trouble getting my girl in the mood

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by kazak1225, Aug 4, 2010.

  1. kazak1225

    kazak1225 Member

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    so lately ive been having trouble getting my girlfriend in the mood. due to the fact that she has a 2 year old child it is very hard to be spontanious. it seems everything i used to do to turn her on isnt working and now im at the point where i need some new moves or ideas. massages and scented oils and kissing her neck and ears used to do the trick, then it just stopped working for her.

    besides the problems turning her on we have a very good relationship. we treat eachother well and talk alot. im just at the point where i dont know what to do. anything that turns you or your your girl on would be helpful advice to me. please anything at all will help. maybe describe what you like and i could try it on her. we dont get much time away from the toddler so im in a tricky situation. we have toys and stuff im just looking for something that i could do to get her juices flowing. thank you for reading and i hope to hear some feedback.
     
  2. helgaleena

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    Do some of her housework. She's probably tired out by the 2 year old.

    And also: Think of new places to make love the tot can't find easily!
     
  3. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Has she got somebody who can look after the toddler for her,even if only for a few hours?

    I have 6 kids,3 of which were all born within 11 months so i know the toddler situation VERY well.Having my husband look after them whilst i had a lovely hot bubbly bath with candles dotted around the tub felt lovely for me....

    For that time i was Natasha and not mummy.

    Also,the thing i really love is having my hair brushed,it got me going,well it still does,if my hubby brushes my hair for me.
     
  4. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    Hehe...I have heard that the man doing housework can be foreplay for some women.

    I’m afraid I don’t really have any suggestions that will be helpful to you, since the things that turn me on may not be the best idea with most women. But I’ll share some of them anyway.

    1) I get very easily turned on by the sight of my husband’s cock, especially when it is erect. I love looking at cocks, and his most of all. Often all it will take to arouse me is him taking down his pants and offering me his cock to suck or whatever. But this may be a bad first step for most women -- I’m sure other women on this forum will let you know.

    2) I enjoy a bit of role play; me being totally naked while he is still totally dressed, and him ordering me to hold positions that expose me to his gaze and touch. While I stay in these positions (the best one is probably face down on my elbows and knees with my butt and pussy elevated) he can touch me or finger me or even spank me, and I am not supposed to move. This makes me very hot.

    3) Wearing sexy clothes can make me hot. I like to wear a short chemise with no panties, so that when I sit in a chair, my pussy is in direct contact with the seat, and I can feel the air on my bare pussy when I walk around. Feeling exposed like this can get me in the mood very quickly.

    4) Spankings usually turn me on, especially over-the-knee. Most of the time my husband doesn’t spank me very hard; just enough to have me feel a bit of a sting and for my ass to build up redness and heat as he spanks me. Again, it is feeling exposed and submissive to this treatment that turns me on the most, I think.

    5) Watching or looking at porn can quickly turn me on. I like BDSM porn such as that found on kink.com and sometimes my husband and I will watch something together before having sex. A few times he has tied my arms to my chair or behind my back, and⁄or put a small vibrator in my panties so I am being stimulated as I watch. In addition to watching videos, I also like still pictures of Domination⁄submission or even non-BDSM photos, especially photos of cocks. Looking at people’s galleries on LPSG does turn me on.

    So, after all that, I will say that if your girlfriend is at all submissive or voyeuristic at heart, she may enjoy some of the things I enjoy; if she is not, more traditional methods may be in order.
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    It sounds to me like a combination of exhaustion and routine. She's exhausted, and your "moves" are routine, like some sort of sex script. Help her with her responsibilities, send her to take a nap while you hang out with the two year-old, or arrange a sitter and take her somewhere fun for a couple of hours. And don't treat sex like it's a script where action A is followed by actions B, C, and D.
     
  6. Enid

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    My own personal advice: Do NOT let her pick up on your anxiousness to make it happen. It will likely be a huge turn-off.

    It's like how orgasms can be tricky for women -- when your partner is right there, with the whole "Did you come yet? Did you come yet??" face the orgasm can magically just evaporate because of all the pressure to perform.

    Also those who suggested doing some daily chores & things like that, those are good suggestions. She has a young child, she is likely soooooo physically worn out on a day-to-day basis. So help her out a bit so she's less physically tired. Then maybe she'll be more open to super happy good fun time.
     
  7. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

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    Maybe buy her a sexy little something to wear in the bedroom. Wrap it up and give it to her in the morning and let her know that a fun evening is in order. Picking up dinner will also help relieve some evening stress. And if she is only 2 then bedtime is early and you will be able to take a bubble bath, or massage, whatever she enjoys! Good luck!
     
  8. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

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    If the daughter is only 2! hehe
     
  9. Riven650

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    As other's are saying here, she's already under a lot of pressure as a mum, so the last thing you must do is add to the pressure by making her feel bad about not feeling sexy. So, yes, do whatever you can to pull your weight around the house, but don't expect her to change overnight. My wife and I were horrified by the amount of attention the baby needed and the extent being parents drained our energy. While she was still breast feeding our son my wife felt that he'd taken over her breasts. If I touched them it felt all wrong to her, so I had to back off, and re-think my approaches. It was tough, but it's the way it goes. It took us a long time to start really enjoying sex again.

    Your wife might be feeling unsexy because of what's happened to her body (eg. stretch marks, etc.) as well as what the demands of motherhood have done to her life. There are hormonal changes too. It can get a woman down. Post natal depression can last a long time. Just try to be helpful and cheerful. Try to help her go out and get some fresh air. Take her to the park and play with the toddler where she can sit and watch and relax a bit. The three of you could go swimming.

    But when the child's sleeping and you get a little time to yourselves, talk to her about your first date with her, and the reasons you fell for her, and make sure she knows that you love her more than ever. Run her a bath. Make her a meal. Glass of wine? Put on some smooth music. Massage her feet with a little coconut oil. If she's tired (she probably is) tuck her up in bed and kiss her forehead. Go down and do the dishes. Use that bath then climb in with her and DONT try to have sex. She might roll over and take hold of your cock. But if she's really tired, she might not - this time. But next time.....
     
  10. kazak1225

    kazak1225 Member

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    thanks everyone for the advice. it is much appreciated. im sure one or more of these things will help. she says shed like me 2 be more aggressive. im a pretty mellow guy, so any pointers on agressive sex would also help. i dont wanna hurt her or anything. most of the girls ive been with liked " lovey sex" so im kinda a noobie when it comes to rough sex. any tips?

    thanks again everyone.
     
  11. cbrmale

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    You should talk through what you call rough sex with your girlfriend before you attempt it, as most women in their twenties aren't often into it. Some of the things Belly_Dancer wrote are a bit like what my wife and I do, especially the spankings, only I use a leather whip on her (she can be naughty sometimes).

    What might work for you is something beyond scented oils. Grabbing her, especially her arse, and whispering some dirty talk like 'You're so hot, you make me hot and horny; I'd love to fuck you later. Really fuck you hard'. Extended foreplay, hours before the event. See how that something like that goes as a start. (if you use words like that, you're going to have to follow it up with the deed of fucking her hard too, maybe you on top and telling her how hot she is and how much she turns you on.)
     
  12. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    In case you haven't figured it out, women have biorhythms that ebb and flow. Sometimes they last days, sometimes months, and every so often years! Seriously! With a 2-year old I know I was celibate for more than a couple of years, of course, ex-hubby crapped out about that time, so that just added to the ennui.

    So if you're looking for immediate gratification I'm just preparing you that that might not be possible. But if you're willing to make an investment in future contentment anything you do to make her life better might pay off huge later on.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    Looking after one two year old isn't that hard, although it depends on whether she's working, what childcare arrangements, and things like that. Running around here, there and everywhere is quite hard, and this is something we men can assist with a lot.
     
  14. Mike7

    Mike7 New Member

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    If she can get coverage to watch the baby at grandmas house then try a dedicated 'date night'. Dress up a little and go out on the town and have fun and flirt with each other.
     
  15. Patchos

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    Really??????
     
  16. cbrmale

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    Yes, really, our two now adult children were once two years old. My son had some bad illnesses and was in and out of hospital when my daughter was a baby, but we coped. Many of us have been parents, you know, and we know that for normal and healthy children, it's not that hard.
     
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