Trick Fuck......

[Love-it]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I received a letter from my old job at the end of April and if I pass my physical on 5/17/07 I can return to work immediately. I can’t wait to be a self-sufficient, productive member of society again.

Unfortunately, I am not an anomaly. There are many people in this country for whom existing on General Assistance is not the be all and end all you seem to think it is. We were not reared in the system. We do not spend the meager money allotted us monthly on lobster tails and crystal meth or whatever it is people like you, think people on Welfare do. I call it an existence; I refuse to call it living because it’s not. I know what living is and trust me this ain’t it.

First: we wish you the best on May 17th.

Second: any one of us could be the next one on that list of those who need and/or receive General Assistance. I got a new pair of glasses once that I desperately needed through Medi-Cal, I think, when I was just out of college and struggling to make a living, and I have been on Unemployment a few times and glad it was there. I have met a few who refused public assistance to the point that their children suffered. And there are the success stories of wealth to welfare and back to wealth who have given back to the system. I have met people who honestly couldn't make it without assistance and I have met many in our small community who milk the system to the maximum with false information and doctors willing to lie or at least not question their patients true nature. The last welfare recipients are the ones that get all the press.

 

[DGirl]

I am NOT WORTHLESS!

I know you are NOT worthless...:wink:

 

[va_lk_yr_ie]

Let me start by saying that this is not directed at NJQT as such - but her reply provided a nice base to start this discussion from.

Is it a biological urge for women to have babies? YES.

With this I agree. Even for me - that has no actual wish to have and rear children - I can still at times get a bit sad to know that I'll never experience the feeling of being pregnant. To have a life growing inside, to see and register the changes in my own body.

This in itself is pure biology as far as I'm concerned - stronger around the time I ovulate, weaker at other times - the cycle itself is quite clear. But - and that's the major differentiator for me - I have no urge whatsoever to actually see myself in a mothering role after the child would be born - raising, taking care of, providing for, playing with. For me it is a pure biological 'curiosity' if you so wish - what would it feel like.

Would I like to experience it? Yes. But putting a child into this world just to satisfy a biological curiosity without having an interest and a burning desire to then actually provide for and raise that child. No thanks - that's a recipe for disaster - both for myself and for that potential child.

Is it that you don't feel whole until you've done so. For many of us, yes that is true. There are other women who are able to hit the snooze alarm on their biological clock indefinetely.

The bottomline is our biological purpose as women is to procreate. We can be doctors, teachers, lawyers, CEO's at somepoint that means absolutely nothing without a baby. If you can't do the one thing you were put on earth for, then nothing else matters.

If you are a woman without children at age 30 people start looking at you funny, at 35 the stage whispering behind your back starts. By 37 you are openly pitied and sometimes shunned as if you had done something wrong by having standards and not allowing just any guy to knock you up.

Now, this is where my big beef is. To reduce women (and men) to just being here for procreation is in my world to minimize us beyond what is good for us. To say that our most important purpose on this earth is to further mankind by producing offspring is in a way akin to putting us on the same level as animals. Eat, sleep, fuck and bring children into this world.

To me that reasoning takes away the the characteristic that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom - our brain, our ability to create other things, our inventivness, our drive to further ourselves, our logical thinking, our reasoning and all those other factors that are unique to man.

To say that a woman can't live a fulfilling life and find meaning in it without giving in to the biological urge to have children is to me a foreign way of reasoning. That reasoning reduces me to a womb on two legs - disregard the fact that I have a functioning brain and that I enjoy all the other aspects of life as I know it - my career (and no, it's not a substitute for having children...), my friends, my lovers, my ambitions to see and experience as much of this world as I am able to before I finally kick the dust, my hours on the golf course, etc.

<irony>But I don't have any children so I can't be satisfied with life because we all know that women just want to have children...</irony>

Personally I've never met the attitudes described in the latter part of the quoted post. I'm today 37 - have never, ever met the condescending attitude, the whispers, any type of shunning. Curiosity from others on why I've made the choice I have - but never questioning, never pity, never someone feeling sorry for me - not even as a hint or something I've vaguely registered. Perhaps it's a cultural thing - I'm not entirely sure about that as I've spent my fair share of time in the US too and never registered the attitude there either.

 

[MagicTongue]

In the words of a character from Boys in the Hood, "Even if she says she's on Birth Control you use a rubber anyway." (If the quote is a bit off, I apoligize... It's been a while since I last watched the movie.)

As for you friend, there are many things she can do. She can have her eggs stored away for later, when she's married to a nice man who will love her and any children they bear. Or she can pursue the relationship with the guy, get hitched, and then have kids. Or maybe she could wait and adopt. I'm sure there are plenty of kids who would love to have a set of loving parents out there.

 

[Love-it]

With this I agree. Even for me - that has no actual wish to have and rear children - I can still at times get a bit sad to know that I'll never experience the feeling of being pregnant. To have a life growing inside, to see and register the changes in my own body.

This in itself is pure biology as far as I'm concerned - stronger around the time I ovulate, weaker at other times - the cycle itself is quite clear. But - and that's the major differentiator for me - I have no urge whatsoever to actually see myself in a mothering role after the child would be born - raising, taking care of, providing for, playing with. For me it is a pure biological 'curiosity' if you so wish - what would it feel like.

Would I like to experience it? Yes. But putting a child into this world just to satisfy a biological curiosity without having an interest and a burning desire to then actually provide for and raise that child. No thanks - that's a recipe for disaster - both for myself and for that potential child.

Now, this is where my big beef is. To reduce women (and men) to just being here for procreation is in my world to minimize us beyond what is good for us. To say that our most important purpose on this earth is to further mankind by producing offspring is in a way akin to putting us on the same level as animals. Eat, sleep, fuck and bring children into this world.

To me that reasoning takes away the the characteristic that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom - our brain, our ability to create other things, our inventivness, our drive to further ourselves, our logical thinking, our reasoning and all those other factors that are unique to man.

To say that a woman can't live a fulfilling life and find meaning in it without giving in to the biological urge to have children is to me a foreign way of reasoning. That reasoning reduces me to a womb on two legs - disregard the fact that I have a functioning brain and that I enjoy all the other aspects of life as I know it - my career (and no, it's not a substitute for having children...), my friends, my lovers, my ambitions to see and experience as much of this world as I am able to before I finally kick the dust, my hours on the golf course, etc.

<irony>But I don't have any children so I can't be satisfied with life because we all know that women just want to have children...</irony>

Personally I've never met the attitudes described in the latter part of the quoted post. I'm today 37 - have never, ever met the condescending attitude, the whispers, any type of shunning. Curiosity from others on why I've made the choice I have - but never questioning, never pity, never someone feeling sorry for me - not even as a hint or something I've vaguely registered. Perhaps it's a cultural thing - I'm not entirely sure about that as I've spent my fair share of time in the US too and never registered the attitude there either.

We don't have children, I had a vasectomy in the 70's when it was unusual for a man without children to get the procedure. My wife is 59 now and had a hysterectomy so I say our chances of having children are pretty slim. I can understand Va_lk_yr_ie's views of having children from the male side of things but my wife couldn't handle the idea of being responsible for children, hers or any others. It would have been nice from my point of view, but not necessary and having children sure would have changed our lives. We're glad that we are where we are and no regrets. And every once in a while we meet another couple, some our age, more younger ones and only one couple so far that are older than we are, who for their own reasons, not medical, decided not to have children, all are happy and as surprised as we are to meet another couple who followed the same path.

Part of my feelings on the subject of having children concerned ZPG, Zero Population Growth. My grandmother in law's opinion was that it was a shame that we weren't adding to the gene pool so that we would help raise the IQ level of the next generation.

 

[DC_DEEP]

<...>
but seriously, why would anyone want to trap someone? I mean, isn't it just trapping yourself in a shitty relationship with no real love? How could anyone even think that idea would work? Even if he did stay, it would just be out of guilt. People are so strange. oh, and stupid

That's it in a nutshell!

One thing that has not been mentioned. The woman may be a cunt (hate that word) and the guy may (or may not) be dumb for finding himself in this situation....

Bbut what about the innocent life that's brought into this world to fuck with the guy and "trap" him???

Women who end up thinking that way become obsessive, and they don't think about any of the 3 lives involved in "their little scheme." They only think about "how can I trick him into doing what I want him to do?"

<...>
It's tantamount to rape, IMO.

I understand that the guy is willingly having sex with the woman. But we ought to be able to have some trust in this world. A man should be able to trust that a woman who says she is protected, is indeed protected.

I wish there were some penalty for forcing a man to father a child without his knowledge, and against his will.

But I understand that logistically, it's impossible.

All we can do, as women, is be dead honest with each other. It's more than a bad decision...it's a violation of another human being, at the deepest levels.

Holly, you always have such great insight. I agree, it's a form of rape. The guy in MercurialBliss's link should have been able to file some sort of lawsuit against that woman - and win.

I've only known of one trick fuck instance. When I was a senior in high school, a fellow I knew, who had graduated the year before, went to a party and got drunk. He ended up having sex with a girl who was two years younger than me. She claimed she was pregnant, they got married. I guess I'm the only one who noticed that she was pregnant for 11 months.

Several children later, she was bitching to another friend about how her husband didn't make enough money. He was working at a factory to support his family. This friend suggested to her that she get a job. She angrily replied "my only job is to bear his children." Nasty bitch!

 

[Big Dreamer]

Not precisely in keeping with the theme of the thread, but certainly related, would be a trend I've noticed with a decent handful of my friends. I'm seeing couples with inherent and insurmountable compatibility issues that try to solve their fundamental differences by pushing the relationship to the next serious level.

Example:

Boyfriend: "We've been fighting a whole bunch lately."
Girlfriend: "Yup, we definitely don't see eye to eye on much these days."
Boyfriend: "Maybe if we got married it would bring us closer. Look at how Craig and Jen get along."
Girlfriend: "OK. Sure."


Fast forward a year:

Wife: "Why can't we have one day where we don't bicker at each other?"
Husband: "I don't know, maybe it's job stress or something."
Wife: "I'll bet if we had a child it would give us somewhere to focus our energy together."
Husband: "I was thinking the same thing honey."


Fast forward two more years (and two children):

Wife: "I fucking hate you."
Husband: "No shit. Living with you is no joy either."


I wish I was kidding. No wonder divorce lawyers own yachts and drive Mercedes. Business is good.

 

[Principessa]

As for your friend, there are many things she can do. She can have her eggs stored away for later, I looked into this 3 years ago, it costs $10,000 and is not covered by any insurance. When she's married to a nice man who will love her and any children they bear.

Or she can pursue the relationship with the guy, get hitched, and then have kids. Or maybe she could wait and adopt. Insurance doesn't cover adoption, it is a lengthy and expensive process. Many jobs give you the 6 weeks of maternity leave as bonding time when you adopt but thats it. Many people who adopt go into huge debt to do so; and have already spent a ton of money on failed artifical insemination and in vitro ferilization attempts.I'm sure there are plenty of kids who would love to have a set of loving parents out there. I agree, but it's not as easy to adopt as they portray in Lifetime movies.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I agree, but it's not as easy to adopt as they portray in Lifetime movies.

Lifetime movie: Every title has a colon.:biggrin1:

 

[dolfette]

how could anyone plan to use a child as nothing more than a pawn to bag your man?

she doesn't deserve to be a mother. not now. not ever.

being a mother means putting your childs needs above your own desires.

 

[D_Deceptivus Wrongpeter]

Yep, I saw this up close and personal a few years ago. A good buddy of mine had an "Iffy" relationship with "Jane". It was not an even match ... he was a good guy, she was a user. Eventually he wanted out and was probably dropping hints or subliminals that she picked up on and guess what? She turns up pregnant.

They never got married, but he lives in the appartment across the hall from her and the child. And when if he steps out of line the threatens to withhold visitation rights etc ...

 

[Principessa]

NJQT, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings about that; it's just that the way my friend's GF abused it what with having 4 kids all by different fathers and making no attempt to get a job or better herself was the sole reason I didn't approve of general assistance/welfare mothers. It wasn't meant to insult or put down anybody here, so I apologize to you if I did. I consider you a good person, I'd like to think you're a friend, and I mean no ill will towards you.
Chuck, apology accepted as I'm sure you and a few others noticed you touched a really raw nerve.

It should be noted I have been the person at the grocery store who was annoyed at the woman, in front of me, with food stamps for slowing the line down. Now that I am the reason for the line being slowed. I have a whole different perspective. Karma is a bitch sometimes. :tongue:

Not precisely in keeping with the theme of the thread, but certainly related, would be a trend I've noticed with a decent handful of my friends. I'm seeing couples with inherent and insurmountable compatibility issues that try to solve their fundamental differences by pushing the relationship to the next serious level.
Example:
Boyfriend: "We've been fighting a whole bunch lately."
Girlfriend: "Yup, we definitely don't see eye to eye on much these days."
Boyfriend: "Maybe if we got married it would bring us closer. Look at how Craig and Jen get along."
Girlfriend: "OK. Sure."
Fast forward a year:
Wife: "Why can't we have one day where we don't bicker at each other?"
Husband: "I don't know, maybe it's job stress or something."
Wife: "I'll bet if we had a child it would give us somewhere to focus our energy together."
Husband: "I was thinking the same thing honey."
Fast forward two more years (and two children):
Wife: "I fucking hate you."
Husband: "No shit. Living with you is no joy either."

I wish I was kidding. No wonder divorce lawyers own yachts and drive Mercedes. Business is good.
I've seen this happen numerous times as well. There should be some sort of test or license that prevents people like this from inflicting their stupidity on humanity.
I met a woman who couldn't understand why she was having marital problems. It turns out she didn't have a marriage, as I undertsand it, she had a business contract; and it was in dire need of renogiation. She married her husband because she and her child from a previous marriage needed health insurance. He married her because he was divorced and had custody of two young daughters and they needed a mother. They had fun together and good sex so they married. They had a pre-nup that stipulated the things I mentioned above. Isn't it funny that one more kid and 15 years into the marriage they are having problems? :biggrin1: I'm only shocked they didnt seek counseling sooner.

Let me start by saying that this is not directed at NJQT as such - but her reply provided a nice base to start this discussion from.

With this I agree. Even for me - that has no actual wish to have and rear children - I can still at times get a bit sad to know that I'll never experience the feeling of being pregnant. To have a life growing inside, to see and register the changes in my own body.

This in itself is pure biology as far as I'm concerned - stronger around the time I ovulate, weaker at other times - the cycle itself is quite clear. But - and that's the major differentiator for me - I have no urge whatsoever to actually see myself in a mothering role after the child would be born - raising, taking care of, providing for, playing with. For me it is a pure biological 'curiosity' if you so wish - what would it feel like. That is a HUGE difference before you and I. And I dare say most women I have encountered or with whom I friends. The only thing I can ever recall wanting to do since I was a little girl was be a wife and mother.

Would I like to experience it? Yes. But putting a child into this world just to satisfy a biological curiosity without having an interest and a burning desire to then actually provide for and raise that child. No thanks - that's a recipe for disaster - both for myself and for that potential child.
I agree 100%, a baby is not a science experiment. A child is a lifelong commitment. I have great respect for you for realizing this and taking the necessary precautions.

Now, this is where my big beef is. To reduce women (and men) to just being here for procreation is in my world to minimize us beyond what is good for us. To say that our most important purpose on this earth is to further mankind by producing offspring is in a way akin to putting us on the same level as animals. Eat, sleep, fuck and bring children into this world.

To me that reasoning takes away the the characteristic that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom - our brain, our ability to create other things, our inventivness, our drive to further ourselves, our logical thinking, our reasoning and all those other factors that are unique to man.
Let's not forget opposable thumbs and the ability to create weapons of mass destruction. :tongue: Sorry, that was a lame attempt at levity. :biggrin1:

To say that a woman can't live a fulfilling life and find meaning in it without giving in to the biological urge to have children is to me a foreign way of reasoning. That reasoning reduces me to a womb on two legs - disregard the fact that I have a functioning brain and that I enjoy all the other aspects of life as I know it - my career (and no, it's not a substitute for having children...), my friends, my lovers, my ambitions to see and experience as much of this world as I am able to before I finally kick the dust, my hours on the golf course, etc.

<irony>But I don't have any children so I can't be satisfied with life because we all know that women just want to have children...</irony>

Personally I've never met the attitudes described in the latter part of the quoted post. I'm today 37 - have never, ever met the condescending attitude, the whispers, any type of shunning. Curiosity from others on why I've made the choice I have - but never questioning, never pity, never someone feeling sorry for me - not even as a hint or something I've vaguely registered. Perhaps it's a cultural thing - I'm not entirely sure about that as I've spent my fair share of time in the US too and never registered the attitude there either. Wow, you are lucky!
It actually started well before my 30's I remember being at a family event when I was about 21 or 22 and having an older cousin ask if I was a lesbian. I was aghast...my chin on the floor, as I sputtered that "No, I am not a lesbian." Seeing the shock on my face my cousin said, "well I just figured since you don't have kids or a man or anything the only logical reason is you must be gay. Afterall you are smart, thin, and pretty." I was then assured it was okay to be gay, because my cousin Clarence's son was gay too. She then scurried back to another clique of cousins to report her findings. This same cousin is still convinced that the best way to get me hitched would be to put me in a short skirt on the 50 yardline at a Philadelphia Eagles game. As if!

Getting back to the original topic of this thread. As badly as I want a baby, I would never, ever trick fuck a man to get one. That is morally and ethically against everything I am or for that matter have ever been.

va_lk_yr_ie, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinions so eloquently. I was wrong to write my feelings in such a matter as to make them seem as if all women could possibly think the way I do. I think it's important that the men and women of LPSG understand that not all women are the same on this or any issue.

 

[DC_DEEP]

<...>
Getting back to the original topic of this thread. As badly as I want a baby, I would never, ever trick fuck a man to get one. That is morally and ethically against everything I am or for that matter have ever been.

I have no doubt about this... especially keeping in mind that women who would trick fuck a man, do so to get the man, not the baby. The baby is simply a byproduct.

 

[dongalong]

I have 2 lovely nieces and a not so happy brother thanks to a devious, trick fucker. My parents hate her!

 

[cofrader]

My best friend was trick fucked.
He is a really good and decent man.
He chosen to have the baby, even suspecting that she did it on propouse (but he thought that wasnt the babys fault).
He did a lot for that baby, he got married, he bought a house and when the situation was unable to resist he got divorced.
He really regrets about ever meeting his ex but he gives everithing for that douther.

For me she is worse than a whore, because she used an inocent child her child to try to get money.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Part II of that story is that the guy who's sister felt the need to check me out and, "tell me the deal." Well I broke up with him because he was an alcoholic, and crazy! When I said I wanted to take a break, he started hiding my birth control pills and telling me how cute I would look pregnant . . . at 19.5!! He thought if I got pregnant I wouldn't leave him. HA! :biggrin1: I dumped him on Pearl Harbor Day 1986 at the Ocean County Mall.

So HE tried to Trick Fuck you! LOL I'm so glad you escaped unscathed.

She is scared of losing her baby boy. He could be 50, it doesn't matter. Mommy does not want to be replaced or worse yet bumped down a spot in his heart. You haven't mentioned his dad. Where is he? Is she telling him this because she trick fucked some guy and that's how he came to be? That is quite often the case.

Well, she's married to his father, and the two are very well matched for each other as polar opopsites. She is very high strung, and prone to worry. He is very laid back and prefers to wait and see. HOWEVER: My man's 22nd birthday was in September, but he sent a card for their 23rd Anniversary this March. Those dates sound okay to you? All my homegirls are getting married next August. How many people get married in March?

I don't normally quote scripture, but isn't there a verse in the King James Version about the sins of the father being revisited upon the son.

I think it this case, it's just more of a mother who won't let go. Both of her babies left the island to go be grown ups last year and she is out of her mind.

Good luck tomorrow. I'm sure I won't be the only person to remember you in prayer today.

 

[D_Aston Asstonne]

touchy subject...22 years ago i was involved with a 32 year old lady.supposedly she was single,later i disvcovered she was in fact married to a service man who,wanted kids but couldnt produce.i guess you could call it a trick fuck.as she left it up to her best friend to break the shitty news,and tell me the REAL TRUTH!luckily,i never saw her again.