Trauma causes homosexuality?

[Joseph]

Ehem, this is a very strange subject. Some of my friends are gay, of course online friends...... everyday I learn more and more about them and due to my confusion regarding my sexuality, usually I want to know how they discovered that they are gay, since I wonder if it's a similar situation as mine.

Well somehow two of them claim to have been straight (or bi) but turned gay after a tragic traumatic event.

I don't want to type exactly what these events were for them, since I feel as if I was revealing private matter here, even if I'm not writing who they are.

But basicly, I'm quite surprised... sure I never had any things like that happen to me, so I don't know, but I feel sorry for them kinda.... giving up on women because of events like that. OK, sure, being gay is ok and all, but i feel as if.... fate forced them too..... I guess they are comfortable with being gay now........ sigh...
:frown1:
Anyways, did you ever hear of such things? Of people having things like this happen to them ?

 

[Industrialsize]

Nope.......I was gay since I exited the womb.......and my hunch is your friends were as well but took some time to realize it and become comfortable with it.

 

[425498]

hey joe,obviously u havent had a one on one with a gay person,that way u wud knw how gud we can be! u don't have trauma,it's jst that u need a person like me to tutor u a bit more. koketso

 

[GypsyEyes]

I think what he means is the effect trauma/ abuse has on our psyche. Please don't misunderstand not all gay males were abused by men, I have a friend who was and I really think it's relative. I have just as many gay male friends who weren't. I think it just happens to be a coincidence. It's not like when a young girl is molested and she starts acting out later slutting it up and whoring around, those are reactionary behaviors this is about who someone is. I think that's why some morons think they can cure homosexuality because they try to compare apples and oranges. Trauma of any kind will affect the choices you make so it could be that after whatever trauma your friend's experienced they felt they had nothing left to lose, or that they'd already had so much taken from them that it was time to do something for themselves. I can't give you an exact analysis but I can tell you is the best way to find out is to go directly to the source and explain your own feelings and why you want to know.

If your primary attraction is to men and women aren't nearly as appealing you're probably gay.
If you don't have a primary attraction; you're probably bi
If your primary attraction is to women but men are still on your radar you're probably bi and vice versa

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

That is total new concept about being gay... Could be, don't know. I would more think that those guys were gay before, but never admitted it too themself...

 

[Joseph]

Well I myself have my doubts if they were as straight as they claim to have been.

I guess i could mention one of the 2 to clarify things.
His girlfriend died and now he feels strange/guilty dating other women, so now he's all gay apparently.
That seems like a hard thing to take... but on the other hand he does act a bit "too gay" which confuses me!

But I guess I don't really know a damn thing for sure about my sexuality, so I'm the wrong person to judge...

 

[B_Nick8]

The vast majority of gay people I've ever known knew it very early on, as soon as they became aware of any sexuality at all. Understanding what it meant may have taken some time. I'm sure there are some traumatized people who've eventually realized and/or come to terms with the fact that they were gay and they may have connected it to whatever trauma they endured, but I don't believe that there's any cause and effect there.

 

[davecrowley]

im surprised as to how a thread with as ridiculous a title as this has gone this far?

 

[B_Nick8]

I hear you. But the question's been asked so it deserves an answer.

 

[Joseph]

Sorry, I often ask stupid questions..........

I myself find the "trauma argument" strange and less likely, but I wanted to make sure.... I end up as an idiot.... If this was a thing that occurs... I'd be an idiot for questioning it.......... but since this thing is hardly believable then I am an idiot for even thinking it could be true.

Thank you for your input, I'm a bit smarter now.

 

[homohawk]

i thought u meant trauma in the womb!

 

[Gnothiseauton]

A genuine and honest question is never stupid... everyone needs to learn somehow, and some just prefer to ask than go on wondering.

It seems to me that a traumatic life event does a lot to a person, but I am very certain it is not enough to make any change sexuality. They might change their preference for a while, but at their core they will always be what they always were... As mentioned above, some individuals that go through a traumatic event may become aware of their repressed lives, and may decide to live their lives to the fullest from then on. Hence seemingly "turning" gay.

 

[jonluke6ft2]

That is a bunch of shit! Nothing turns a straight man gay. They either like to suck cock or not. That simple. Don't make any more if it.

 

[D_CountdeGrandePinja]

Friends - being gay is not a choice! Being gay is not only sucking cock!
Being gay is a life, not a lifestyle.
Questions are great - discussion is how we all learn more.
Plus - God doesn't make any junk! We are ALL valuable - make a difference today!

 

[arktrucker]

The OP is absolutely right.

Trauma does it.

THE TRAUMA OF DEALING WITH COMPLETE DOLTS ON THIS SUBJECT ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS!

 

[B_Nick8]

Guys, please. I had a conversation with the OP privately. It was an honest question based on the fact that he'd been told by another person that they attributed being gay to childhood trauma. Moreover, he has some issues himself. Please, give him credit for sincerity and try to be a little kinder about this.

 

[dolfette]

my take on this...

if you have any bi tendencies, be they great or tiny, a trauma could push you further in one direction.
sometimes the bi side can be repressed and denied for years. people convince themselves they're straight and 'normal'.
a traumatic event can also ''kill'' your desire for sex, either in general or with just one gender.

and the OP was just asking a question ffs.
if we don't talk openly, address the misconceptions, then how will things ever improve?

 

[Fredro]

I imagine that a lot of those who come to the realization that they are gay have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are simply that - gay. They cannot allow themselves to accept that they are gay with no reasons. This would mean that it was something inherent in them from the beginning. They feel the need to find some cause or reason so they can displace the "blame" to quiet the guilt they feel in their minds. People need to understand that there need be no guilt and they shouldn't have to find some specific cause to blame it on.

I do however feel that there is the rare case where someone has been traumatized by some bad event in their lives and that their sexuality might have been forced to take an alternate route. Those genuine cases, I suspect are few and far between.

 

[houtx48]

no stupid questions but plenty of stupid answers

 

[Fredro]

Oh? Which answers might those be?