Top that wants to btm.. how?

F_Man

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but when I know that I can stop it, WITHOUT causing disappointment, I relax. Also, knowing that I can trust the person, instantly relaxes me.[/QUOTE]

The trust bit is pretty important. When you have the feel that things can go this way or that, and there's no rush or guilt, and you can have a laugh at the proceedings and still feel horny, it helps open up! And the long foreplay making it all warm first, and building anticipation...:wink:

FM
 

novice_btm

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Also along the lines of trust... I'm a big safety freak (check out post #22 of http://www.lpsg.org/et-cetera-et-cetera/33539-is-illegal-knowingly-spread-hiv-2.html if you're wondering why), so knowing that someone is as careful as I am, and that I don't have to worry about them trying to sneak in without a rubber, or pulling it off mid-session in the distracted heat of things (you'd be surprised, but yes, people try this), puts me at ease too. No, I don't mess around with people that I suspect of trying these things, but I've gotten a vibe a couple of time, once things were underway, and it was right.
 

BarebackJack

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2 words: Butt plug.

Get yourself a decent sized butt plug... not one too big around as that will just be foolish. Lube it and yourself up real good, then slide it in (it may take some doing, but persevere...). You can even have your BF help you by fingering your hole and helping you relax before SLOWLY working it in you. Once the widest part is in, your sphincter will close down on the narrower part that follows, and you can actually keep it in you, under clothes if need be, for quite some time. You might try putting your butt plug in an hour or so before you plan on getting fucked. That will help stretch your sphincter by keeping it open (though clamped around the base of the thing).

Then when it's time to fuck, your BF can help extract the butt plug. Don't just pull it out, play a bit with removing it. Turn it into a sex game. Once it is out, have your BF lube himself up and enter you. The job should be easier, especially as time goes on, and soon you won't even need the butt plug anymore.

You can also try getting a set of anal beads -- not the little ones (those are for girls and wimps IMHO), but the ones that are about 2 inches in diameter. Have him insert them into you (lubed up, of course), and then slowly pull them back out. I am told the sensation is wonderful, and again, will help open your sphincter to accommodate him.

I know you said you wouldn't do them, but it bears saying: A word on poppers... they have been linked to HIV infections, not because they contain HIV, but because of how they lower the body's immune system response to infection. They are also linked to Kaposi's Sarcoma (KS) which often manifests itself in HIV+Positive people. They are made of carcinogenic chemicals that really aren't good for you or your brain in the long run. If you can get ahold of medical Amyl Nitrate (used for treating heart patients) that is somewhat better. The effects are milder, not so harsh. Over the years, the FDA has had various forms of poppers recalled, insisted they be reformulated and relabeled, etc. They used to be a close relative of the medical Amyl, called Butyl Nitrate, but now, god knows what's in them. And they are a danger to use if you're on any ED medication like Viagra. If you think you need to relax with the help of some kind of chemical, stick with a nice glass or two of wine and let the alcohol do its magic. You'll kill off fewer brain cells as well.

Attached are a few pics of butt plugs and anal balls for you to see. One of the butt plugs has a bulb attached so it can be inflated to help stretch your hole. <wink> I hope they help.

BBJ
 

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ajay38

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tygrrr said:
Like several others have said here, first of all you need to relax. You also need to remember that when you are getting fucked, you are NOT the one in control anymore and you need to be able to surrender to that and to trust your partner in a whole different way. It's a mental thing as much as a physical.

Laddie! Whoever told you that the top was in control? Not in my house!:biggrin1:
 

tygrrr

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ajay38 said:
Laddie! Whoever told you that the top was in control? Not in my house!:biggrin1:

Who was saying anything about being in control of the house? :biggrin1:
Well, yes, there are bottoms and then there are those other bottoms, and then there are even those powerbottoms. All this is covered in the advanced classes. In a situation like this, when it is experienced as painful, you really hafta be a bit pedagogical you see. You need to be able to walk before you can run... - Is this perhaps more about you preferring that this poor enlightenment-seeking guy remains restricted to being a top? :rolleyes:
 

ajay38

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Maybe I should preface my comment with the statement that experienced bottoms are in control.

In my opinion the bottom is and always should be in control. He should dictate the rate and the depth and the speed of any penetration ( at least until he is comfortable and trusts the top). If he says back out the top should back out if he says stop the top should stop. If a top thinks that he can just take control and not listen to the bottom then the bottom isn't in control and the experience is not a good one. There are those bottoms who prefer for a top to "take" their ass...I sometimes like that myself, but not until I know and trust that top! I've run into plenty of tops who think that they don't have to listen to the bottom, and I think that most good tops will tell you that they can read a bottoms subtle signals (or not so subtle signals) If I say fuck me hard and I grab my tops ass and pull him to me hard that is control. If I squeeze his dick hard with my ass and tell him deeper then I am in control. All this is to say that most bottoms would grin and tell a top he's in control....in reality the opposite is true. IMHO this really is a shared power situation.....
 

rockrod

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Thanx for this topic.

I am at the same stage in life and want to try be a Bottom. Always topped till now, because i thought it would hurt like hell, but deffently gone try it with all the tips i got here. Good thing i am on LPSG for all the advice on sex.

Thanx a lot.

Rockrod
 

B_Hung Muscle

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HUNGHUGE11X7 said:
Being a bottom will make you a much better top. You have to know how it feels to bottom to understand the way a guy feels when you fuck him.

I am such a good top because I DO bottom.


:banana:
HORSE

Definitely true. I don't think I really understood how to fuck well until I was on the receiving end. I appreciated much more how to please the bottom -- and that, in turn, turned me on even more as a top.

Horse, any time you'd like to try out those bottoming (or topping) skills with me, lemme know...
 

Lex

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ajay38 said:
Maybe I should preface my comment with the statement that experienced bottoms are in control.

In my opinion the bottom is and always should be in control. He should dictate the rate and the depth and the speed of any penetration ( at least until he is comfortable and trusts the top). If he says back out the top should back out if he says stop the top should stop. If a top thinks that he can just take control and not listen to the bottom then the bottom isn't in control and the experience is not a good one. There are those bottoms who prefer for a top to "take" their ass...I sometimes like that myself, but not until I know and trust that top! I've run into plenty of tops who think that they don't have to listen to the bottom, and I think that most good tops will tell you that they can read a bottoms subtle signals (or not so subtle signals) If I say fuck me hard and I grab my tops ass and pull him to me hard that is control. If I squeeze his dick hard with my ass and tell him deeper then I am in control. All this is to say that most bottoms would grin and tell a top he's in control....in reality the opposite is true. IMHO this really is a shared power situation.....


Well said.

and WOOF!
 

Hungrey

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just have your bf take his time - take his time - slowly does it and loads of lube with lots of foreplay. Can assure you that guys I have had always say it hurts but always also say that it is worth it. Suppose with 9 x 6 it has got to hurt but just take it easy.....
 

ozladbulgakov

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A bit of advice from my experience - for me a lot of the discomfort of bottoming comes from the irritation to the skin on the sphincter - best solution, regularly mosturise with shea butter or the like. I find it makes all the difference - no burning sensation that lots of btms talk about...