Top Wanting to Bottom but CANT! :(

latinkid22204

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Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years and throughout our entire relationship, I've been the top...mainly b/c of preference but partially by default. We've tried me being the bottom and it's really like a brick wall down there...no seriously, it is. In the beginning of our relationship, I tried to bottom only to please him but realized I wasn't into it and was way too tense. However, lately I've truly craved bottoming and was really into it but again he wasn't able to penetrate. He's a bit smaller than I, about 7.5" and girthy so it makes me feel completely inadequate that I can't give him that satisfaction :frown1:...especially when he's there, super excited, ready to go at. We try and try and try some more but he eventually says fuck it (literally :tongue:) and gets on his back for me to top him.

Luckily, he's learned to LOVE LOVE LOVE bottoming so our sex life hasn't suffered. In fact, it's great! However, the longer we date, the more guilty I feel for not being able to bottom for him. Aside from wanting to please him I also really want it. We've tried tons of lube, toys, and different positions. We have an 8" vibrator that's a little thicker than the girth of a broomstick but it took tons of work.

Oh, and something I didn't really mention was that his girth is kinda "pudgy" if that makes sense. When erect, his dick is rock hard but the thin skin around his dick is soft and stretchy, so maybe that has something to do with it?

Are we doing something wrong? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

-Anthony
 

dad4you

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first. realize that this may be a long process for the 2 of you. YOU have to get used to something going in and NOT hurting and learn to relax. Start with something really small, even the size of a pencil, literally. SMALL. work up to something bigger , no more than maybe 1/8th of an inch at a time until you are comfortable with that. Eventually your brain and ass will realize it is ok. I think it may take a LONG time, but stick with it. We all weren't born to bottom ( l started inserting things umm many years ago ;-)> ). I can take an 8 x 5.5 comfortably. Not that it happens often of course.
And Yes, lots of lube, try different ones there too. You may like one better than another. Since you won't be fucking, you can use an oil based one like Crisco or butter.
 
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KuronoB

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first. realize that this may be a long process for the 2 of you. YOU have to get used to something going in and NOT hurting and learn to relax.

This is it in a nutshell. I recommend that you try using your own fingers by yourself first, so you can control the pace and pressure used with no surprises. You have to learn how to relax; forcing something in back there won't work.

Quick tip: Google up anal and/or tantric massage and try to use some of those techniques. Example: Erotic Anal Massage From Bollywood and India To You Videos - Mofosex.com
 

MarkLondon

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The majority of bottoms really enjoy getting fucked and I don't believe they all took years of practise to get there. I think it comes naturally to some and not to others.
 

way2kinky

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you need gradual progression, i started with the opposing end of a toothbrush, moved to something a bit thicker, and then a bit more again, and so on. A lot of people would also reccomend keeping a butt plug in for extended period of time before sex. It takes a while, but you will get there and it will be amazing