You know what, though? I can totally see why some people would feel the need to embellish themselves on here. It might be a more salient point among the men on the site, but especially on a site that's thematically geared toward our dicks, every inch may count on here even more than they would in real life, it seems.
I had a pretty strong relevation tonight -- somewhat related.
A couple of people I've talk with over IMs have had some pretty significant successes as of late. One of 'em applied to a college and did really well on the admission exam. The other one's getting an award from his undergraduate school named after him. Kudos to both. But at the same time, the way in which they both presented the good news and how I interpreted it, would suggest that they had crossed that "bragging" threshold. I'm happy for them, of course, but that happiness turned pretty ugly when I feel like they were playing a one-upsmanship game of their achievements.
I know that's a hard thing to manage because you can't always know how people will take things. I know that people might perceive me as a bit of a jerk 'cause of how I post on here, or that I'm pretty assertive and speak up for myself if I disagree with someone. I don't hold back and I'm usually not nice about it. I can accept that quality. But at the same time, I'd like to think that, no matter what I do in life, I wouldn't talk about it in ways to suggest that I'm better or more skilled or more worldly or whatever. Maybe it's an internal attempt to keep myself grounded or humble or whatever... I don't know...
Whatever the case, don't feel like you have to be something you're not or that you have to impress people in order to participate on these boards. Nobody cares about the number of your posts, your prose, or whether or not you have green stars. The fact is, you're participating in a forum that opts for inclusion and appreciates others from a diversity of backgrounds and life experiences. Love that and you will enjoy yourself here, small fry.
I had a pretty strong relevation tonight -- somewhat related.
A couple of people I've talk with over IMs have had some pretty significant successes as of late. One of 'em applied to a college and did really well on the admission exam. The other one's getting an award from his undergraduate school named after him. Kudos to both. But at the same time, the way in which they both presented the good news and how I interpreted it, would suggest that they had crossed that "bragging" threshold. I'm happy for them, of course, but that happiness turned pretty ugly when I feel like they were playing a one-upsmanship game of their achievements.
I know that's a hard thing to manage because you can't always know how people will take things. I know that people might perceive me as a bit of a jerk 'cause of how I post on here, or that I'm pretty assertive and speak up for myself if I disagree with someone. I don't hold back and I'm usually not nice about it. I can accept that quality. But at the same time, I'd like to think that, no matter what I do in life, I wouldn't talk about it in ways to suggest that I'm better or more skilled or more worldly or whatever. Maybe it's an internal attempt to keep myself grounded or humble or whatever... I don't know...
Whatever the case, don't feel like you have to be something you're not or that you have to impress people in order to participate on these boards. Nobody cares about the number of your posts, your prose, or whether or not you have green stars. The fact is, you're participating in a forum that opts for inclusion and appreciates others from a diversity of backgrounds and life experiences. Love that and you will enjoy yourself here, small fry.
ORCABOMBER: AJ, well, I applaud your bravery. You're more of a man for it. Personally, I don't judge often, if at all. I don't think worse of you. You're more than a penis.
Don't ask for my photo as evidence of mine though!
Dee, good point. I have had some good experiences, and some bad. I live by the motto "no regrets". Altough sometimes I think I do underplay my acheivements slightly, I mean, I've made a mini webcomic, I've got a second chance at my degree, I have a great wealth of friends, despite being broke, I am healthy and happy. I wont boast though, because there IS always-as far as I'm concerend- a need for self improvement.
I should be 'the perfect being' by about 2011.
Personally, I don't judge often, if at all. I don't think worse of you. You're more than a penis.Don't ask for my photo as evidence of mine though!
Dee, good point. I have had some good experiences, and some bad. I live by the motto "no regrets". Altough sometimes I think I do underplay my acheivements slightly, I mean, I've made a mini webcomic, I've got a second chance at my degree, I have a great wealth of friends, despite being broke, I am healthy and happy. I wont boast though, because there IS always-as far as I'm concerend- a need for self improvement.
I should be 'the perfect being' by about 2011.
Sounds pretty empowering to me: It's not what you do or who you are, what titles or professions you have, nor your wealth and prestige... but how you've changed and grown along the way.
Maybe I think it's better to "underplay" as a preventative measure to stay grounded. There's nothing wrong with being successful or being happy with one's station in life, whether happiness for you means six figures or a smile every morning when you wake up. Like I learned last night, it's when that gratefulness for where one is and what one does becomes a shallow and petty game of "I'm better than you!" that it becomes problematic...
It seems pretty silly to get caught up in all that; it only clouds one's judgment and involves people in this silly oneupsmanship contest. If I'm wasting my time trying to prove to someone that I'm better because of so-and-so qualifications, how the hell am I going to appreciate them in the context beyond competition? I'm instrumentalizing other people just so I can feel better about myself, when in reality, I should feel good no matter what.
Maybe I think it's better to "underplay" as a preventative measure to stay grounded. There's nothing wrong with being successful or being happy with one's station in life, whether happiness for you means six figures or a smile every morning when you wake up. Like I learned last night, it's when that gratefulness for where one is and what one does becomes a shallow and petty game of "I'm better than you!" that it becomes problematic...
It seems pretty silly to get caught up in all that; it only clouds one's judgment and involves people in this silly oneupsmanship contest. If I'm wasting my time trying to prove to someone that I'm better because of so-and-so qualifications, how the hell am I going to appreciate them in the context beyond competition? I'm instrumentalizing other people just so I can feel better about myself, when in reality, I should feel good no matter what.
Solis24: All the wisdom to be said in this case has been said already. As such:
"Damn, who the hell am I going to fantasize about now??"
Ok, whatever. This kind of thing happens and I salute the people who end the charade on their own. I even continue chatting with them afterwards.
Cheers, mate.
"Damn, who the hell am I going to fantasize about now??"
Ok, whatever.
This kind of thing happens and I salute the people who end the charade on their own. I even continue chatting with them afterwards.Cheers, mate.
aj2181: Thank you Solis.
Well what can I say other than thank you all for your understanding.
Well what can I say other than thank you all for your understanding.
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