Translations for gay profiles on internet dating sites

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by marleyisalegend, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. marleyisalegend

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    5,587
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    charlotte
    I’m a total top.
    You can fuck my brains out.

    I’m not into kink.
    I’m into some sick shit that would make you run screaming from the room if I told you what it was.

    I’m not looking for a relationship.
    My boyfriend doesn’t know I’m fucking around on him.

    I work out five times a week.
    I go to the gym twice a week; the other three times I’m working out my low self-esteem issues with my shrink.

    I’m 25 and very boyish.
    I’m pushing 40.

    I’m relationship oriented.
    My fucking boyfriend is cheating on me.

    I’m str8 and curious.
    I’ve been fucked… a lot.

    I’m a total bottom.
    I’m a total bottom.

    I’m horse hung.
    It’s slightly bigger than the average dick, but if I light the bedroom just the right way, you will think it’s huge.

    I give a great massage!
    And if you want “release” that will be $75 extra.

    I like to get freaky!
    Do you have a boyfriend I can fuck?

    I love watching old movies.
    I am a new falcon exclusive.

    I’m very versatile.
    Oh God! I wanna get fucked so bad!

    My dick is always rock hard.
    The Viagra is stashed under the bathroom sink.

    I’m not an escort.
    I prefer the term “companion”.

    Hot guy with a six-pack.
    If you drink an entire six-pack, you might think I’m hot.

    I have a thing for uniforms.
    I’ve been incarcerated.

    I’m hung very thick.
    My dick is small.

    Not into cyber chat.
    I’m stupid and can’t make conversation.

    No models, actors, or waiters.
    I want a sugar daddy!

    I don't have time for drama.
    My life is already so full of it that I have two dayplanners. Gimme more!

    Masculine only.
    I have Britney in the disc-changer, I wear tight jeans, and my wrist is more limp than Hugh Hefner.

    I'm unique.
    I don't shower and I don't know how to coordinate basic outfits.
     
    #1 marleyisalegend, Dec 10, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2008
Draft saved Draft deleted
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice