Translations for gay profiles on internet dating sites

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by marleyisalegend, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. marleyisalegend

    Gold Member

    Oct 3, 2007
    Likes Received:
    I’m a total top.
    You can fuck my brains out.

    I’m not into kink.
    I’m into some sick shit that would make you run screaming from the room if I told you what it was.

    I’m not looking for a relationship.
    My boyfriend doesn’t know I’m fucking around on him.

    I work out five times a week.
    I go to the gym twice a week; the other three times I’m working out my low self-esteem issues with my shrink.

    I’m 25 and very boyish.
    I’m pushing 40.

    I’m relationship oriented.
    My fucking boyfriend is cheating on me.

    I’m str8 and curious.
    I’ve been fucked… a lot.

    I’m a total bottom.
    I’m a total bottom.

    I’m horse hung.
    It’s slightly bigger than the average dick, but if I light the bedroom just the right way, you will think it’s huge.

    I give a great massage!
    And if you want “release” that will be $75 extra.

    I like to get freaky!
    Do you have a boyfriend I can fuck?

    I love watching old movies.
    I am a new falcon exclusive.

    I’m very versatile.
    Oh God! I wanna get fucked so bad!

    My dick is always rock hard.
    The Viagra is stashed under the bathroom sink.

    I’m not an escort.
    I prefer the term “companion”.

    Hot guy with a six-pack.
    If you drink an entire six-pack, you might think I’m hot.

    I have a thing for uniforms.
    I’ve been incarcerated.

    I’m hung very thick.
    My dick is small.

    Not into cyber chat.
    I’m stupid and can’t make conversation.

    No models, actors, or waiters.
    I want a sugar daddy!

    I don't have time for drama.
    My life is already so full of it that I have two dayplanners. Gimme more!

    Masculine only.
    I have Britney in the disc-changer, I wear tight jeans, and my wrist is more limp than Hugh Hefner.

    I'm unique.
    I don't shower and I don't know how to coordinate basic outfits.
    #1 marleyisalegend, Dec 10, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2008
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