Top Or Bottom?

Philly swords

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I’m curious how long term relationships work sexually. Do you both take turns being the bottom or is one usually the bottom? I feel silly asking but I’m curious. Thanks
 
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not a silly question at all. the answer is not at all straightforward though. Depends totally on the two people involved. They can be top/bottom, vers/vers, bottom/bottom, top/top, vers/top etc etc so its about what roles they had when they met and how they've developed in their relationship. some guys stay in their respective 'role' they were when they met - thats how it's been for me and my bf. Some guys change roles or experiment. Some relationships open up to others. For some sex declines and it becomes a friendship relationship. For some sex activity increases.

I'd also generalise and say that in a long term relationship as feelings, trust, communication etc develop the intensity of sex, the intimacy, the closeness with each other increases loads and that can be just as fulfilling as how the sex develops.

so thats probably just confused you more lol.
 

Philly swords

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not a silly question at all. the answer is not at all straightforward though. Depends totally on the two people involved. They can be top/bottom, vers/vers, bottom/bottom, top/top, vers/top etc etc so its about what roles they had when they met and how they've developed in their relationship. some guys stay in their respective 'role' they were when they met - thats how it's been for me and my bf. Some guys change roles or experiment. Some relationships open up to others. For some sex declines and it becomes a friendship relationship. For some sex activity increases.

I'd also generalise and say that in a long term relationship as feelings, trust, communication etc develop the intensity of sex, the intimacy, the closeness with each other increases loads and that can be just as fulfilling as how the sex develops.

so thats probably just confused you more lol.
Haha no I get it. I know it’s not a straight forward answer. But I do wonder how a bottom/ bottom or a top/top relationship works
 
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i've got a friend who's in a bottom/bottom relationship and they do just fine, using dildos on each other, being sides, frottage, oral etc and occasionally they will top each other.

but you're right when you're both top or bottom it is a difficult one to navigate, and a relationship will last when the two people work that out and deal with it.
 

Brodie888

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Some also have open sexual relationships or play with others together.

But I'd say if both are strictly top or bottom, they probably wouldn't go far down the relationship path anyway.

The diversity in sexual practices in the gay world is huge but at the same time there is enough crossover that most people can find someone compatible if they look.
 

DilFWB

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Not a silly question a all. It depends upon the guys, the chemistry, and the mood each guy is in I've had two LTRs with guy like me, who were Bi, involved with a woman and on the DL, In the first we were both vers. When we started, making out it was cool, and exciting to try and read the vibe and figure out who would pitch and who would catch that night, And when we flip fucked it was otherworldly hot. In the other, I quickly came to realize that I'm waaaaaaay more bottom than top, and he was happy to do the driving. So, other than the occasional role reversal or annual birthday present fuck, he was in the top bunk and I was in the bottom and neither of us could've been happier.
 

Tvcelebjoe

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When I got together with my boyfriend, I was only top and he was only bottom. But over time I felt like feeling his fat cock in my ass. Meanwhile we are both vers and take turns
Nice. Do you change during position during the fuck, or does someone exclusively top or bottom during the session?
 
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chrisrobin

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Nice. Do you change during position during the fuck, or does someone exclusively top or bottom during the session?
You can but its not satisfactory, once a cock begins to penetrate and slide it to its full depth and starts to fuck the body on the fucker and fuckkee accept that position and need it to continue to climax.
There in nothing I like less than a half fuck.
However, if you do want to share and share about one fucks the other takes and once its done you change position.
Much depends on the participants in a relationship, some want to only fill one role, and as long as its mutual there's nothing wrong in that.
 

Stephenmass

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For me, one being exclusive top or exclusively bottom would get boring quickly. Love going to bed not knowing what to expect....occasionally we all know what we want on the way there, but love just having it go where it goes!
 

chrisrobin

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For me, one being exclusive top or exclusively bottom would get boring quickly. Love going to bed not knowing what to expect....occasionally we all know what we want on the way there, but love just having it go where it goes!
Spot on mate, you want to know your delicious cock is enjoyed orally as well as an anal filling device, Nothing more boring than knowing you gotta be fucked or gotta fuck when the mood might want it the other way round. And I'd be happy to get plugged by you any time.
 

Stephenmass

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Spot on mate, you want to know your delicious cock is enjoyed orally as well as an anal filling device, Nothing more boring than knowing you gotta be fucked or gotta fuck when the mood might want it the other way round. And I'd be happy to get plugged by you any time.


Thanks Chris! Come visit sometime!
 

3HandsfulofDick

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not a silly question at all. the answer is not at all straightforward though. Depends totally on the two people involved. They can be top/bottom, vers/vers, bottom/bottom, top/top, vers/top etc etc so its about what roles they had when they met and how they've developed in their relationship. some guys stay in their respective 'role' they were when they met - thats how it's been for me and my bf. Some guys change roles or experiment. Some relationships open up to others. For some sex declines and it becomes a friendship relationship. For some sex activity increases.

I'd also generalise and say that in a long term relationship as feelings, trust, communication etc develop the intensity of sex, the intimacy, the closeness with each other increases loads and that can be just as fulfilling as how the sex develops.

so thats probably just confused you more lol.

Very good point....I have been in a relationship with another well emdowed top for years (still very best friends and tag team partner today)...Our relationship consisted of tag teaming bottoms...If we didn’t have sex as a tag team, we would have our own bottoms... He would fuck upstairs and me in the basement... We dodnt live together .. I lived over an hour away from him... Can’t tell you how many times I get to his house... walk in his room and find him fucking a bottom... All I do is walk away laughing...Why should I be mad... He ain’t fuckin me...
 

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I used to consider myself mainly a top, but overtime, through 4 relationships, I have moved more towards being a bottom. My first boyfriend was 100% top when we first started dating. So I was more than happy to be a bottom only for him. But after awhile, he started wanting to be more versatile, with both of us topping and bottoming each time. Often, we would keep switching back and forth many times before we would finish. It was something we both enjoyed and were comfortable doing with each other.

My second boyfriend wasn't into anal sex very much. He topped me a few times but he wasn't really into it. I topped him a few times, but he always acted like I was hurting him, so I wasn't enjoying it very much. So we mainly did oral and were happy with that.

The third boyfriend acted like he was 100% top, and I was happy to bottom for him all the time. He was the kinkiest boyfriend. He introduced me to many diffrent things and he always enjoyed using my ass. It wasn't until we broked up that he started wanting to be versatile. So were took turns with each other. I really wished he would have been more versatile when we were a couple, but I enjoyed it while we were still playing with each other.

The fourth boyfriend was also mainly a top when we met. We've been together for almost 11 years now, and it has changed a few times. He is still mainly a top, but I do enjoy topping him occasionally. Both of us just go with the flow and we rarely plan out what we are going to do sexually.
 

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Spot on mate, you want to know your delicious cock is enjoyed orally as well as an anal filling device, Nothing more boring than knowing you gotta be fucked or gotta fuck when the mood might want it the other way round. And I'd be happy to get plugged by you any time.
Thanks Chris!
 

chrisrobin

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I’m curious how long term relationships work sexually. Do you both take turns being the bottom or is one usually the bottom? I feel silly asking but I’m curious. Thanks
In a long term relationship its probably hard to generalise. Speaking from experience in relationships it usually worked out to be based on the the position I found myself. So in one relationship I was bottom 90% of the time but still felt the urge to climb on top and reciprocate., enjoyed by both parties. My longest relationship I was top 99% of the time as he hardily ever wanted to top me, which worked well as we knew where we were and were comfortable with this, and, when I was upended and mounted an unexpected thrill for us both..
Many times though, while on the "free lance" field its been get to bed and find out what's expected, which adds to the sexual fun and adventure.