Friday was shaping up to be pretty goddam shitty, so I hopped in a car with Faina and went to Alexa's party. Something about Bastille Day. It's like the Fourth of July for French people or something. Real dumb. So anyway, I went to that not expecting much, and it seriously delivered. I mean, I knew I didn't like Alexa much already - she's fat and unattractive and selfish and generally just not the kind of person I like spending a lot of time with - but all the people she invited to the party sucked too. It was surreal. I was just standing there thinking wow, I am so much better than all of you. But then I realized that I was making Faina unhappy, so I figured what the hell, I'll get shit-faced and see what happens. So I poured a big glass of gin and chugged it as fast as I could. It was disgusting. After that I got a little tipsy and started being a jackass (albeit an entertaining jackass). I sat around in a circle with a bunch of people I didn't particularly care for and chugged a bunch of Kahlua before grabbing Faina and heading out. She got us home without getting lost once, can you believe it? So after we got home, I started rambling drunkenly about how I was going to post online about how drunk I was. So I did that and then we watched Scrubs until I passed out. When we woke up it was like fuckin' ninety degrees or some shit. Apparently the A/C had busted overnight. It sucked balls. So we ditched and went to hang out at her house for a bit before going out to eat pancakes with Aaron, who was free for the first time in awhile. The pancakes were delicious and small. I was able to eat four of them at a time, even. There was more, but I gotta go watch a movie soon before it gets started without me, so suffice it to say that eventually I wound up hijacking someone's camera and taking Myspace-style pictures of myself in a mirror. And goddam I'm beautiful. I mean, look at me. Jesus. So anyways, yeah. I'm in a good mood. First, say . . . five people who PM me get the link to a nudie pic that I took. Unless I don't like you, in which case I'll link you to a picture of tubgirl. It's a chance you take, gentlemen. Later!