@spaj8987 nailed on the head as far as the definition of toxic masculinity. I think it would be ignorant demise toxic masculinity because it is a thing, there are also toxic and ignorant people. Just an example of Toxic masculinity from my experiences:
I grew up with a very dominant natured dad, he was an All-American (especially baseball, almost ended up on the Atlanta Braves) in sports, he was built and very strong, had a reputation as a guy not to fuck with on the streets. I come around in the world, and my dad is expecting me to be just like him. I'm supposed to play all sports. I hate baseball, I wasn't that much into football (however my mom wouldn't let me either), I loved basketball (was serious until 13, but he didn't care then...), I did run track and was really good (he only came to one track meet, the one I messed up in high school and everything went crashing down), I was doing martial arts (started off with Karate), but it turned out that I don't like violence. I wasn't a confident little boy, in fact I had zero. I didn't think I could do anything, I was sensitive and I cried very easily. Which led to my dad smacking me across the head a lot telling me to "stop crying like a
punk." I'd tell him about my low confidence and all he says is "you got my blood son, you'll be Okay." Which basically means, you're going to turn out like me since you have my blood. But, I wasn't him. As a result, I felt inadequate through most of my life. I felt this pressure to be this presence like my dad, but I'm this gentle natured, outgoing boy who just like to see everyone smile. My dad drank a lot so that's when he lash out, just so happens I'm the one he takes everything out on. I didn't know how much me not playing sports like him ate at him until the one day he went into a drunken rage telling me how bad it makes him look when he has to you to the
guys and tell them that I'm not playing sports. When I was going to high school, I had a cousin who was a football (plays pro ball over seas in fact) and basketball star, and baseball star and very popular. It was a cousin I was very close with growing up, we were like brothers. It ate at my dad that I wasn't like him and having all this success and attention. He even went as far as telling a friend in front of my face that I was on the varsity football team playing as quarterback, that probably hurt me more than anything. That was when I distanced myself from my cousin (I just told him about this two months ago) and lost even more confidence. My dad felt pressured not only by his own masculinity myth, but other mens as well and he imposed it on me. It devoured me mentally.
I started taking interest in a creative field which I still pursue today which has allowed me to discover myself and be my true self and it feels so damn good. I'm not out here trying to make people happy or proud anymore, I'm making myself proud. That's the only validation I need. I'm not a big guy like my dad, but I am lean and strong (and very athletic), I may not look that intimidating, however I'm probably a little prettier than my dad (lol, just saying). I may not have a reputation of being a tough guy, but I am a guy who draws people for simply the opposite. I've carved my own masculinity, and that masculinity wears crop tops, it wears bright colors, it smiles more than it frowns. I love sports (basketball, football, soccer, MMA, kickboxing, Muay Thai), but I also love the arts (theater, ballet, dance, fashion). I probably love Kobe Bryant and Beyonce equally, and? I might utilize more feminine energy than masculine energy, but it's my masculinity. The
New Masculinity.
Sorry for the focused rant, lol (well, it's not really a rant, I'm not angry). I just had a lot of insight on this matter because this is something I've dealt with early in my life. And I can't blame my dad because he didn't have a father in his life, he had no example. But toxic masculinity is very much a real thing.
*sorry if there's any typos, the boy was flowing*