topping with a condom = boring?

sfu

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So I haven't had ton of sex, topped maybe a dozen times. The first two times I did it bare (I know, knew and trusted the guy but still bad), but every time after that I've been safe. Last week I had sex again for the first time in almost a year. The guy was pretty hot, we were pretty into each other. He asked me if I liked his tight and warm hole. Honestly I wanted to say...didn't really feel much. I'm 7.5x5.5 so it's not like I'm a pencil fucking a donut, but the sensations themselves didn't feel that intense, it was more the actions that got me excited more than anything. I do remember feeling A LOT more the couple times I did it without a condom. How do you guys cope? There's no way I'd ever consider topping without a condom anymore unless I'm in a very serious relationship which is probably not happening anytime soon. I really want to enjoy sex more but I'm kinda just meh about it.
 

Infernal

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Of course it feels better bare, but you have to make your own choice on this one. For me it is a necessary evil because HIV (and anything else) just isn't in my long term plans. Maybe you need a little more mental stimulation to get things going.
 

thickcockjames

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Little different perspective. I'm not gay, but I understand.

I considered myself "professionally single" and I've been with women mostly bare back. Without getting into specifics it was a calculated risk I ended up taking, and thankfully I came out clean. I ended up dating a woman for about 9 months, we both were tested and she was on birth control so we decided bare back was the way to go because it felt better for both of us.

But recently I've learned I shouldn't push the envelope so much. So I've been wearing a condom all the time.

Now, I'm dating a new girl. She's wonderful, but we aren't at the point of bare backing yet. So back to the rubbers. Here's a few things I've been doing to make the sex better.

1-NO masturbating. Admittedly, when I was single I'd jerk off at least once a day. Usually twice. In the morning, and before bed.

2-Mental exercises. I'll take a few minutes in the shower, and just mentally work up an erection. It wasn't easy at first.

I basically decided that I had pretty much jerked myself off into sensory overload and my body had been trained the porn and my hand is what I needed in order to have a big strong erection and an enjoyable experience, and unless I was fucking an a woman who was absolutely bad shit crazy in bed I wasn't very turned on. So depriving myself of these things REALLY helped.

I've been having sex with my new lady for a few months now, and even though I'm using a condom all the time its still amazing. I think the fact she's absolutely stunning helps as well, but being able to feel her through the condom is amazing as well. My dick is more sensitive now and I can enjoy myself a lot more.
 

sfu

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Little different perspective. I'm not gay, but I understand.

I considered myself "professionally single" and I've been with women mostly bare back. Without getting into specifics it was a calculated risk I ended up taking, and thankfully I came out clean. I ended up dating a woman for about 9 months, we both were tested and she was on birth control so we decided bare back was the way to go because it felt better for both of us.

But recently I've learned I shouldn't push the envelope so much. So I've been wearing a condom all the time.

Now, I'm dating a new girl. She's wonderful, but we aren't at the point of bare backing yet. So back to the rubbers. Here's a few things I've been doing to make the sex better.

1-NO masturbating. Admittedly, when I was single I'd jerk off at least once a day. Usually twice. In the morning, and before bed.

2-Mental exercises. I'll take a few minutes in the shower, and just mentally work up an erection. It wasn't easy at first.

I basically decided that I had pretty much jerked myself off into sensory overload and my body had been trained the porn and my hand is what I needed in order to have a big strong erection and an enjoyable experience, and unless I was fucking an a woman who was absolutely bad shit crazy in bed I wasn't very turned on. So depriving myself of these things REALLY helped.

I've been having sex with my new lady for a few months now, and even though I'm using a condom all the time its still amazing. I think the fact she's absolutely stunning helps as well, but being able to feel her through the condom is amazing as well. My dick is more sensitive now and I can enjoy myself a lot more.

Thank you for this response. Such a great idea! At this point I'm not having enough sex to give up masturbating but it's definitely something to consider when I am having more. Just wish we could live in a world where STDs weren't such a big deal! I can see why so many people choose not to use condoms but the potential consequences are so not worth it.
 
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I hate topping with a condom so much that I'd rather just bottom. Unfortunately, most guys want me to top, so I just suck it up and enjoy it as best I can.
 

B_ILIW

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hmmm.. is a definite opportunity cost, and condoms take away a lot of pleasure, but until scientists invent a condom that allows for more pleasure, a disease is not worth it IMO lol..
 

erratic

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^^^ Definitely put a drop or two of lube in the condom. It does wonders.

I mean, of course wearing something over your penis is going to reduce some of the sensation. But like you said, fucking without a condom is risky. There is, of course, HIV. It's definitely not something that (sane) people want to catch. The positive guys I know live full and happy lives in as much as anyone else does, but they also face multiple physical and mental health issues that other folks don't, and they experience many layers of social stigma and rejection because of their status. I don't know a single poz guy who wouldn't be negative if he could be.

On top of that, there's Hep C, any number of other STIs, and lovely incurable infections like herpes, and gonorrhea (which isn't incurable yet, but is quickly approaching the point of being resistant to all known antibiotics).

When I was single, I always figured I should be taking into account that I could be unknowingly giving or receiving any of the above to or from any of my partners. It made condoms, communication, getting tested, and having boundaries about what I would do with whom and after how long, a lot more attractive.