Trouble Cumming During Sex

[damien6663]

Hey everyone, i was just wondering if any1 had a similar problem or some advice they can help me with. I have alot of trouble reaching an orgasm and ejaculating during intercourse, it feels really good and i love the intimacy with a partner.

I have had trouble getting off during sex since i lost my virginity at 15. I have no problems cumming when i am masterbating and it usually only takes me 10 minutes or so. I recently spent 3 days with a girl, and did not cum in probably 10+ sex sessions, im beginning to think it is a problem, and my partner is losing confidence that she can not satisfy me.

sorry that was long, any advice?

 

[hung]

Relax. Enjoy the moment and take many moments before you get into insertive intercourse.

I frequently enjoy "doggy style" and my Bride plays with the balls. I also tickle the area around her vagina with my fingers/thumb.

All of this is really a neat turn on and I can shoot out a load in just a few minutes, i. e. 3 or 4, or we can take it really slow and the action does not happen for many, many minutes. I do believe my best was about 20 minutes.

I hope this helps.

Sex should always be fun.

 

[damien6663]

yeah it still is fun and feels good, but im talking i can be hitting it hard for over an hour and not feel anywhere near orgasm. I wish i could cum in 20 minutes.

 

[jacko_9]

i can sometimes be the same, you barebacking or using rubbers?

 

[Seadonkey08]

I have the same problem man. I have been sleeping with a very hot girl and all of the sudden I can't ejaculate during sex. She give me head and everything. It is frustrating because she is thinking there is something wrong but I can't come up with any reason why it's not happening.
There have been a few times that I've been able to cum, but it's been a very small amount and it doesn't have the same feeling as I am used to having when I release.
I've been trying to take some supplements like zinc and licethin as well as drinking a lot of water. I just started yesterday, so I'll see how that works out.
I'm starting to think it's a mental block more than physical though, since it's never happened with other girls, and there is somewhat of a history with this girl that makes the idea of us hooking up a little weird anyway.

I'd like to hear any feedback or advice.

 

[D_Drew Peacock]

If you have no problems cumming by yourself, and only with a partner then it is not physical, it is psychological. Your body works just fine without the pressure or the presence of another person, therefore it can not be your body. Your brain is sabotaging you. You will find it helpful to pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling. There is something going on up there that is affecting what is or is not happeing "down there." You may or may not need to talk to somebody about this, but lots of people have found a bit of talk therapy useful in overcoming mental blocks. It could well be something from your past, but it could also be something in the present causing the problem.

If the problem persists, see a professional. Your doctor can refer you. Don't wait until it gets worse or destroys a relationship. Ask for help if you need it.

 

[damien6663]

I am sleeping with her bareback....i think it is very possible that it could be a mental thing.

I very much am enjoying the sex though, i just cant reach the orgasm, this has always been somewhat of a problem with me, where i wouldnt cum everytime during sex, but this past weekend i had sex with a girl like 10x in 3 days, and did not cum once.

I used to tell myself wearing a condom, or drinking to much were the reason most of the time. But i slept with her sober all but one time, and never with a condom.

It sucks because she felt like she could not please me.

 

[95LSv]

I also have more trouble cumming during sex than when masturbating... I read that its because some men squeeze too hard when they masturbate... try masturbating less or even not doing it for a while and see if it helps

 

[D_Odipherous Pitts]

I too often have trouble cumming while having intercourse. It seems as I've grown older I have lost a lot of my sensitivity, although I have never been one prone to premature ejaculation and have always been able to fuck for a very long time. Many women just couldn't take it for very long and would start to dry out.

It seems that through oral sex I can cum a lot faster, although the person has to really know what they are doing too. With masterbation you control the speed and tightness so you know what feels best for you. My wife can please me orally very well but her pussy just doesn't seem to have the same tightness or feeling that I get from oral sex with her.

I have had probably only one female partner that had an awesome feeling pussy. The rest felt good but not great as this one did. With her I couldn't last as long but still much longer I think than the average man. I think I could go on for an hour or more if she could stay wet and I could stay hard.

Good oral sex can last from 1 to 20 minutes depending upon how sexed up I am and the skill of the giver. Sometimes it is just the moment or location that can give a new feeling to the same experience.

And to make matters worse, I suffer from "retrograde ejaculation" as a result of a prostrate biopsy which makes me produce little or no ejaculation during an orgasm. This is really frustrating for me and makes me feel less of a man because I don't produce the big loads that I used to.

My orgasms are, and always have been, VERY earth shattering experiences and have surprised and even frightened some partners because they thought I was haven't a heart attack or some sort of seizure when I was cumming. I tend to get very vocal and physical and most of my sexual partners really enjoy it when I cum. When I can't finish off like that they at times tend to feel they have failed when it is me, rather than them being responsible. They especially like when I cum inside them because I bury my thick cock deep inside them and they shudder at (the once) potent ejaculations. While I may still orgasm it just isn't quite the same. The feeling is still there but with something feeling missing from the experience.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

And to make matters worse, I suffer from "retrograde ejaculation" as a result of a prostrate biopsy which makes me produce little or no ejaculation during an orgasm. This is really frustrating for me and makes me feel less of a man because I don't produce the big loads that I used to.

From just a biopsy? That pisses me off! I hope everything was ok. If not, I would run like hell from the son of a bitch that performed the biopsy.

 

[D_Odipherous Pitts]

From just a biopsy? That pisses me off! I hope everything was ok. If not, I would run like hell from the son of a bitch that performed the biopsy.

I had very high PSA numbers and they did not find any swelling of my prostrate so they assumed it was cancerous... which the biopsy should it was not... it was just bad PSA numbers.

What they fail to tell you before you go for a physical is not to have an ejaculation within 48 hours or longer because that can affect the PSA number. I asked them to take another test but they refused!

The prostrate biopsy is VERY intrusive. They stick 12 needles through the prostrate to remove samples from throughout the prostrate to look for cancer. The end result for some of us is retrograde ejaculation.

It sucks!

 

[DavidXL]

This happened to me sometimes when I was younger and new to sex with anyone other than myself. I read somewhere that when you masturbate, you become more accustomed to the level of friction your hand generates, especially when dry. A vagina is warm, soft, and moist and generates less friction than your hand. When you masturbate, use a lubricant and don't rub so hard. Your body will become used to a different type of pressure, and you'll probablly cum easier during intercourse. It worked for me. Good luck!

 

[tray22nc]

I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to perform and in doing so, you block your ability to actually enjoy it (as much as possible) and then you aren't able to reach orgasm/ejaculation. Try and relax, take more time with foreplay, maybe have a glass of wine or a beer before hand to help you take some stress off of yourself. Try not to concentrate on your own orgasm, and focus your attention on making HER orgasm. Try to give her as much pleasure as you can without thinking about cumming, and your own pleasure and eventually orgasm should "cum" naturally. If you keep psyching yourself out, you aren't going to enjoy sex with her at all, and we all know that sex should be pure, unadulterated fun!
Best of luck man! Let us know how things turn out!

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

I had very high PSA numbers and they did not find any swelling of my prostrate so they assumed it was cancerous... which the biopsy should it was not... it was just bad PSA numbers.

What they fail to tell you before you go for a physical is not to have an ejaculation within 48 hours or longer because that can affect the PSA number. I asked them to take another test but they refused!

The prostrate biopsy is VERY intrusive. They stick 12 needles through the prostrate to remove samples from throughout the prostrate to look for cancer. The end result for some of us is retrograde ejaculation.

It sucks!

Dude, this just make me more You underwent an unnecessary medical procedure that left you sterile. It seems to me that is medical malpractice.
Don't mean to hijack the thread or get off topic (You can PM me if you wish) but may I ask what year this happened? Male sexual ignorance from the medical community has been a sore spot for me since the mid 90's. Every man I meet who talks prostate (whether for BPH or cancer) I encourage to get at least *3 independent* opinions. The PSA test has been controversial for producing as many false positives as false negatives for at least 10 years. I always wait at least 3 full days after sex before a PSA test and if it would ever spike I would insist on another test, even if I had to pay for it myself. Another thing they don't tell you is that if cancer is present, all these biopsies can cause it to spread like wild fire.
The good news is that there are now "nerve sparing" procedures for men who undergo prostatectomy due to BPH. Unfortunately, the medical community still considers BPH as a normal fact of aging instead of a hormonal imbalance which is really what it is. The current meds for it do not address the real cause. I' ll shut up now but I am sincerely sorry you had to go through that. :frown1: