I am hoping to hear from any of you tops or "total tops" out there who spent most of your life as tops until you btmed for the first time. How did you feel when you took a big dick up your ass for the first time - pleasure or pain or mixture of the two? Who did it? How large? Did you cum while getting fucked or not? Where you surprised to be hard...or soft? Curious if the act of being a btm for the first time made you feel, i.e., were you embarrassed and/or "vulnerable" from the feeling (and reality) of taking dick up your hole? Did it blow your mind or freak you out to realize you were able to receive pleasure from your asshole by being pounded by a big cock? Did you btm for a dick bigger than your own or smaller? And was cock size a major factor in (finally) being willing to get fucked for the first time? Asking all this since it's my experience that most guys say that are "tops" but they are really "vers" which means they are usually closet btms who can't own up to the fact that they really like getting fucked and all the masculine/feminine issues/judgements that go along wth this. Or maybe it's as simple as some guys like to fuck and some guys like to get fucked.