypes but I just think one should not be surprised when the hung guy is expected to top...
And finally, when it turns out that the hung guy wants to bottom too, well, oh joy! Just LOVE having that big thing to hold on to as I do the guy. And what abot you others? (;

 

[13788]

lksbigone: I, for one, love the super well hung bottoms. I always free that when I have a partner that's too big to satisfy with my oral skills, I know I can get them off with a good screwing.