Trouble Getting A Girlfriend

[D_m0onyhpuioh]

Hey everyone,

So I don't know really where else to turn except for here.

Alittle about my self. I'm an upper freshmen who goes to school in Queens, New York. I've had two girlfriends in my life but the relationships didn't last long.

I'm not looking for someone to have sex with but someone to actually build a relationship with. Someone genuinely nice and fun to be with. I just don't know what I seem to be doing wrong.

Any ideas?

Thanks for reading this and thanks for the help.

 

[Willifred]

Stop looking. Go out, have fun, socialise and soon enough you'll find the perfect person.

 

[D_Dick_Wacker]

Even if you're absolutely hideous you can still get a gf.
The biggest part is to TALK TO THEM.

You need to be sociable and have many topics you can discuss, and give you opinion on. If you lack the courage to chat up a gal then practice at the supermarket while you wait in line. You can even talk to the older ladies as it will not be threatening and you can practice your social skills.

You have to put yourself in situations where you've bound to encounter/talk to women. Clubs/bars come to mind first although there you most likely won't find long term relationship material. If you're still in college/university that would be the best place to start. Chat up a girl about homework, class. Ask to study together or in a group, etc.

 

[redbear52]

I think women tend to put up their defenses automatically when approached in public by guys at supermarket, laundromats, coffee shops, malls, etc. Some women might go to a club or bar deliberately to hook up with a guy casually, but that isn't what you are looking for.

I would try to engage in some type of communal or social activity that might allow you to meet women over a period of time in a non-threatening environment. Perhaps join a club, take a spinning, yoga or pilates class, or maybe an evening course at a community college on a topic that is of interest to you. If you meet a girl there you will already have a common interest to talk about.

 

[11ish]

be yourself, seriously, dont want to have a relationship based off a fake you. and by having a job, college, and so on, while being social will net you lots of relationships with men and women as friends or more.

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

Three words will get you scoring fast with the ladies: volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.
Although there are men volunteers, most of them (depending upon the field of endeavor), are women.

Women will admire your admirable qualities and come up to you, literally throwing themselves at you.

Good luck and let us know how you made out.

 

[rtg]

Three words will get you scoring fast with the ladies: volunteer, volunteer, volunteer.
Although there are men volunteers, most of them (depending upon the field of endeavor), are women.

Women will admire your admirable qualities and come up to you, literally throwing themselves at you.

Good luck and let us know how you made out.

+1

 

[OhWiseOne]

If you are sending out vibes of doubt, insecurity etc. the ladies will pick up on it. They sense that stuff believe it or not.
Try to project confidence and most importantly that you are not sizing them up as a companion.
As a final note. As previous posts have said don't use the bar scene. Find other social avenues to pursue.

 

[D_m0onyhpuioh]

Thanks everyone. That's really helped so far. Ill let you guys know how everything goes.

If you guys of anymore advice for me let me know.

 

[hud01]

Talk to them...you do not need to score with every woman. Be nice, be funny. Really listen, don't fake it. Women meet jerks every day, if you are nice more women will like you. I sense you are not a bad boy type, so let the women who want a bad boy go. Go to places and/or do things you enjoy.

I remember one time there was a beautiful girl running an outdoor charity event in NYC. It was cold, so I went down the street and got her a cup of coffee.....There was no motive, but to help her....You should have seen the look on her face.

 

[tanstaafl16]

It's a hassle if you are not the most social person. I was always forced by my parents into social situations and was not allowed to develop on my own. I feel that I ended up awkward in social situations. Also, I work in an industry were ass kissing is the norm and I refuse to suck up.

It's one of the reason why I am a gamer. I did join zogsports in NYC to try to meet new people, but I felt like an oddball as most of the people were very new to the city while I have been living here for a while.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I usually give the same advice to all people looking for a more serious relationship. Do the things you like to do most whether they seems weird or whatever in a social setting. You will naturally meet similar people (including women, of course). You'll also find you'll have a lot in common with your future SO.

 

[D_m0onyhpuioh]

Thank you again everyone. All of the advice has been great.

If you guys have anymore advice, let me know.

 

[hud01]

Just to expand. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, Practice, Practice. Try talking to women in non stressful situations. Talk to girls you have no intention of dating.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I like to remind guys that women and girls are also human beings. They are not some alien species! ;-) Most women have the same hopes and dreams that men do. Find someone who can appreciate who you are.

 

[baggage]

Try Craigs List

 

[B_ILIW]

Dating in my view is not meant to be that difficult. Yes, the usual variables of looks, personality, etc. apply, but I simply think to be oneself, be confident, and all will fall into place.

Talk to women, as many as possible, if not just at the outset to build up social skills. Then, spot out a woman and build a rapport, ask her out, and see where it goes from there.