Trouble In A Really Nice Place

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Wonderboy, Nov 5, 2006.

  1. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Hola amigos, amigas.

    I was until...well this morning having a great relationship with a beautiful girl.

    We woke up this morning, she didn't want sex and hardly kissed me or cuddled at all...except when watching Purple Rain, which I LOVED btw (so did she).

    Anyway, that was because she was hungover, had a headache and/or wasn't in the mood. Tonight she said it was because she didn't want the relationship to be 'just sex'. I told her it wasn't. And that I don't love Prince more than her. I said 'I admire Prince, I adore you'. Which she liked, then she said I'm "hard to read" because apparently sometimes I'm indifferent, others 'mean' and (I think mostly) nice/sweet.

    I was off with her because she was off with me this morning...although only very slightly, I still would try for a kiss etc.

    Anyway it comes to light tonight that she's talking to other guys on MSN...'yummy Italian stallion' was mistakenly sent to me. That upset me a little, because I really like this girl. Contrary to popular belief or her thinking, I DON'T talk to ANY other women, hardly any other people, on MSN.

    She said she talks to them because I never give her my 'full attention'. Which I found a bit strange. I told her sometimes I'm reading or writing etc. She has mentioned attention a lot. I don't mind attention from other guys but its how she handles it. From what she's said and other things, I think she enjoys it and encourages it rather than deflects and avoids it (from other men). I reply to her as fast as I can, I don't like to not reply for ages if possible because its ignorant.

    So now I'm wondering what to do...she has fallen from grace, and now because of that seems to be vehement that I am talking to other girls etc which just isn't the case.

    So what do I do:

    Stay with her because I like her and see how it goes
    Stay with her because now I have no respect/deep feelings for her, but because the sex is good and we'll have a weekend together soon
    Dump her
    Other (please state)

    Sorry for the long post but this is bothering me.
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I warned you buddy. WE talked about how you have to be careful and that you fall for ladies fast.:rolleyes:

    If you wish this to be something, you need to talk with her. Ask her why she feels this way, and ask her what she wants this relationship to be/become. Maybe she is just looking for a reason to commit to you.
    Talk with her. Tell her your feelings.
     
  3. Gillette

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    How do you feel about her? The first two reasons you mention for staying are quite different.

    It sounds like you find her as difficult to read as she finds reading you to be, discussing that with her might help her to open up to you.

    On the flip side, however, just how much attention does she need? Has she told you what she expects from you. If so does it seem reasonable to you?

    Then of course there is the MSN issue. Have you established yourselves as being in a monogamous relationship? If no, she can flirt with whomever she pleases. If yes, then it becomes questionable behavior. One thing I can say I've found in my own experience is that trying to turn the accusation around on you is a sure sign of a guilty conscience.

    You're justified in being bothered by this, sorry I couldn't give you a definitive answer.
     
  4. WildHoney

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    If that is even an inkling of how you are really feeling about this relationship then maybe it's time to call it a day.

    Relationships are hard work. They require ALOT of effort on both parts to work right. You're a guy, and you're young, ( yes I am generalising) your tendancies are to be selfish.

    When you have jumped into hot sex quickly, without getting to know each other a little more intimately, your going to run into a few hiccups along the way towards a more sustainable relationship.

    How much can you be bothered to work at this is probably the question I'd put to you. How much time and effort do you want to invest in her?

    :smile:

    Honey
     
  5. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    I guess we'll talk about...and the other reason/option was I'm only young so I should just have fun and not look for anything serious?

    I didn't intend it to be...but I just wouldn't like to think I'm just one of many.

    We shall talk, but yes, I am very confused *scratches chin*

    She said that I could have her all to myself, but it means nothing if I have to share her...I don't like to share.

    I put a lot of time, effort, poetry etc into girls...I should prolly stop.
     
  6. invisibleman

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    Hola amigos, amigas.

    I was until...well this morning having a great relationship with a beautiful girl.

    Yeah, great relationship with a "beautiful" girl you fell in love with because she puts out and now it is trouble in paradise because she is flirting with an "yummy Italian stallion"...a friggin' pizza?!!!

    We woke up this morning, she didn't want sex and hardly kissed me or cuddled at all...except when watching Purple Rain, which I LOVED btw (so did she).
    Kissing with morning funk ass shit breath. More great relationship tidbits...:rolleyes:

    Anyway, that was because she was hungover, had a headache and/or wasn't in the mood. Tonight she said it was because she didn't want the relationship to be 'just sex'.

    Yeah, I bet if you found another girl to fuck and she got wind of it you'd be getting it regular.

    I was off with her because she was off with me this morning...although only very slightly, I still would try for a kiss etc.
    Because you both didn't brush teeth. It's morning breath. Kissing each other with funky ass mouth isn't romantic. More great relationship tidbits. :rolleyes:

    Anyway it comes to light tonight that she's talking to other guys on MSN...'yummy Italian stallion' was mistakenly sent to me. That upset me a little, because I really like this girl. Contrary to popular belief or her thinking, I DON'T talk to ANY other women, hardly any other people, on MSN.
    Oh, really.:rolleyes: She sent you a pizza online. Why that bitch! I'd be upset. I wouldn't want to eat that fattening shit either. More great relationship--Hallmark Card type shit here.

    She said she talks to them because I never give her my 'full attention'. Which I found a bit strange. I told her sometimes I'm reading or writing etc. She has mentioned attention a lot. I don't mind attention from other guys but its how she handles it. From what she's said and other things, I think she enjoys it and encourages it rather than deflects and avoids it (from other men). I reply to her as fast as I can, I don't like to not reply for ages if possible because its ignorant.
    Maybe you guys are out of sync. Nothing wrong with splitting up. Some relationships are too great.

    So now I'm wondering what to do...she has fallen from grace, and now because of that seems to be vehement that I am talking to other girls etc which just isn't the case.
    In such great relationships, you gotta deal with falls from gratitudes and talking with women. The women on MSN tell me that a 'yummy Italian stallion' is an "thick Sicilian style pizza with a lot of Italian sausage, asiago/mozzarella cheeses and marinara". They say it is delicious.
    I prefer Sesame Chicken on a bed of edamame, tossed watercress salad with warmed cranberry and walnut vinaigrette dressing and a Sapporo. So let them eat that fattening shit. :smile:

    So what do I do:

    1. Stay with her because I like her and see how it goes.
    Great relationships are always based on "like". Things are the only things that are safe to love. You can never love people.
    2. Stay with her because now I have no respect/deep feelings for her, but because the sex is good and we'll have a weekend together soon
    Great relationships where there is no respect for each other, ceased yet good sex and a upcoming holiday for more ceased yet good sex. Oh, yeah!!!!
    3. Dump her.
    WTF?! Are you kidding?! Miss the infrequent kisses at morning with each other stale funk mouths?

    4.Other (please state)

    Sorry for the long post but this is bothering me.
    WTF? Both Prince and Scott Bakula want your girlfriend's number. :eek:
     
  7. Keast4040

    Keast4040 New Member

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    I agree with Honey, these things are hard work.Also both of you must be willing to do it.If you feel that she is just going through the lines and does'nt mean them, move on.

    Also never give up who you are,sometimes you must look in alot of places,before you find what you want.
     
  8. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    She's (I'm sorry to tell you) grown disinterested and she's looking for reason to lay it on you.

    Don't invest in it any further Wonderboy.

    Save your poetry from someone who'll trully appreciate it. Sounds like it is not she.
     
  9. stretcher74

    stretcher74 New Member

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    Respectfully disagree Wildhoney. Sounds like he is infatuated/in lust with this girl. Don't know if that's particularly selfish more than run of the mill biochemical.

    What I do get from the post is that she's playing him and his emotions like a violin (or he's just a natural needy basket case)

    Fear of not being able to find another woman/sex partner or leaving a relationship keeps lots of men in relationships. It's also what keeps lots of women behaving badly and using men like this.

    Analyzing it in terms of just being "nicer" or more "understanding" won't work. I'd be really surprised if it was a real lack of sensitivity on his part. More likely too much sensitivity is the problem. She's testing to see if she can get under your skin or what you'll put up with. Testing and drama are instinctive and fun for many women.

    You failed the test by getting flustered and going all wuss.

    My advice is not to tolerate disrespect for your time, emotions, personhood or posessions. Jerk Off, Go for a walk. Go live your life. Don't be the one sitting around waiting to return an IM to prove your love to someone who is mind-fucking with you.
     
  10. WildHoney

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    I wasn't trying to make the point that she is right or he is wrong. I do not know them and wouldn't make that call.

    I was merely stating that you need to be either in the right head space as a man (ie mature enough to want it) or in mad love, to work at a long term relationship.

    They never just work....... they take work ( on both sides) no matter how ideally you are suited to each other.

    So I was saying, how much do you want to work at it right now ( as in at this time in your life) cause if you can't be arsed ...it wont work....ever.

    To make the call that women enjoy drama would be a wild generalisation. We are not the enemy, nor are we all the same. I hate drama in a relationship. I think most of the time women create drama to get attention, which more often than not, is sadly lacking in their relationship.

    Honey
     
  11. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Oh and what I forgot to add was last night she said (on MSN):

    "wish u could invite me to bed with u! lol" showing me what some other lad said to her to 'see if I care'...hmm.

    I guess we'll see what happens but I'm not really into her anymore.
     
  12. hung

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    Now, as regards your Location. As they say in Real Estate: Location, Location, Location.

    You list yourself as "High Above the Mucky Muck."

    It sounds as if you are not so high right now!!!!!!!

    May I humbly suggest that you move on. I really do not know where High Above the Mucky Muck is; but in my area the girls outnumber the boys.

    I suspect that you are probably in the same boat. Again, Move on.

    I can reflect back on my own tender youth and recall with great detail of how I was played the "fool." Yet I went on and grew up. Lust and Love is fun. Sex and Lust can also be fun, but there is a time and place for everyone to participate in everything.

    Have a great day, Wonderboy.
     
  13. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    She's text me today saying she's sorry and felt really bad last night. She said she'll make it up to me this weekend when she comes down...

    Would I be wrong to let her come see me, I mean right now I only want sex, I'm not very attached to her and I've found flaws in her (lol)...she can't want more than sex either though can she, by her actions?

    Anyway, I think I'll go along with it at least for the sex...and not expect much more.
     
  14. Hefty

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    I'm sorry, but she wants out of the relationship. All the classic signs are there, from flirting with others to accusing you of doing the same.
     
  15. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    But she's said she's coming down on Saturday, misses me and wants to cuddle etc :confused:

    Its pretty certain she'll come down this weekend...like I said it probably won't return to being a relationship, but the sex will be good :cool:
     
  16. Doc

    Doc New Member

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    Well if you keep it that way, no harm in it I guess. But it already sounds like its giving you more grief than the whole thing is worth.
     
  17. stretcher74

    stretcher74 New Member

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    Sure she can want more than sex & probably does. Does she know what she wants ? probably not. But if she wants to get more long term than a shag n' cuddle then she'll have to treat you decently,grow up and stop the gaming.
     
  18. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    Literally it would appear... :rolleyes:
     
  19. Gisella

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    :lmao:

    Cool..the inconstance is natural feelings..and I do think you were having all the passionate feelings because of the sexual passion..is natural too..

    But, Wonderboy act in a way that you are open about what you want and etc..because some women when see resistance they will start to than really get on to you and etc...if is sex that you want dont make false promisses and speak clear for her not take as double meaning...etc.

    Dont let her play games or manipulate you, using another man and etc..be cool all the way! All the relationships we have are learning grounds..learn from it...about yourself and others etc...

    Cool!!!!

    And keep expressing in writting poems and etc..love and passions are just part of feelings that inspire us...there horizon is imense !:cool: :wink:
     
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