Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a pussy for a day

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by psidom, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. psidom

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    10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers
    9. Squat pussy over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
    8. See if they could finally do the pink pussy splits
    7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet from pussy
    6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch on steamray webcam
    5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time
    4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
    3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
    2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
    And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a pussy

    1. Finally find that damned G-spot
     
  2. Principessa

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    Uhmm, what are pink pussy splits? :confused:
     
  3. Daisy

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    I didnt get half of that list but ..Um...OK...lol
     
  4. MickeyLee

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    *snicker* you know he wouldn't even get out of bed. :rolleyes:
    a more accurate list.

    10. wakes up, goes to scratch balls, doesn't find balls or cock. panic attack.
    09. panic attack loses battle to morning piss. forgets to sit down, pees down leg. sits on the toilet (the one he left the seat up on) falls in.
    08. takes a shower, gets distracted by pussy. gets hypothermia when the hot water runs out.
    07. attempts to give himself multiple orgasms. realizes he is clueless with the pussy. faces the reality that his women have been pity faking it. curls up and cries for two hours.
    06. breaks new plasma screen tv with a ping pong ball.
    05. second panic attack of the day when he only finds 3 of the ping pong balls. goes to the gyno to remove "missing" ping pong ball.
    04. wish is granted boobs are his. discovers pushup bras are really uncomfortable.
    03. gets his period.
    02. misses the sense of entitlement & social standing his penis gives him. cries.
    01. still has no idea about the g-spot. most women can't find their own.
     
  5. jackingoff10

    jackingoff10 New Member

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    MickeyLee that was fucking hilarious!
     
  6. psidom

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    um...ok.
    it was primarily aimed at men...you already have a vadge.
     
  7. psidom

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    oh come on quit playing around you do it all the time.:tongue:
     
  8. MickeyLee

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    a swedish punk trio from the early 80s. influenced by the lead singers interest in performance art the band was know for their amazing live shows. the electric tripod player had a trick involving a live chicken, ritual chanting and a flame thrower. they were never signed to a major label, the only way to hear their music is finding some of the rare (most famous - flame thrower/live chicken disaster Cleveland 1982) underground recordings passed around by a loyal fan base.
     
  9. Daisy

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    Yeah I am aware I have a vagina, thanks....but I dont get what pussy splits are, or crotch rearranging...

    I agree with Italianstalion I think if most men had a pussy they'd just go around fucking a bunch of guys. I'm a girl and I think it would be awesome to go fuck every guy that appealed to me, but mother nature seems to have built in some kind of annoying control mechanism (morals, conscience) ...darn it.

    PS I am pretty sure Ive never actually found my G spot. (that I know of...)
     
  10. BigDallasDick8x6

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    Isn't the G spot between the F and H spots? How hard could it be??
     
  11. hockeyguy741

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  12. jjsjr

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    oh MickeyLee.... I've missed you so much!!!

    thank you :D
     
  13. Wish-4-8

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    I am assuming you mean a guy having a pussy for a day, not turning into a woman. (there was another thread about what you would do if you could change sexes for a week)

    Bust my own hymen.
    Wear a tampon.
    Make myself squirt/ gush (female ejaculation)
    Answer myself the "Does size matter?" question with dildos.
    Shave.
     
  14. D_Relentless Original

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    Moan about doing the washing up ! ;-0
     
  15. Sassy

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    Psidom and MickeyLee, hilarious!!!!:lmao:
     
  16. EnglishMan

    EnglishMan Well-Known Member

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    Feed it, and hope it doesn't scratch the furniture
     
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