Torturing yourself with the dicksize of your exes new guy...

D_Alphonse_Allrod

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Okay, first of all, i know nothing about his dicksize. What this is about is the permanent attempt of my brain to torture me with pictures. Does any one of you know these constant attacks from the inside?

To make it more clearly: saw my ex with her new man yesterday (gues its her new man, cause they hold hands). Hit me like a train, even so i have tried to prepare myself for this moment.
No chance!!! Alsways hits hard doesn't matter how hard you fought against it.

Would be interesting why the dicksize of her new "lover" is important, of course thats not mature thinking, but many of my emotions of the moment are not those of an adult.

So i live with stupid and hurting thoughts for month now.
Would be interesting what the psychoanalysis or other psychological schools would tell me about it. Bigger dick - better lover? I defy, that i dont think like that.

Or does it hurt too much to think about: better person, better everything and bigger dick is easier?

Even the thinking of better is totally stupid and again: not the thinking and feeling of an adult. I think my younger me (thats how i call a character representing my teenage-me)is hurted the most and not so much thinking about love, taking care, and stuff like that.

I compared myself to other men my whole life. Even if i don't know anything about them my brain knows everything (it tells me). Emotions vs mind, a play i play every day after she broke up.

So, if any one has an idea how to stop the torturing please help. It's fresh and i think it can be stopped.

You can share any idea you have with me, i am a very open person when it comes to honest words.

Thx a lot in advance.
Hope you understood what i wanted so tell you.

Again: never saw his dick, did not talk to her about it (cause i don't talk to her for a month or so) its pure attacking from the inside. Psychological warfare!

I am in a recovering period at the moment so every spark of light might light a fire that burns the bad things (yeah, i do not lose hope)!

Hope i do not soudn like a victim i dont want to sound to whiny just try to express my feelings.(it's difficult enough in english)
 

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I know breaking up with someone you love can be very hard to deal with. I am sure how old you are but I do remember breaking up with woman when I was about 24 and I was not myself for months. The one thing I learned from that experience is you have to stop letting certain things get to you. It's none of your business how big your exes dick is. Who the hell cares? Get yourself back to being you so you can attract a woman who will appreciate all you have to offer. You won't be able to rock another woman's world as long as you are hung up on your ex.
 

D_Alphonse_Allrod

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Thx for your words. Yes, being cut out of a relationship is always hard, and you are totally right with this
You won't be able to rock another woman's world as long as you are hung up on your ex.
. That's what i am working on so hard: to get myself free from these thoughts. And that's why i want to understand these torturing thoughts, to get into opposition. Actually there is an inner fight going on every day since the breakup...
 

blackhandle

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Thx for your words. Yes, being cut out of a relationship is always hard, and you are totally right with this . That's what i am working on so hard: to get myself free from these thoughts. And that's why i want to understand these torturing thoughts, to get into opposition. Actually there is an inner fight going on every day since the breakup...


How long has it been? It took me about 6 months to get over the chick who broke my heart when I was in my 20s.
 

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Trust me its completely dependent to the woman and a woman's needs/wants/desires are constantly changing.

Playing with a huge dick might be all they care about cause its new to them....then as time passes normal relationship stuff comes up. Focus on your strengths.
 

D_Alphonse_Allrod

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As i said, i know nothing about his dick size, she never told me, actually i did not know that there is a new guy. I felt it in my heart.

The second one after me by the way. she broke up 4 month ago. It was not very long but i saw a lot of chances to go on...
That is the disgrace in this story: she is my ex and i am her ex, ex...

Thinking about his dick size i the torturing and auto-aggresive part in this tragedy. And i try to find out why that is important (on the emotional side) and what it stands for.

she never complained about my size or the sex, thats not the point..
 

blackhandle

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As i said, i know nothing about his dick size, she never told me, actually i did not know that there is a new guy. I felt it in my heart.

The second one after me by the way. she broke up 4 month ago. It was not very long but i saw a lot of chances to go on...
That is the disgrace in this story: she is my ex and i am her ex, ex...

Thinking about his dick size i the torturing and auto-aggresive part in this tragedy. And i try to find out why that is important (on the emotional side) and what it stands for.

she never complained about my size or the sex, thats not the point..


The only other thing I can say is forget about his dick and go find yourself some new pussy.
 

D_Alphonse_Allrod

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I think i have to explain it a bit more;-). I know that i should not think one second even about her anymore, of course not about her having sex (the torture is: of course the new sex is better) and not about her new guys cocksize.

I know that, but knowing helps nothing in these times where i am constantly struggling to stay stable and stabilize myself with healthy thoughts and thoughts i use against the psycho-torture.

My post was intentend to find out what is happening there, and why am i doing this? I got lots of life issues to solve and so it's important, that i end this psycho-torture as fast as i can.

I am tortured with the following (emotionally): better sex (what does that even mean?), bigger cock, better orgasms. First of all i am programmed with these destructive better, bigger, more successfull - patterns. I know there are stupid. The follow me all my life.

Mind vs Emotion. I know that it's stupid (when these pictures appear in my head) but i can feel the damage and i can feel it in my heart? Can you understand that?
 
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What would you think if you met him in a public shower with a raging hard on and discovered his cock is only 5 inches long?

Whatever reasons caused you to break-up over, the size of your cock probably doesn't factor into any of them.

Usually people break up over:

1- Money (not enough or one partner has too much)
2- Character flaws that the one partner never recognized in the other
3- Family
4- Ex's
5- Job
6- Geography (usually tied t job or money)

If you are thinking of her getting a bigger cock while you get yourself off, you may have a cuck fetish. Half the membership on here probably suffers from it.
 

D_Alphonse_Allrod

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The point is the inner torture not the cocksize. perhaps my english i soo, bad to make my thought clear enough to get helping answers. As we all know it's stupid to hold on to someone ywho cut you out of sometning living (in my opinion). Every second is a waste of time. But we don't talk about rational thoughts here. we talk about emotional torture and most of it just can be stopped there is no way for me (at the moment), to not let these emotional attacks happen.

That's the point. It's not helpful to tell me, to let go, focus on other thing, cause we all now that this hearsickness does not make sense. It's chaos, it's depression, you do stupid thigs (again), and you turture yourself (your self esteem is lower than low).

I have no fantasies about his cock.
Bigger is better is not what i think it's what i am tortured with. It does not even matter rationally.

He is a better sex partner?
Better is not even important, he can be different , beacuse he is not me, his body is different, and the energy is different. Thinking in terms of better is kind of pathological.

She has better orgasms: what is a better orgasm. It's not only because of the men, his skills, and her love or emotions for him, it's about how she can let got. How chilled she is , how comfortable she is with her body. Does she feel at home in her body?

My rational side can tell you 100 ways out of misery, pain, and this heartsickness-bullshit. It can even tell you why it's better to not have her in my life.

But what does the heart "say"?
I just can stop the pictures (at the moment) i cannot erase them.

So, its a psyhological topic and perhaps envy, other relationships and some stupid but learned thinking processes.

It's not helpful to tell poeple how it should work. Sorry, i can read magazines like FHM or others to get these advices.
What should be and what is.

Of course there weill be a life after her... that another magazine-advice.

Do some people really think in these terms, we read every day in magazines, see in tv, and so on?

I hate stereotype thinking...
 

6655321

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Okay, first of all, i know nothing about his dicksize. What this is about is the permanent attempt of my brain to torture me with pictures. Does any one of you know these constant attacks from the inside?

To make it more clearly: saw my ex with her new man yesterday (gues its her new man, cause they hold hands). Hit me like a train, even so i have tried to prepare myself for this moment.
No chance!!! Alsways hits hard doesn't matter how hard you fought against it.

Would be interesting why the dicksize of her new "lover" is important, of course thats not mature thinking, but many of my emotions of the moment are not those of an adult.

So i live with stupid and hurting thoughts for month now.
Would be interesting what the psychoanalysis or other psychological schools would tell me about it. Bigger dick - better lover? I defy, that i dont think like that.

Or does it hurt too much to think about: better person, better everything and bigger dick is easier?

Even the thinking of better is totally stupid and again: not the thinking and feeling of an adult. I think my younger me (thats how i call a character representing my teenage-me)is hurted the most and not so much thinking about love, taking care, and stuff like that.

I compared myself to other men my whole life. Even if i don't know anything about them my brain knows everything (it tells me). Emotions vs mind, a play i play every day after she broke up.

So, if any one has an idea how to stop the torturing please help. It's fresh and i think it can be stopped.

You can share any idea you have with me, i am a very open person when it comes to honest words.

Thx a lot in advance.
Hope you understood what i wanted so tell you.

Again: never saw his dick, did not talk to her about it (cause i don't talk to her for a month or so) its pure attacking from the inside. Psychological warfare!

I am in a recovering period at the moment so every spark of light might light a fire that burns the bad things (yeah, i do not lose hope)!

Hope i do not soudn like a victim i dont want to sound to whiny just try to express my feelings.(it's difficult enough in english)
The key to this, as with most personal relationship problems, is to be comfortable with yourself and have your own life/direction. I feel you - the brain can be evil and convince you to believe things you simply can't know.

I have been torn apart inside because my girlfriend's ex had a huge fucking dick. I'm between 6 and 7 inches and the best sex she's had, but it still bothers me a lot because of insecurities about providing the same level of fun/pleasure/craziness/experience. I'm really fucking good at sex and have an above average dick. I would definitely not feel insecure at all if she didn't have an ex who was huge. The only problem is worrying about measuring up (classy dick joke five) in terms of delivery. I wish I could punch the cervix and barely fit the whole thing in. I want penetration to be a violent thing rather than nice peg slipping into hole. The worst thing I heard is that his dick was so big (and she was so skinny) that it caused a visible bulge in her stomach. This shit is really hard to know and still be comfortable with yourself and confident in your abilities. I do not doubt my abilities in the slightest and she's given me no reason to (quite the contrary), but how could I not feel the way I do? It sucks ass.

Our base issues here are fundamentally different, but the solution is really the same: be thankful for what you have, be healthy, exercise, eat well, go out, do things for yourself, and in your case gain confidence when a girl loves you railing her. Good things will come to you if you look out for number one and don't worry about things. Be aggressive and playfully boastful about your sexuality with girls. I am a direct person so I would politely tell her that you would like to ask her something and/or talk. Address your concerns - ask her why she broke up with you and if it had anything to do with sexual satisfaction. 6inchcock's reasons for breaking up are the most likely, but they can definitely be intertwined with the sex life. Maybe you could even destroy her right then and there if her and the dude aren't serious, or even dating at all. I don't know much about your situation, but if you give more detail and feelings I'd be happy to talk about it.

First post on the site.
 

D_Adam_Zribbs

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Thx a lot for you long and very interesting post. Our sex was great, but i am not very self confident, that is true. So, it migth be, that deep in my brain is this little monster that tells me (like the other stupid things from my inner demons): that it could be better, longer more intensive.

Okay, and while i write this i have an idea (think this is a useful one): we started, wie could do so much more (in my opinion). When she tells me it was her best, so more had to ne possible, more experimenting, more intensity.

By the way it's kind of stupid to ask or long for even more intensity when you cumshots tell you: "whaaaaat more intensive ? You want to kill us?^^

The biggest virus in me next to some others is the comparison-virus as i talked about before.

And again: i have no info about his dick size and i have no info about him. I talk about the "new man next to her" i don't even have info if its a sexual realtionship, if it IS a relationship, or whtaver.

I mean, ich survived on this side under many names. I have never been sph-ed or treated badly. My cock is not average but around average. My balls aren't.

My cumshots are far above average in my opinion, thats one case where competition is fun.

I think we had very intensive sex cause we where into it.
The sex proves that there was a special intensity.

I try to re-program my brain with the term "different" and try to erase better. I know men are competition-hungry - actually i don't.
There can be no better sex there can be different sex with more intensity.
And new partner - new intensity - new cock and ballsize, new body, new "skills".

A relationship is not about rating!!!!

My cock was perfect for her pussy and bigger would hurt her (she said said) and she wasn't longing for bigger.

I have the feeling that
6655321 understood what i mainly talk about. I think you have a feel for the emotions vs thoughts . topic.

Most of my thoughts can get very emotionally in secs.

I am a very shy person, nearly no one believes me, i think at sex too. No one ever told me i act like a shy person.

So many things are complicated, confusing and self-torturing in my head. Perhaps i try meditation soon. Never worked before perhaps it works now if i find the right words.

Talking to her is not an option: i did that before and the damage that was done that day was kind of bigger than during the relationship.

I dont think in terms of destroying someone or hurt someone. Thats not my style.
The next steps, the re-programming, the recovery and all what i have to do know, i will do alone.

I am a relationship guy, the going-out-and-get-some-pussy does not work for me. And i am not very into the idea to fuck pain away (my hands can do that job very well).

Once again: i dont know how big the dick of the "man at her side" is (and my mature-me doesn't even care a sec). From her i know, that there was no bigger ones. And that does not matter - that's the past.

The present is torturing me, when it cums to these stupid teenager-like-thoughts, that put focus on really useless pictures.

I am kind of ashamed that i even have these thoughts and pictures in my head.

Exercise your demons - would be a step.

I am still very open for your posts and ideas, if you like to share them with me - feel free to do it. Skype or other messengers can be used at well.

This is very important to me, cause i am very into sharing and willing to do things better.

Thx a lot
Godzilla
 

Infernal

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My new name (ex Optimus) and you really think it's that easy Infernal? It isn't but thx anyway ^^. Anyone up with something helpful ;-)

That was actually your answer, not mine.

Usually, but not all the time, when a relationship ends it's because you are no longer in love with the person, or your feelings have changed. I'm not taking about when you just get kicked to the curb for no reason by some hole who moved on simply for a bigger cock. For me, when the relationship ends, it isn't worth my time wondering if the new boyfriend has a bigger cock than I do, or if the ex has better orgasms from the new boyfriend. It is a waste of time and serves no purpose but preventing me from moving on. If I no longer have feelings for the person, why should I care about what they are doing in bed with someone else ?

Should the ex shove it in my face that the new boyfriend is bigger, or better in bed, then that deserves a different response entirely. Something along the lines of - Well, I had it before you did, so enjoy my table scraps.
 

D_Adam_Zribbs

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I never said: that these emotional thoughts and pictures aren't stupid or senseless. I used the term self-torturing (masochistic).

It's really hard to explain it, cause i am not a native english speaker and so there might be words, that would fit better to make myself clear.

First of all my thread-name was not very well chosen. Takes to much emphasize on the cock-thing.
It's one of the aspects of these disturbing pics and emotions but not the only one.

You are absolutely right, that it's a waste of time what i do. But hating myself for feeling that way would cause even more damage.

So i try to repair the damage and oft course try to prevent myself from being damaged from the inside. Hey, that very complex psychology and we talk about emotions, that aren't even close to healthy.

Started this thread cause i wanted to find out why it's the dick, why isn't the-being-better in some other categories?

If one person says, that he is better at sex (even sounds tupid to me) than another? How can he say that? We are all different, how can a person be better than me?

And how do we define sex: for me sex starts a long time before the penetration starts.
So he can last longer, or he can do it several times. But why do i even think about it.

And that's my question to you and myself? Why this torture?

Dick
Sex
Orgasm are of course all sexual and related.
What causes the suffering: is the BETTER! So, as i said, i try to erase the BETTER and call it DIFFERENT. That is mature thinking.

I think it's chaos and not even explainable.

It's not mature and it's not helpful what happens inside of me.

It's a trap: i think about actions that might happen in another persons life but i can never find out whats the truth (and i don't want to says the adult).
But so its a vicious cycle i am in and i want to step out of it.

Infernal: it's not all about the dick-thing - i chose a confusing thread-title.
 
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justsomebuddy

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And it never is about the dick - thing. It's tough. Been there, and it's heart wrenching.

I had an ex that I kept trying to claw back to. And she kept letting me.... largely in part due to what we all tend to have around here. She was one of the girls that dig that, and since I loved and cared about her so much, the sex was electric. Which lead to emotional pain for me because that's all she wanted out of it all.

As many have mentioned in this thread: women are complicated and many different drives that motivate their actions

Just find your confidence. Find yourself. Then once you're happy with yourself, go rock. And along the way you'll rock the socks off of the next girl, and you'll be happy. Not because of her. But because you were happy with yourself to begin with.

This even in my life is largely why I joined this sight a few years back- looking for answers. Seeing if my geometry had anything to do with any of my problems. It didn't- it only just covered a universal problem with a unique label and unique side-effects.
 
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D_Adam_Zribbs

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Thx, at the moment i torture myself with the more emotional side - lovesickness. The dick-thing was a short time in my head, but it made me aware of how brutal i sometimes act against myself. As a good friend told me: anything can happen during lovesickness, seams like the logic went to holiday. Rational thoughts can repair but not prevent stupid and hurting ones.
The cock thing is in my opinion just another example of how i constantly compare with other men. Means that my self confidence is lower than low.

Comparison with guys you dont know a thing about is exhausting, stupid and again: torture.
I have to stop these auto-aggressive thoughts - i know that.
The last days i felt like shit. I do my best.
 

NCGUY1972

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Somewhere in your mind what she thinks still matters to you and you are afraid she is comparing you to him in her mind. More than likely he is a new man with a new cock and she has moved on towards happiness. I dont think size matters nearly as much to women as it does to us guys. You should be moving on anyway and it shouldnt bother you.