Tourism Info

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. jakeatolla

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2004
    Messages:
    3,093
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host
    the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some
    questions people from all over the
    world are asking. Believe it or not these
    questions about Canada were posted on an
    International Tourism Website.

    Obviously the answers are a joke; but the
    questions were really asked!




    I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so
    how do the plants grow

    (England )
    A:
    We import all plants fully grown and then
    just sit around and watch them
    die.


    Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the
    street? ( USA )


    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


    I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -
    can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take
    lots of water.


    Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )


    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


    Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ?
    Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver ,
    Edmonton and Halifax ? (England )

    A: What, did your last slave die?


    Can you give me some information about hippo
    racing in Canada ? ( USA )

    A:
    A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
    south of Europe
    ..... Ca-na-da is that big country to your
    North...oh forget it.
    Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night
    in Calgary . Come naked.


    Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees
    Contact us when you get
    here and we'll send the rest of the
    directions.


    Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?( England )

    A:
    Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


    Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir
    schedule? ( USA )


    A:
    Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country
    bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.
    Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
    Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight
    after the hippo races.
    Come naked.


    Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )

    A: No, WE don't stink.


    I have developed a new product that is the
    fountain of youth. Where
    can I sell it in Canada ?( USA )

    A:
    Anywhere significant numbers of Americans
    gather.


    Can you tell me the regions in British
    Columbia where the
    female population is smaller than the male
    population? ( Italy )


    Yes, gay nightclubs.


    Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ?
    ( USA )


    A: Only at Thanksgiving.


    Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk
    available all year round?( Germany )

    A:
    No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan
    hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


    I have a question about a famous animal in
    Canada , but I forget its name.
    It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )

    A:
    It's called a Moose. They are tall and very
    violent, eating the
    brains of anyone walking close to them. You
    can scare them off by
    spraying yourself with human urine before you
    go out walking.



    Will I be able to speak English most places I
    go? ( USA )

    A:
    Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
     
  2. canuck_pa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,196
    Likes Received:
    124
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Beautiful Vancouver Canada
    I worked in Guest Relations at Expo86 here in Vancouver. The questions we heard were hilarious. We had a bulletin board where we posted the best ones.

    I wish I could remember them but this is one of my favourites:

    Who's this here lady on your money and what's she doing there?

    Queen Elizabeth is on most of our money. She's our queen too.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted