Trust between men

[green carnation]

These are exactly the sort of topics us men should be discussing. Boy Power! After womens liberation men were left in the dust and I thought we had not done anything towards evolving ourselves, but judging from this thread we are working away at things, on our own. Maybe we need to make a group statement and burn our jocks! Keep up the fantastic work everybody, I am proud to be a man.

 

[jumbo747jet]

Maybe we need to make a group statement and burn our jocks!

ha ha ha, good one

 

[unzipped]

Wouldn't that make Anderson Cooper show... maybe he would rip his off too?

 

[hung]

Can we be sure that Anderson Cooper wears a Jock?

Or was that the point of your comment - Unzipped?

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Personally I think equality is a good thing, and I really don't think that us men can blame women for our own shortcomings.

There are no laws preventing us men from bonding better with eachother. I think it is our own fears which stand in our way.

I think men do bond but maybe in a diferent way than they did in the past. Who knows what the best way is. I think I do it person by person. If there's a guy on campus that I feel good about, I talk to him, ask him questions and find out who he is as a person, rather than who his sports teams are. Maybe it's just the college environment but I find most guys are really open to share their lives. I think women bond better in groups but guys do better when we can feel one-on-one trust. I have to know that my buddy will love and care about me more than his own status. :smile:

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Sometimes I talk to other guys at the gym... and yeah, often they are good looking, but they also tend to look like they've got more going on than just the body or the face. I value intelligence and thoughtfulness, andthere's always that chance that one of them may turn out to be someone I'll enjoy knowing.

Certainly I get along well with my fellow male swimmers and with other men I meet in business and community activities. Somehow, though, the gym puts things in a different, more primal, not necessarily sexual, context.

Perhaps I should hit the gym now.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Met a guy last night at a social function... nice looking fellow... interesting to talk with... kept finding his eyes on me even when we were not talking to each other. It felt like it could be sexual attraction, but he's married to one of my girlfriend's friends.

Hopefully, if we are indeed going to be around each other again, we will find comraderie, bonding even, but we will also discover any sexual tension was momentary because actual sexual attraction would obviously be very complicated.

 

[rodsmith]

I agree with hungjon and 747...I try to make friends with guys when the situation presents itself and I try to get to know them better to see what we have in common. For some reason some guys are afraid to try to trust other guys....wish I knew why....

 

[RU8plusinNE?]

I do agree that a non-sexual open and honest male-to-male realationship would be benefical but are most males ready for that? In my opinion, not even close.

I am lucky enough to have a female best friend that I am able to share all my thoughts, feelings, insecurities, shortcomings and even sexual desires and confusions with, I am lucky.

I think for most men, finding a woman they trust and don't want to mount would be a good first step to finding an open and honest friendship.

As for my bi-sexualness, it's not driven by the need to chat and share cause I have that. It might be penis envy gone wild.

The actual act of sucking cock is unsatisfing compaired to seeing a big one limp and the acts taken till full erection.

I do apprechiate you gauging the subject though, us open, honest and emotional males are the minority so it is great that this forum is available,. I'm so glad I tripped across this sight!

 

[Deivit100]

Hi everyone

I've been on this site for a while but this is the first time I post on a thread, I think it's a pretty interesting one.

My opinion is that we all men need to have male friends, because there are some topics that you can only talk to a male friend or maybe you can feel more comfortable talking to a male friend, I say this because there are many topics that only we men can understand and help each other just for fact of being men. I also believe that we men can get along better and be more supportive to each other than women, all my female friends have said to me that women are not trustful to each other most of the time, they say they are envious and hypocrit to each other, of course that doesn't happend on the 100% of women friendships but my female friends say that is common and they also say men can be more honest and supportive to their male friends.

My friends also say that they admire and envy the good friendship that we men can develop, so I do think it's such a shame and it's sad that sometimes we men don't have male bonding to other male because we are afraid of what people might think of us or to demostrate some kind of "wickness" for opening ourselves and talk about our feelings and having a very good relationship to another guy which is stupid to think or feel that because we all human beings need friends and people to talk to.

And let's face it, sometimes women are mean to us or take advantage of us so we have a lot to deal with women so I think we men need to be there to help each other, be supportive and to enjoy having a good friendship to another guy. So i think we shouldn't be afraid of having male bonding because there's no reason to be afraid.

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

We all need a trustworhy person, to whom we can tell everything and show our inner personality, our weaknesses, our fears and hopes.

A same sex friend can understand us better because he probably faced, or will face, similar issues, and might have a similar sensitivity towards facts of life.

Sharing all means also being opened about sexuality, without being ashamed of problems, fantasies, attractions, and your own body you can be naked with a friend, and be sure there s not sex or envy or judgment, you can speak abut your sex life and get an hardon without any fear, you can get so horny you need to beat off and do it with zero problems.

This being opened to a same sex friend does not imply bisexual tendencies, not necessarily at least. It might happen, and a real frend would be there to lsted and be supportive.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Men used to have those kinds of friendship. I've often wondered if television has gotten in the way of those types of relationships being formed. Guys used to have a really close buddy, and they'd hang out together a lot. They'd fish, hunt, play dominoes, and go off together where they could be alone, and share their feelings.

I sure wish more people would do that because as the mailman, I can't be that to them. Please stop telling me your most intimate love making problems.

 

[Smartalk]

I have to agree with all you guy's, that this is the best thread to date. I think Jumbo should be awarded the LPSG Gold Medal for his contribution. It certainly instills in me just how much our thoughts and comments are read, digested and replied to. Not just by the modurators, but all members in general.

I think we are apt to have a tendency to see things in black and white. In this case Straight - Hetro or Gay - Homo. We must realise that it is not as simple as that, there are a large scale of varying shades of grey in between. I think it's man's fear of rejection by his fellow men that causes him to suppress any feeling or action that others make see or describe as soft, feminine, bi, gay.

I think it is so so sad that individuals feel that outwardly they have to present them selves in a type cast way dictated to by society and the media. Rather being free to be the person they truly are inside. I speak from experience, having had feelings for men steming back to my youth. But back in the 50's in the UK Homosexuallity was a criminal offence, punishable by imprisonment. Thankfully I am glad to say things have changed dramatically, but taken over 50 years to do so. It was expected that you would get married, I conformed and was married for 22 years, but 22 years of living a lie. Unable to be the person I truely was inside. Until the day I could no longer suppress my inner feelings. Now again single and a openly gay and very happy. My friends have stuck by me infact I would say we were much closer than ever.

We live in a world where people think more and more of themselves than others, a world of I, me and mine. Our world has never been as affluent as it is today, yet there is more and more violence, hatred, greed. We need to learn to cherrish others become that inner person not just to others, but to ourselves also. I think that this thread has made us think about whom we are and not what people society expects of us. By being like this, people would be less on the defensive and more giving, caring and understanding of others. I'm truely heartend and encourage by the responces they have been posted with much thought and understanding. We are all agreed that there is than huge need, lets get out there and star a world trend. if your friends don't like it, then were they a true friend. Smile and the world smiles with you.

Thanks Jumbo for making us think and express our inner thoughts and feelings all we have to do now is, but it into practice. Anyone want to discuss there feelings, in total confidence, with a like minded feel free to message me

Love you all and thanks for being there It is apprecaited.

Smartalk

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

I couldn't agree more, Smartalk. I hope that this thread doesn't get drowned out by the silly ones, which seem to be very popular lately.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I couldn't agree more, Smartalk. I hope that this thread doesn't get drowned out by the silly ones, which seem to be very popular lately.

I've noticed the same thing. As time has gone bye, there are fewer threads like this particular one. I know I don't expect too much from this site any more than photos of big dicks and humorous comments. It's ok, I guess but I know I crave more communication with like-minded guys who are in touch with their feelings and know how to express themselves. Although I do belong to another site that does that as well. But I'm also somewhat bi and look for other men who are similar.

 

[Stephenmass]

I wouldn't be entirely truthful if I didn't admit to sometimes having questioned my own sexual feelings over the years, but as I have come to the conclusion that I really do not have any sexual desire for males, I have come to realise that I have a strong need for close non-sexual bonds with other men.

Jumbo, I see that this post was dug up from October of last year. But this is EXACTLY what is missing from gay friends as well as straight friends.

To exactly speak your mind, without fear of judgement or reprisal from a "best friend" would be great and I hope that I find that. Just so you know, it is just as hard to find in a gay world also because they feel you ALWAYS have ulterior motives; I do not.

I think women do have that, connecting on an emotional level. But I think it is also what sometimes leads to "catfights", knowing or thinking they know the other so well and they surprise them somehow.

And I agree, nonsexual friendships are great to have on an emotional level too. There are some things, not many, that I would not even discuss with my brother, but a male best friend, yes I probably would.

As said repeatedly in this thread, males are conditioned almost from birth to bottle up emotions. Sad commentary.

I'd love to have a friend or more that I could literally talk to about anything, literally anything, and have him trust me enough to do the same. I'd love to find a friend that if I went to an airport to pick him up, wouldn't think it gay that I hugged him upon his arrival, being glad to see him. Do I want sex with this type of friend? No. Could it evolve into something more if the motives were not there at the beginning and it developed on its own? Yes, of course. But in that case, it was a relationship built from the ground up.

You do risk the loss of a great friendship too if you take it to another level.

I understand and agree with everything you have said!

 

[D_Relentless Original]

Jumbo, I see that this post was dug up from October of last year. But this is EXACTLY what is missing from gay friends as well as straight friends.

To exactly speak your mind, without fear of judgement or reprisal from a "best friend" would be great and I hope that I find that. Just so you know, it is just as hard to find in a gay world also because they feel you ALWAYS have ulterior motives; I do not.

I think women do have that, connecting on an emotional level. But I think it is also what sometimes leads to "catfights", knowing or thinking they know the other so well and they surprise them somehow.

And I agree, nonsexual friendships are great to have on an emotional level too. There are some things, not many, that I would not even discuss with my brother, but a male best friend, yes I probably would.

As said repeatedly in this thread, males are conditioned almost from birth to bottle up emotions. Sad commentary.

I'd love to have a friend or more that I could literally talk to about anything, literally anything, and have him trust me enough to do the same. I'd love to find a friend that if I went to an airport to pick him up, wouldn't think it gay that I hugged him upon his arrival, being glad to see him. Do I want sex with this type of friend? No. Could it evolve into something more if the motives were not there at the beginning and it developed on its own? Yes, of course. But in that case, it was a relationship built from the ground up.

You do risk the loss of a great friendship too if you take it to another level.

I understand and agree with everything you have said!

Good points Stephen and i agree fully, i have a mate who is 100% straight sorry for the labelling, anyway he is brill, we hug each other and talk about allsorts,i laugh kindly if i have fluff etc on my clothes he brushes it off or straightens my tie etc, he never judges, i never judge him, we have a good bond a mans bond, he's not threatened by my sexuality and acts the same in front of people as does when on our own, he tells me he thinks the world of me and has missed me if we don't see each other for a while and vice versa, he's my mate, my trusted pal and i love him but not in love with him, if you understand me, with regards to sex, no, never and being honest that thought has never crossed my mind or his, trust him, he's my buddy.

Jumbo, go to the top of the class for this thread and thank you for your honesty with your feelings.

 

[CALAMBO]

soul seaching and expressions of friendship has been lost in the fast paced society of today...it is refreshing to read that some guys just want to have friends...and this site allows us to bounce stuff around and realize that we all need to take a few minutes and smell the roses...this has taken me many years to figure out...i have a couple of friends like the one some of you speak about...and i am going to let them know i appreciate our time together...i hope everyone can do the same...

 

[frgman]

Jumbo, you get and A+. Job well done!

 

[CUBE]

I work with almost all women (not including the students of course). The few men that I do work with are about as narrow as it gets. Even though I have a great partner, I often long for male company. I should add my partner works with many guys so he is covered. My best buddies live far away. I miss seeing them weekly...a phone doesn't always do it. I guess that is part of the reason I am here. I say all this because I think having close male friends is very important. You guys are lucky you have so many around you.