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Below is a Translation Guide for the comments on this forum.
"Model" = "Posted a shirtless photo on Instagram."
"Celebrity" = "Has more than 1,000 followers on Instagram, even if they're bought."
"I heard" = "I am composing a piece of fan fiction because if I'd actually heard or read something, I'd be able to back that shit up."
"He's racist/homophobic/sexist." = I don't like him, and I want other people to not like him, too, so I'm going to level this horrible accusation at him, even though I can't actually back it up."
"He's full of himself/not very nice/a snob." = "He didn't respond to my DM."
"I actually know him very well/We're friends." = "He responded to one of my DMs one time."
"He's boring." = "He doesn't party."
"Hi, [subject-of-post]!" = "I got called out for being a shit, or someone defended the guy, so rather than ignore the thread or own up to the fact that I'm a little shit, I'm going to deflect by suggesting that the only person who would defend the subject of the post against my shitheadedness would be the subject of the post himself. Again, I'm a little shit with no life and no friends."
"He's an escort." = "He seems to travel more than I do and spend more money than I do, and I can't work out the math, even though he's probably sleeping six to a hotel room with his friends. I don't have friends, so I don't understand splitting costs."
"He uses steroids." = "I went to the gym once, and I don't look like that now, so clearly no one else can, either."
"Ten inches" = "Eight inches"
"Nine inches" = "Seven inches"
"Eight inches" = "Six inches"
"Seven inches" = "Five inches"
"Small" = "Average"
"He's malnourished" = "His body fat is under 10%."
"He's obese." = "His body fat is over 12%."
"Spill the tea." = "Someone more creative than me write some fan fiction."
"He's had work done." = "He uses too much facetune."
"He looks old!" = "He doesn't use facetune."
"Hi, boomer!" = "I'm an immature little shit, so even though the person who called me out is likely a millenial, I'm going to act like they're the oldest person I've ever heard of and see if I can make them feel bad for possibly being older than me, even though they're probably not more than a decade older than I am if they are. I'm stupid, so even though I'm Gen Z, I think I'm a millenial, I've never heard of Gen X, and I don't realize that Baby Boomers are senior citizens who don't give a shit about this forum."
"Model" = "Posted a shirtless photo on Instagram."
"Celebrity" = "Has more than 1,000 followers on Instagram, even if they're bought."
"I heard" = "I am composing a piece of fan fiction because if I'd actually heard or read something, I'd be able to back that shit up."
"He's racist/homophobic/sexist." = I don't like him, and I want other people to not like him, too, so I'm going to level this horrible accusation at him, even though I can't actually back it up."
"He's full of himself/not very nice/a snob." = "He didn't respond to my DM."
"I actually know him very well/We're friends." = "He responded to one of my DMs one time."
"He's boring." = "He doesn't party."
"Hi, [subject-of-post]!" = "I got called out for being a shit, or someone defended the guy, so rather than ignore the thread or own up to the fact that I'm a little shit, I'm going to deflect by suggesting that the only person who would defend the subject of the post against my shitheadedness would be the subject of the post himself. Again, I'm a little shit with no life and no friends."
"He's an escort." = "He seems to travel more than I do and spend more money than I do, and I can't work out the math, even though he's probably sleeping six to a hotel room with his friends. I don't have friends, so I don't understand splitting costs."
"He uses steroids." = "I went to the gym once, and I don't look like that now, so clearly no one else can, either."
"Ten inches" = "Eight inches"
"Nine inches" = "Seven inches"
"Eight inches" = "Six inches"
"Seven inches" = "Five inches"
"Small" = "Average"
"He's malnourished" = "His body fat is under 10%."
"He's obese." = "His body fat is over 12%."
"Spill the tea." = "Someone more creative than me write some fan fiction."
"He's had work done." = "He uses too much facetune."
"He looks old!" = "He doesn't use facetune."
"Hi, boomer!" = "I'm an immature little shit, so even though the person who called me out is likely a millenial, I'm going to act like they're the oldest person I've ever heard of and see if I can make them feel bad for possibly being older than me, even though they're probably not more than a decade older than I am if they are. I'm stupid, so even though I'm Gen Z, I think I'm a millenial, I've never heard of Gen X, and I don't realize that Baby Boomers are senior citizens who don't give a shit about this forum."