Top that wants to btm.. how?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by pacificfiveoh, Sep 13, 2006.

  1. pacificfiveoh

    pacificfiveoh New Member

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    Ok.. Here it goes!

    In all my past conquests I've always been the Top. My current boyfriend is rather thick, even though he doesn't think so, and I can almost never handle it unless im dead ass drunk. Even then, I feel so uncomfortable and full that I hurry him along to finish.

    I guess the major reasoning for being top is that I love to have control and fuck a hot dude. There's nothing like hearing a guy moan and completely enjoy you fucking them. I get off majorly on it, as im sure lots do. There are times that sometimes I really wanna just be pounded for like.. all day.. ok yeah.. all day, i said it!!

    Here is the problem: IT HURTS! Yes, many people have told me that i'll get used to it and that it will be a couple mins until my ass chills out.. well, it doesnt happen. My past boyfriend wasn't all that hung and was uncut.. for some reason, uncut guys seem to have better luck at topping me, even the hung ones. FYI, we didnt use protection (as this will prolly bug people, sorry in advance - though we were monogamous ).

    So yeah, back to my question.. How? I'm super tight this I already know but is there any possible way to loosen myself up so I can enter the world of being vers?

    Thank you kind sirs
     
  2. D_Ellrington Widelode

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    You look like a good time!! :D

    Well, as a total bottom, I can tell ya, it just takes time. I didn't much enjoy taking it up the ass the first few times I tried it. I was probably about your age (10 years ago) when I finally started to truly enjoy it.

    I'm not sure if I just figured out how to truly relax, or if I finally just had my ass stretched open enough that it was no longer a big fight. I think just learning how to TRULY relax is the key to it all.

    If you have the guy rim you real good...get that tongue in there...and then some fingering, that should get you well on the way to relaxing. Some suggest a muscle relaxant too (never tried it, and well now, I can open up on demand pretty much, no problem..lol)

    There is also the possibility that maybe there's just something about your ass that doesn't like having a dick shoved into it. If you try the whole relaxing thing...maybe even get yourself a dildo to experiment with...and if that still doesn't help, you may want to go see a doctor and have him check out that ass. Who knows maybe you've got an enlarged prostate or something?

    Have you tried different positions??? I've always found doggie to be the most comfortable for me. Seems to always hurt if I'm on my back. Best ever (in my opinion) is you..hands and knees on the bed..right at the edge..so your feet are sticking out in mid-air. The top just walks up between your legs and that's usually about perfect height for him to just slide straight in.

    I think you already know this, but definitely go SLLLLOW at the start. Any sizable dick will HURT if it's just shoved in. And it won't just stop hurting when he pulls out either. Usually best if they can just pop the head in...take a couple seconds...then slowwwly feed the rest of it to ya.

    Well, you being a former top..you know the deal on that.

    Ohhh..and....are you using LOTS of lube??
     
  3. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

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    Douching, getting rimmed, plenty of lube, foreplay, comfortable position -- they all contribute to enjoying the bottom experience.

    But, to be honest, I've always found the most important factor in getting fucked well is mental. Relaxing is key.

    Your experience is telling you that it's going to hurt -- so your sphincter is snapping shut, and your anxiety effectively inspires a self-fulfilling prophecy. No amount of lube and poppers, even the jaws of life, will open that hole.

    Pacific, you have to totally relax. And, I would be delighted to help you.
     
  4. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    You, ME and about 50 other people.:rolleyes:

    They are right, Pacific. From a guy who has had sex with women in the ass, they had to want it. Even when they did, I still had to go slow with them. It is a matter of inch by inch, really slow, letting them get used to a dick buried inside them.

    Good times..... :tongue:
     
  5. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    My first response is simply saying "turn over".:smile:

    Try stretching (dildo use) and relaxing. Alcohol helps too.:tongue:
     
  6. Lex

    Lex
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    Very true. Having trust with the other person (knowing they will not hurt you and will go slowly at first so that you can adjust to the sensations) is important.

    I have found that poppers help me (in addition to all that Hung Muscle said).

    When it is all said and done, you should not be in pain. A good top and/or versatile guy knows how to bring a guy pleasure when he decides to flip.
     
  7. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    But poppers should be used safely, and in a controlled environment. There is alot of danger to Poppers, I have read. Since they relax you, a top can do more damage then they realize. AS a result, poppers may not be the best idea.
     
  8. MattBrick

    MattBrick Member

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    I'm not sure how I got to reading this topic

    1) don't use chemicals to help you get off. They are like sniffing drain-o.

    2) you're right about uncut guys. If your dick is moving around in the foreskin, it doesn't have to move around so much is who you are doing.
    It's got to work the same for a guy or a girl
    Does that make sense?
     
  9. HUNGHUGE11X7

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    You just gotta relax above all else man and use plenty of lube. Just grin and bear it and take it like a man. Being a bottom will make you a much better top. The worst tops I have been with are those that have not bottomed. You have to know how it feels to bottom to understand the way a guy feels when you fuck him.

    The quickest turn off for me is when a guy says he is ALL TOP as if this is the paragon of the macho archetype. I expect a guy to be able to get as good as he can give.
    Tell me you're all top and you're most likely to hear, "ohh so you can give it but can't take it like a man ?"

    Guys I have traded fucks with tell me I am a better top but I think I am just as fukin good as a bottom dammitt lol. I do know I am such a good top because I DO bottom.


    :banana:
    HORSE
     
  10. tygrrr

    tygrrr New Member

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    Like several others have said here, first of all you need to relax. You also need to remember that when you are getting fucked, you are NOT the one in control anymore and you need to be able to surrender to that and to trust your partner in a whole different way. It's a mental thing as much as a physical.
    You should also make sure that there is plenty of foreplay. I don't know what you've tried out or how skilled your partner is as a top - some are better at it than others for sure. But under any circumstance you should ask him to really take his time with his tongue and fingers on your ass first. -- When he has gotten you so horny that you're practically begging him to fuck you, then you're ready :biggrin1:
    I used to be mainly a top myself - though now I enjoy it just as much both ways - I've never hurt anyone as a top, and I've only met a few guys that were too 'eager', rushing it too much, to be able to get inside me. The way I see it, it shouldn't hurt even the first couple of minutes, well - some seconds maybe, but only in a good way. Your ass IS very flexible (in that way it's like every other ass you've fucked yourself) - just go slowly and deliberately, and never ever be in a hurry about any aspect of it.
     
  11. basque9

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    I can relate so perfectly with your situation pacificfiveoh.. so perfectly!
    I was a total top for over 50 years.. really liked it and every guy who saw the monster long/super thick I was packing wanted it in them! Fast forward to a year ago I realized like you that I had longings to get fucked and yes like you get fucked like all day ... there I have said it too. Alas, I was too tight to do so. I began stretching my hole with dildos , butt plugs and objects until I could comfortably take the largest 10 x 8 that might want to mount me! It was not a terribly painful process and has opened a new window of sexual opportunity and pleasure to me!:rolleyes: :cool: :wink: :smile:
     
    Allan S. likes this.
  12. Lex

    Lex
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    Jeff--I said "in addition to..."

    Poppers are not the answer. Poppers help smooth muscle to relax. They do not take away the feelings or sensations incurred from sex.

    I would say that you should never attempt to bottom for someone who does not know what they are doing or who does not know how to gauge his or her penetration.

    When I have used poppers, I have used them with a guy who I am very familair with who is hung and they have helped me (along with foreplay, lube, rimming, fingering) to swap fucks with him.

    Poppers Wikipedia Page
     
  13. ~quicksilver~

    ~quicksilver~ New Member

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    My boyfriend is huge, so much so that it took me a month into our relationship before I even attempted to take it. I had a similar problem to yours in that my asshole was very tight and it always hurt loads! (Don't worry it's a good thing - who wants to fuck a bucket ass?) Here is how I managed to take it:

    1: Try taking a hot, long bath beforehand - the more relaxed your body is the more relaxed your ass will be.

    2: Lots of rimming and fingering beforehand - if your bf works you into a frenzy and your really WANT it, it will hurt less.

    3: Positioning - varies from person to person, I liked being on top and lowering myself slowly down, that was I was completely in control of how fast and far it went in and I still had eye contact with my partner.

    4: Breathe - sounds really obvious, but you'd be surprised how easy it is to forget if you are panicking/in pain. Slow deep breaths out.

    5: Other stimulation - Have your bf play with your cock or nipples and kiss, it will put your mind onto other sensations so you stop concentrating on how much you percieve it will hurt.

    6: Poppers - Yes, they are a chemical, it's controversial. BUT, for a first times with a huge cock they help, once you know that you can do it, it will be easier the next time. Now I rarely need them.

    Now I absolutely love being completely filled and my boyfriend can go to town - though I still have to take it real slow at the start. Take your time, don't rush, trust me it will be worth the wait.

    Hope this helps!
     
  14. Irvy

    Irvy Member

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    I've only done anal with my current boyfriend, and to be honest, I think that it's kinda nice that we learned together, and can remember all those clumsy and funny first few times when neither of us really had a clue what we were doing!

    As you've probably heard from lots of homophobes, the ass actually is an out hole! When it's penetrated from the outside, it immediately goes into spasm. At this point, if you pull out and wait about 30 seconds, the spasm passes, and the sphincter relaxes again. Then, you can reinsert, and things will go a lot smoother.
     
  15. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    No, I know you said " in addition to" Lex. I just wanted to make sure he realized the fact that poppers aren't the best idea... Both sides, Sexy Lexy:biggrin1:
     
  16. pacificfiveoh

    pacificfiveoh New Member

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    Well.. lots of advice. Thanks! Perhaps I shud buy myself some toys or something. Not really excited thinking about it but, a boys gotta do what a boys gotta do right?

    Oh and no, i wont be doing any poppers n stuff like that. I dont like drugs.. they make me nervous. Bad bad bad although, i drink so maybe its time to organize a night out here really soon once i get myself destressed from work.

    My boyfriend is a freakin hot hot bottom and is very good at it.. so when he's doin the top stuff.. he's just the type that just wants to put it in.. ya know? doesnt really foreplay it up any.

    But again. thanks for all the awesome advice.. i surely will put some of it to good.. ummm use. :wink:
     
  17. Irvy

    Irvy Member

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    Well, I'd say it's up to him to put as much effort into being the top as you are putting into being the bottom. To my mind, casual sex is usually about what you can get out of it, or how much you want to impress the other guy. Relationship sex should be far more 2 way, and I think that if both parties are putting more effort into making sure their partner is enjoying it than they are looking out for themselves, then both of you will have a far better time.
     
  18. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    p i was in the oat as you man.i had always topped whenever i messed around with a guy.this past august i was approached by my best friend,and his wife for a threesome.i was like cool.i had not set out to let this guy fuck my ass,but then i was what he hell i trust this guy.all i can say is that your man gives you good forplay.your mind is in another place,and your body is willing for anything.he just can't shove it up in you like that.i was scared shitless,and yeah it did hurt.just for a minute or two.then after we really got into it it felt so damn good.i never thought i would let another dude fuck me,i was always the top.i think it was an control issue for me.after i let go of all that control.i was able to enjy myself.to the point where i was riding him.i never nutted the way i did that night.it skipped his chest an d landed on my headboard.talk about a mess to clean up.
     
  19. amberleafbabe

    amberleafbabe Member

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    sorry guys i meant the same boat got a case of stupidty this morning
     
  20. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Well, here I was all ready with a list of things to try, but really, all the major points have been made. The two things that popped out at me the most as being the keys were:

    and...
    The thing that's relaxed me the most are the somewhat magic words, "Tell me if it starts to hurt, and I'll stop..." or any other phrase that takes the pressure off, like "We'll try it, and if it's too much...", "If you can't, we'll do something else..." etc. If I'm nervous, think it's gonna hurt, am worried about taking it, etc., I tighten right up, but when I know that I can stop it, WITHOUT causing disappointment, I relax. Also, knowing that I can trust the person, instantly relaxes me.
     
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