Troubling Ejaculating while have intercourse!

[Appak]

Hey,

Im 26..... I never really ejaculated (not that i remember) inside a girl before. I always relied on Oral sex for ejaculation. Anyone know why this is happening?

To be honest, i feel much more comfortable when getting Oral Sex than I do of intercourse sex. I prefer the feeling of having someone grab their hands and use their mouth instead of a vagina........

I'm also a frequent masterbaer....so i dont know if thats a problem.... It seems that Intercourse sex is too dull and boring.... Maybe its with the same partner that is a problem? I have been in a relationship for 3 years and I love the person, but I just cant do it.....i dont know why? :S

is it the size of my penis? Is it the fact that im not confident? Is it some dysfunction? To much jerking off? possibly not attracted to my partner and want to try out other people?

Please help
Ill give up my whacking a bit if that helps...

 

[Reddhead]

The only physical issues I can think off would be from a lack of sensitivity, like from wearing a condom or even a lubrication problem.

If you're able to ejaculate from masturbation & fellatio, it sounds more like a pschological block. and that can be a bit more difficult to track down the actual problem.

The key to a psyhcological issue other than therapy could be a simple acclimatizion and breaking the block by building up to ful coital ejcatulation.
If your partner is patient with you to try the following: Try masturbating while between her legs and ejaculating on her vagina and even using your penis (before it goes flaccid) to play the semen into her vagina. Then progress to inserting just the head of your penis into her vagina right before you ejaculate. Over time, working backwards from masturbating and more to the penetration should alleviate the mental block. Granted ... this isn't a quick fix.

 

[Appak]

Thanks for the tip.

One of the problems that comes to mind is that she compares her girlfriends when it comes to us. She uses examples of her girlfriends at one point and tells me that she doesnt want me to ejaculate cause her girlfriends partners do it all the time. She is on the pill and thats not a problem.......

Also that sex for us is not spontaneous...always scheduled in a certain time.... cause we tend to not get any privacy what so ever.
I personally prefer morning sex but whenever we do it, its usually in the the evening and im sort of tired......

 

[wildwestend]

Do you alwasy wear a condom during intercourse? Have you had sex without a condom and still couldnt ejaculate?

 

[dj30905]

Thanks for the tip.

One of the problems that comes to mind is that she compares her girlfriends when it comes to us. She uses examples of her girlfriends at one point and tells me that she doesnt want me to ejaculate cause her girlfriends partners do it all the time. She is on the pill and thats not a problem.......

Also that sex for us is not spontaneous...always scheduled in a certain time.... cause we tend to not get any privacy what so ever.
I personally prefer morning sex but whenever we do it, its usually in the the evening and im sort of tired......

Sounds more psychological...Her comparisons and not wanting you to do it may be what's holding you back from doing so. Not to mention the pill doesn't always work. As for the schedule sex, that doesn't help to spice things up any. Try to find some place away from where you normally do it, not really even planning for sex, but let it happen. Even then, don't be afraid to spice things up with different techniques or incorporate the use of toys. Like Reddhead said, a gradual acclimatization may also help the situation when it comes to the need for whacking to get the sensation you aren't getting from the vadge or oral.

 

[arkfarmbear]

Different strokes for different folks!
I've been with women and men who wanted to "watch" their man shoot.
I've also been with many men who can't "finish" with any other method.
Especially with us senior citizens over 30!
Cut yourself some slack!

 

[randomed]

hey, i've got the same problems. you're not alone. not sure if you guys use a condom whenever intercourse happens but I do. I am guessing its the condom at work and i can last for 45 minutes and no where near anywhere.

I am guessing you should cut down on masturbating and let your sex drive build up and let your lady satisfy your craving. Try to be sexy with your lady and experiment different things which you guys may like but never knew you liked.

good luck...

 

[Appak]

Do you alwasy wear a condom during intercourse? Have you had sex without a condom and still couldnt ejaculate?

No! For like a year now when we have sex, we usually have it without the condom...but heres another glitch to it....

Because we may have it every 2-3 weeks and usually she may have a period....we usually have to delay sometimes....it can even be once every month if at all...... We usually fool around for the other time being..usually cuddling or oral sex and what not.....

What i found out was that when we start we go down on one another...were wet and ready. I stick my penis in and she complains about the pain so its really hard sometimes..its like im doing a virgin all the time? does the vaginal whole close in for some reason after it doesnt get sex for a while? :?

Sounds more psychological...Her comparisons and not wanting you to do it may be what's holding you back from doing so. Not to mention the pill doesn't always work. As for the schedule sex, that doesn't help to spice things up any. Try to find some place away from where you normally do it, not really even planning for sex, but let it happen. Even then, don't be afraid to spice things up with different techniques or incorporate the use of toys. Like Reddhead said, a gradual acclimatization may also help the situation when it comes to the need for whacking to get the sensation you aren't getting from the vadge or oral.

Yea, personally i found a niche if I get a table that is the same height as my pelvis so i can thrust it into her.

I also like being in the bed and holding her legs up so i can go in..but then again she doesnt like that...cause after a while her legs starts to lose blood flow.....

what else?
When she is on top of me, she doesnt really jump up and down..usually grinds her self onto my penis so in that case..... its usually doesnt have any feelings for me....... I recall my other relationship...especially in the end, she jumped on me...this one doesnt...

 

[Appak]

Different strokes for different folks!
I've been with women and men who wanted to "watch" their man shoot.
I've also been with many men who can't "finish" with any other method.
Especially with us senior citizens over 30!
Cut yourself some slack!

Lol! that is wicked....

hey, i've got the same problems. you're not alone. not sure if you guys use a condom whenever intercourse happens but I do. I am guessing its the condom at work and i can last for 45 minutes and no where near anywhere.

I am guessing you should cut down on masturbating and let your sex drive build up and let your lady satisfy your craving. Try to be sexy with your lady and experiment different things which you guys may like but never knew you liked.

good luck...

Thanks. Im glad there is other people out there like me....

Yea, personally I hope to build up my sex drive....
When you are bored and got nothing to do..you usually masterbate..raises your testosterone levels and makes you feel a little energized.....
I sometimes depend on it....so now i try to leave it aside and hope that i will possibly make such a sex drive that i just need it.....

Im also circumsized...so its hard to actually feel a good sensation...

She personally likes doggy style...

 

[Reddhead]

Thanks for the tip.

One of the problems that comes to mind is that she compares her girlfriends when it comes to us. She uses examples of her girlfriends at one point and tells me that she doesnt want me to ejaculate cause her girlfriends partners do it all the time. She is on the pill and thats not a problem.......

Also that sex for us is not spontaneous...always scheduled in a certain time.... cause we tend to not get any privacy what so ever.
I personally prefer morning sex but whenever we do it, its usually in the the evening and im sort of tired......

More pieces to a complicated puzzle. :wink:
You might also look for any common issues with other gals that you might not have 'finished' in.
Sex can definitely lose some of the 'thrill' when it's scheduled.
Try total abstinence for a while (including masturbation). Me and an ex tried to see how long we could go without totally jumping each others bones. We even had a little side wager... which led to some very frustrating teasing going on for nearly 2wks. Granted, popping the cork after 2wks was like setting a land speed record but that's where we all say "you ready to go again?!"

Kids. Work. Bills. Finances. Family. Chores. Sure the body might be on auto-pilot but sometimes the mind is riding the clutch.

Try to not let it worry you so much. Sounds like everything is in working order. Stressing over it might be adding extra pressure.

Relax and enjoy the ride Buddy. :biggrin1:

 

[big_gp35]

I didn't get off for the first few months having sex. Didn't know what did "it" for me. Never been able to cum from a blowjob. Women always take this as some sort of a challenge, why? I have no idea! It took me years (you're gonna think this is stupid) to understand that if I jerked off less, then I got off much easier when having sex. Not saying thats your problem, but try to abstain for a week and you may suprise yourself.