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Topping bareback

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by josh91, Aug 21, 2011.

  1. josh91

    josh91 Lurker

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    Hey guys, I hate that this is my first post here, but I'm kinda worried. I am a 20 year old university student and have a hard time meeting guys on campus, so I hookup online. There is this grad student at my school that I've been talking to quite a bit and we decided to finally fuck. I knew that he was HIV positive (he claims his viral load is undetectable and he's on drug therapy) and he made it clear that he would only top me with a condom, but I could top him without one. When we met up we decided that I would fuck him so I slid on a condom and went to work. After a while I got bored (I can't feel much through a condom) so I pulled out, ripped off the condom, and started fucking him bareback. When I got close to having an orgasm I asked him what he wanted me to do, he said he wanted me to cum in him, so I did.

    I know it was very, very stupid of me to risk my health like this, but I was horny and was only thinking in the moment. Earlier that evening I had trimmed and shaved around by cock, and nicked myself in a few places. Now I am sort of worried that I could have contracted HIV.

    Does anyone have any advice? Anything to calm my fears?

    ~Josh
     
  2. surferboy

    surferboy Sexy Member

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    the transmission rate is lower, but in all honesty, i would never take that chance. honestly, it amazes me that, in this day and age of information, people would still put themselves at risk like this. i work in a pharmacy with a lot of hiv+/aids patients.

    this may be harsh, but what the fuck is wrong with you?
     
  3. 430129

    430129 Guest

    GET TESTED A-SAP!...dude, you should of known better. I hope and pray that you didnt contracted the virus.
     
  4. Bbucko

    Bbucko Expert Member

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    Your trim didn't affect your risk, but foregoing using a condom sure did.

    On the plus side, it's much more difficult for tops to become infected, though it happens, obviously. The other factor is that studies seem to be confirming that an undetectable viral load makes passing the virus almost impossible, though that's only applicable if he was telling the truth. Seeing as he was so upfront about his status, the chances that he was telling the truth seem greater.

    None of this means that your encounter was risk-free. You should get tested at 13 weeks post-exposure, though a test at six weeks is an excellent indicator.

    Good luck.
     
  5. jusright

    jusright Legendary Member

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    No it wasn't clever to take it off but it's done.Go and get some advice from a sexual health clinic. what little I know is that it's statistically riskier if yr on the passive end but u can still get it if yr giving it. Usually u need to be regularly exposed to contract it. But some do pick it up from one offs.
    Bear in mind it can take up to 3 months b4 it shows in yr system so depending on when this happened taking a test may not be the right thing to do. Hope this helps. :)
     
  6. whoknowes

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    How sad... clearly thinking with the wrong head..... :-(
    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think things you KNOWINGLY know could endanger your life through in the future.
     
  7. rob_just_rob

    rob_just_rob Sexy Member

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    Ugh. I know how you feel. You get caught up in the heat of the moment, wind up having unprotected sex with someone you shouldn't (i.e. anyone you aren't in a committed relationship with), and then panic afterwards.

    I was fortunate enough not to knock up any of the randoms who insisted that they loved "bare sex" and were on the pill - let alone catch anything from them. And none of them had admitted to me that they were HIV+, something that would have stopped me in my tracks.

    Get tested in 13 weeks, and hopefully this experience will instil some common sense into you for future encounters.
     
  8. CobraLover

    CobraLover Sexy Member

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    I know one guy that never wears a condom when he tops - even when he fucks poz guys, and he is still negative, but it's not worth the risk. With poz guys, oral is the way to go.
     
  9. bimetaldude

    bimetaldude Sexy Member

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    that does not sound good. i have never done anal but swallowed a lot of loads from 95-2004 and had a lot of once encounters with women in the 80s and 90s. i tested myself first time in 2004 and was petrified. it was negative. been tested 10 times in total since then. i would bareback - i am considered a bottom. if i knew my partner was negative.
     
  10. yhtang

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    What is done is done. As many others had said, please have yourself tested. It takes a while for the test results to come out, and it also takes some time for the virus to show, if you happen to be unlucky enough to catch it.

    In the meantime and until you know you are clear, you may wish to take extra precautions with other sex partners who may come your way.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  11. avengoid1

    avengoid1 Experimental Member

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    Like people have said, it takes a while for the virus to reach detectable levels, and this time varies from person to person. There are a lot of suggestions here to get tested after 13 weeks. I believe the virus can be dectected as soon as 6 weeks after. Best thing to do is go to a clinic, explain your situation, and do what they say.

    And wear condoms.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  12. MarkLondon

    MarkLondon Sexy Member

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    PEP! Post-Exposure Prophylaxis.

    I don't know how it works in the USA but in the UK you'd go to a sexual health clinic or the Accident and Emergency department of a hospital. They prick your finger for a drop of blood which is tested for HIV antibodies, result within one hour. If the result is negative (i.e. you weren't already unknowingly infected) a one-month course of anti-retroviral drugs is prescribed and you start taking them immediately.

    PEP needs to be commenced as early as possible after potential exposure and is likely to be inefective after a delay of 72 hours (three days). You will need to rigidly adhere to the drug regime and will probably be prescribed anti-nausea and anti-diarrhoea medication to deal with it's side-effects.

    You will be tested again at the end of the treatment, at three months after exposure and finally at six months (PEP can delay the production of antibodies when it has not been effective). You must regard yourself as potentially positive until a negative six month test and observe safer-sex precautions with all your partners until then.

    Don't stop to think about it, get straight to a clinic or hospital now. Time is of the essence. Health professionals will assess whether PEP is appropriate in your case.
     
  13. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny Banned

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    ^ I agree. MY cousin did this - unknowingly topped a + guy and found out after it was over. He went to the emergency room immediately and they did this PEP test which goes down to your very DNA for immediate results. He was negative and continues to be negative. Yes, it's less risky to be a top but shit happens. I was out the other day at a local park where, in a secluded area, men lay out naked and sometimes hook up. I was laying there eyes closed when I guy came up and started talking to me. He was a thin older guy with a missing front tooth. He came over and started stroking me which I allowed. He then started kissing/licking the head of my cock (I have a PA so it's an attraction) but he never went completely down on me. He did however try to sit on top of me without a condom. His ass was already lubed. But I pushed him away and said no thanks. He just walked off.

    Now I have a soar throat and wondering if it is just allergies (grass and pollen kill me) or the blowjob. A friend said however that anything from the BJ takes more than a day to show up - usually 5 days to a week.
     
  14. psguy64

    psguy64 Expert Member

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    Excellent advice based upon experience. Altho I do not bb with anyone unless
    in a long term mono relationship, I consider myself a bottom.
     
  15. D_Phil_R_Upp

    D_Phil_R_Upp Banned

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    I was part of a long-running university HIV study and the rates for a guy who is topping to be infected with HIV are very low. They had data from 20+ years and 10K+ participants and the infection rate was less than one quarter of one percent.

    Having said that, it's just not wise to do, especially if the guy is poz. Even if you avoid HIV there are a host of other STD's.

    Take a deep breath and learn from this. No orgasm is worth this kind of worry.
     
  16. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous Banned

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    all of thiese. Get tested NOW, get PEP, get retested at six weeks, 13 weeks, 6 months and one year.

    Hopefully you are still neg, and remember this fear for the next time you decide to let the little head do the thinking. Also check into different styles of condoms. There are some that are amazingly non sensation reducing.

    And though I did find the WTF q from surferboy to be a tad harsh, I also thought it immediately. Just follow the advic given.

    Hope you are ok.
     
  17. josh91

    josh91 Lurker

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    Thanks for all the comments. This happened 4.5 days ago so I guess I've missed the period for PEP. The health center at my university is closed over the weekend during the summer, so this morning would have been the first time I could get in :/. I guess I'm less concerned now that I know the risk was very, very low.

    On another note, the HIV rapid testing program that I normally go to every 5-6 weeks is run through the local health department. They use 10 minute rapid tests from finger pricks and say that they are accurate 30 days post exposure. There's a huge difference between 30 days and the 13 weeks that is referenced in this thread...
     
  18. blakobra8

    blakobra8 Experimental Member

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    this is the most retarded thing ive ever heard
     
  19. Bbucko

    Bbucko Expert Member

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    Unless it's been changed very recently, the 13 week potential incubation period comes from the CDC, and it's known to be extremely conservative. When I was a contributing member of AIDSmeds/POZ, I was one of about five members deemed qualified to counsel people in their Am I Infected? forum, where we discussed risk scenarios precisely like this. The response I posted earlier is essentially identical to what I'd have posted there.

    It's worth noting that throughout the EU and the state of Massachusetts six weeks is sufficient for the overwhelming majority of cases and is considered definitive. Thirty days is news to me, but I am slightly out of the loop since discontinuing my membership at Am/POZ about two years ago, so it's possible that the tests have been improved.

    Personally I'd expect that you'll get a negative result, but you have my deepest consideration and empathy should you wind up otherwise: good luck.
     
  20. southeastone

    southeastone Admired Member

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    Having lost two good friends to aids back in the days when we did not know I find it amazing that we are still reading this kind of stupidity today....my biggest worry is not for the poster who obviously does not care for his own health but for any future partners he has who are unaware of his sexual history. Sorry but this is my opinion and I think both he and the guy who allowed him to bb him need to be ashamed of themselves.

    They should both be made to work in the clinics of old with people dying as a result of the actions of their dicks.
     
  21. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous Banned

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    Ok here is a link to the CDC about window periods, standard vs rapid antibody tests and RNA tests.

    I should point out that, unless you misheard or misunderstood, your clinic was lax in implying that it is ALWAYS accurate within 30 days. Most have a detectable antibody level, but most is not the same as all.

    Follow the advice given in the link (amazing how it relfects what we all have been saying...sometimes we old folk DO know what we are talking about:wink:)
     
  22. TomCat84

    TomCat84 Expert Member

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    Good lord folks. Does he need to get tested? Yes. Does he need to panic? NO. I have been HIV+ since July 2005. I've been undetectable since March/April of 2006, and am on anti retro viral meds. My bf and I have been dating since Feb of last year. He tops me, BARE, and he's neg...STILL. Do we take special precautions? Yes. If I know he has a cut on his dick, or my hole is irritated from too much wiping, then we don't fuck. BBucko is correct- IF the dude was telling the truth about being undetectable (which seems fairly likely since he was upfront about his HIV status in the first place), then it would be near impossible to contract it from topping him, provided that plenty of lube was used so as not to unnecessarily tear any tissue. He should get tested on a regular basis, but from the information provided, he has nothing to panic about. It amazes me how many people cannot handle being rational persons when confronted with HIV+ people.
     
  23. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous Banned

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    I am being very rational tomcat. If i wasn't I suspect Uncle Bb to have handed my ass to me by now. I am sure his chances are negligible. However he exhibited poor judgement in barebacking, especially if he is going to panic afterwards.

    Your partner knows the risks (minimal, but present) and chooses to do so. Bully for him. Many of us would not bareback even in a top position those who are pos (though we may decide to play with condoms with poz people). This young man was NOT going to bareback, but got irritated at the lack of sensation, proceeded to bareback (even knowing, and worrying, however validly, about his cuts), and then afterwards decides to freak and to then come panicking to us.

    I know I have tried to be helpful and kind. But kind does not mean handlle with kid gloves.

    Funny...you probably have me on ignore still, so i doubt you will even see this.

    If i am wrong I am sure Bb will correct me. I will be sending him a private message with my post so he can decide if I, at least, was not being a "rational person when confronted with HIV+ people."

    I will also send a PM to BB2.5 and see what he has to say on this subject.
     
  24. TomCat84

    TomCat84 Expert Member

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    I was not referring to you. If you weren't telling the guy to hit the Panic button, then I wasn't referring to you. You take a risk of being struck by lightning when you go outside every day, too.
     
  25. B_Nicodemous

    B_Nicodemous Banned

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    Agreed. That's why i was not sugessting he panic, but do what the cdc recommends. I tend to face things like this with cold logic. The only emotion was the "WTF were you thinking." Again if he had made an informed decision (one not made in 5 minutes while balls deep in someone) then I wouldn't have added that part. Your guy made a decision that feels right to him. He knows the risk are there (negligible but there) and is topping you bare. Others might not (the risk to them are not worth it), though those who choose option two are not necessarily hitting the panic button (though some admittedly do).

    I did felt compelled to answer you on the off chance I was no longer on ignore, as I truly did not want any misunderstanding between us.
     
    #25 B_Nicodemous, Aug 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2011
  26. mthomson2020

    mthomson2020 Cherished Member

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    if his load is truly undetectable (you dont really know this), your risk is relatively low.

    but please get tested and dont be stupid again.
     
  27. BBB2.5

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    Hey....I have been asked my opionion on this subject. Not that I am a doctor, but I have been HIV+ since 1992. Let me start out by saying I will not get into heated battles over who is right and who is wrong.



    I selected this part of your quote, because to me it is the most disturbing of all your comments. Why are you going and getting tested every 5-6 weeks? That tells me that you engage unsafe sexual behavior most of the time. I'm sure the only reason you used a condom this time was because you knew his status. Even knowing this you chose to play unsafe during your play time. This worries me, because you know you are taking a risk with your health. Which is why you are getting tested so much. Wake up, before it's to late.
     
  28. MarkLondon

    MarkLondon Sexy Member

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    Yes, I was going to raise this point too.

    What is the logic behind this behaviour? You're going to carry on with unsafe sex until you become hiv+ and then start treatment early? And will you change your practices then?
     
  29. tlbuncut5

    tlbuncut5 Cherished Member

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    NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Bareback
     
  30. dude_007

    dude_007 Sexy Member

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    HIV is not an easy virus to become infected by. I would worry more about HPV or the Hep family from bareback topping.

    Learn from this. Like someone else said, the moment of lust is not worth the worry. Always play safe
     
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