Tops, How do you Want your Bottom to Act *Outside* the Bedroom?

privateidaho

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Thinking more about the times leading up to and following sexual activities ... What kind of behavior from a bottom do you find most seductive? What keeps you in interested? What turns you off?
 

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You know, I must admit I don't know too many people who really label themselves as tops or bottoms any more, but regardless, I've never understood why someone should behave a particular way according to what position they prefer in bed. I like my partner to behave out of bed the way he behaves in bed. Fun, funny, hot, confident, conscientious.
 

nudeyorker

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You know, I must admit I don't know too many people who really label themselves as tops or bottoms any more, but regardless, I've never understood why someone should behave a particular way according to what position they prefer in bed. I like my partner to behave out of bed the way he behaves in bed. Fun, funny, hot, confident, conscientious.

This pretty much sums up my feelings but I just don't like any affectation of trying to act or be a certain way that is not who or what the person really is.
 
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deleted804287

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And see, I only know people who label themselves as top or bottom. It's kind of important to distinguish before starting a relationship, unless of course you are both completely versatile. Anyways, I like my bottom to give me affection and pay attention to me as if I'm the only guy around. Theres nothing better than your bottom making you feel like a king.
 

AtomicMouse1950

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And see, I only know people who label themselves as top or bottom. It's kind of important to distinguish before starting a relationship, unless of course you are both completely versatile. Anyways, I like my bottom to give me affection and pay attention to me as if I'm the only guy around. Theres nothing better than your bottom making you feel like a king.

As a bottom I agree with you. But most Tops I know are not that romantic about their bottoms. I'd love ti find a Top, who would want me to cater for them.
 
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deleted556573

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And see, I only know people who label themselves as top or bottom. It's kind of important to distinguish before starting a relationship, unless of course you are both completely versatile. Anyways, I like my bottom to give me affection and pay attention to me as if I'm the only guy around. Theres nothing better than your bottom making you feel like a king.

This. Oh to have a bottom partner with this mentality...

As a bottom I agree with you. But most Tops I know are not that romantic about their bottoms. I'd love ti find a Top, who would want me to cater for them.

And this. I've found this to be a fairly common scenario, and most of my friends who identify as a bottom in their relationships have had this complaint more often than not. I always thought it was because they just picked the wrong person. Maybe not...

I'm a top, and would love to find a bottom partner that behaved in this fashion. Equally, I would love to have a bottom partner who would enjoy being treated like a prince, especially if he deserves it.

This applies in or out of the bedroom.
 
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deleted804287

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Im lucky, because my partner treats me like a king, and I do my best to make sure he is taken care of and loved
 

AtomicMouse1950

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I'm not exactly Queen material. But the feelings of intimacy I have after being fucked, I just want to do for the Top I'm with. One thing I forgot to mention. My last, or he might even my current Top, lost his partner 10 years ago, and I think he's gun shy, even though we basically get on very well. I guess he doesn't want to experience losing another partner is why, he doesn't want me to be too chummy. I think possibly after some certain behaviors I've noticed in him, that I'll probably will not be seeing him much longer, if at all, after this weekend. I met other gay men, who also lost their partners, some 10-20 years prior, and they're still not over them, enough to move on to something else. So in one way, I guess I'm lucky. My preference is to be with a very hung top, and to cater to his needs, wants, desires. I'm just a caring person, and I've always been that way, I can't seem to change that about myself.
 

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Like the person he is. I don't want to date a stereotype. I want to date a person. Sure it'd be wonderful if he was/is a freak in the bed with a penchant for sloppy blowjobs, but I think its unrealistic to expect someone to conform neatly to my behavioral expectations. Real life doesn't work that way.
 

erratic

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And see, I only know people who label themselves as top or bottom. It's kind of important to distinguish before starting a relationship, unless of course you are both completely versatile.

I've noticed that the top/bottom distinction tends to be very important for Americans, and for older guys (50+) around here, too. Maybe it's a cultural thing.
 

_chrizzian_

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I've noticed that the top/bottom distinction tends to be very important for Americans, and for older guys (50+) around here, too. Maybe it's a cultural thing.


Seem to be true, i've never heard any gay friends or so speaks about beeing top or bottom. I never talked about it with my boyfriend .... Feel like it is an unimportant label in Germany.


Just to twist the topic a bit... When i dream/fantasize about hot guys (99% they're tops) i always would like my top to be the Controlling/leading/domineering but still caring/loving half of the relationship. Words like "Protection" come to mind. Means, he would want me (his bottom) to be the following, learning, give-up-control and admiring part.

Thats why i really really like tmblake09's post :D
 

Guanaco11

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I prefer my bottoms (I call them pussy bois) to worship my cock in the bedroom and want nothing more than to had me use them for my pleasure and reward them with my man milk for a job well done.
That all changes outside of the bedroom. I want them to be masculine, genuine, affectionate, kind, witty and intelligent. I'd also like them to be relatively independent outside the bedroom. But when I close the door it's all about doing what I want them to do.
I've found that this is the best way for us to both have a great time.
I'm attentive, involved, kind, masculine and very interested in my bottoms welfare Nd happiness. But these attributes don't appear in the bedroom much!
 

Fenris11

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Hi All,
I know it is a little weird, but I am traditional when it comes to relationships.
I am a gay guy and I guess I identify as 'bottom'. I like to cook for my man, keep the house clean and make sure his needs are met lol.
I think this goes, in part, with me being completely bottom in the bedroom and happy this way.

May make me sound like some Stepford Wife, but I am happy like that lol
 

aethermaelstrom

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I've noticed that the top/bottom distinction tends to be very important for Americans, and for older guys (50+) around here, too. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

Seem to be true, i've never heard any gay friends or so speaks about beeing top or bottom. I never talked about it with my boyfriend .... Feel like it is an unimportant label in Germany.

I've never heard top/bottom discussed in the UK. It strikes me as such as strange notion that the gays should be one or the other; even more so that this would apply outside the bedroom. :confused:
 
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deleted804287

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I've never heard top/bottom discussed in the UK. It strikes me as such as strange notion that the gays should be one or the other; even more so that this would apply outside the bedroom. :confused:

I'll put it how I see it.

One way or the other, a person will prefer either topping or bottom. Yes, there are versatile people, but most people are one or the other.

I don't know about in the UK, but in America, relationships are a pretty big thing among gay men, and a relationship between two full-bottoms would just....not work. Or two full tops. They'd constantly be forcing each other into submission until one finally gave up. Sounds like fun to me.

I guess it's important because, before we establish these relationships, we like knowing that we will be sexually compatible. And labeling yourself as either a top, bottom, versatile, versatile top, versatile bottom etc. is a much faster way of determining that.
 

artemis91

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I've never heard top/bottom discussed in the UK. It strikes me as such as strange notion that the gays should be one or the other; even more so that this would apply outside the bedroom. :confused:

Haha how have you not heard of top/bottom in the UK when your gay and in the UK :p Missed out 'vers' though.

But you can be very dominate in daily life and yet be very bottom in the bed room, I had a guy who was the boss of a few shops and yet loved to be dominated in sex. Basically it depends on the guy.

I used to be submissive in day to day life and then dominate in the sex life, now Ive grown up and stopped being shy haha So I'm just active all the time :p
 

B_Nicodemous

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I think we ate blurring the definitions of top and bottom as referring to sexal receptive and insertive, with top and bottom, as referrong to D/s or BDSM. In the first. Top is the insertive, bottom receptive. In the second Top is the more dominate/aggresive, and bottom the more submissive and docile.

I, ad a vers / switch can be a very Dom top, or Dom bottom (I control the scene from either anal insertive or receptive modes) or sub top or bottom ( my partner sets the scene) usually I flip and switch throughout, and am lucky to have found my ideal sexual match.

As for the question. As a (sometimes) top...I want my partner to just be themselves out side the bedroom. If I fell for them and they are masculine, then I like them to act that way, if they are feminie, then that is how I like them. If they are not a robot and have a nice blending of "masculine" and "feminine" attributes, are intellectually stimulating, are hither an ass nor a doormat, and express themselves how they need and want to depending on a myriad reasons, then WOAH! I hit the jackpot.

They must be respectful of me, as I will be of them, and if we are in a relationship, they need to be able to be affectionate in public. FwB or FB need to be able to be friends or fun buddies, and not act all weird or clingy.