Trying to get in to bottoming

D

deleted23394201

Guest
I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but here goes, anyway... One of the first guys I ever hooked up with wanted to fuck me. I said "ok" thinking it's what I was supposed to do. He didn't get in very far when I asked him to stop. (He did). Figuring I just needed to train my hole, a bought a dildo and lube. Tried it and was like "nope, definitely not a bottom." Well, I kinda want to be...so I tried the dildo again...Lots of lube, I eased it in slowly, relaxed, let myself breathe, and tried to adjust. I didn't try fucking myself with it, just getting used to having something in there. After a while it felt ok, no pain, just feeling like I had to take a dump. Does that feeling go away when you are actually getting fucked, or is that always how it feels? So many people say it feels amazing, but I have not yet gotten anywhere near enjoying the sensation. Any helpful suggestions would be welcome (and no, I don't need to hear how great it would be to have YOUR dick inside me :p).
 
  • Like
Reactions: Raybo Revoy

winesthel945

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 19, 2016
Posts
559
Media
13
Likes
1,896
Points
313
Location
San Francisco (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Yes, that feeling goes away and gives way to enjoyment... but only if you're really wired to enjoy it. Some folks don't enjoy it, never will... It's good that you're trying, easing into it gently, and like some foods or liquors, maybe the first taste is not great, but eventually you may become a fan. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kanashi

Brodie888

Worshipped Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Posts
3,056
Media
0
Likes
12,702
Points
233
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Bottoming 101, locate your prostate and learn how to stimulate it. My advice for beginners is to by a vibrator with the vibe in the tip.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lovetobetouched

bravesoldier

Worshipped Member
Joined
May 1, 2007
Posts
3,165
Media
0
Likes
11,699
Points
418
Location
southern usa
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
I believe bottoming evolves. Some may be more predisposed to it than others. When I started I too thought, nope, I'm not a bottom. But I guess my desire to give and please men gave me a much stronger desire to keep trying until I got there. I too did as you said and bought toys, lube and practiced. Then I learned about enemas and cleaning out good, which to me will take away that feeling of having to take a dump. My BF had a long, slender cock and it almost always hurt. Other guys with similar cocks aways hurt. Then came the day the BF and I met this guy with 6.5 inches of GIRTH. I was mortified to think about taking him. He never pushed or even asked me, as he and I played many times before he took my hole. Then the day came I was determined to have him in me. All I can say is at least with me, his super large girth must have made my anal sphincter muscle completely resign to his huge girth. When he got it in it was somehow a breeze and I fucking loved it. My hole and gut were stretched so wide it almost felt humiliating, but somehow felt so right. I was taking BIG cock and loved it, which was a huge mental rush. I haven't been able to get too far from him since. He takes my hole now on a regular basis with very little or no discomfort and I always hate when it is over because it feels so incredible.

So, my advice if you can conceive it- try a really thick one (lube internally too) and see how it goes. Seriously, I think the muscle in the anus fights slimmer cocks constantly because the stretch is not so that the muscle gives up temporarily, at least.

Being fucked by a really large cock, (not necessarily long) feels amazing and can make a power bottom out of most, I'd say.
 

pengucat

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 22, 2011
Posts
622
Media
52
Likes
4,430
Points
523
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
It takes practice. I kinda enjoyed it my first time but I remember the first time I took 7+ inches and how hard it made me cum and I went fully vers on the spot. Nothing like taking a big cock once you're used to it. The orgasms are just so intense.
 
  • Like
Reactions: David.djr

PutItInHere691

Legendary Member
Joined
May 22, 2023
Posts
744
Media
0
Likes
2,075
Points
128
Location
Portland, Oregon,United States
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
It takes practice and a lot of trust for the partner you are with .. the first time getting penetrated .. you see the man’s dick and think…— fuck I’ve shit guess bigger than this .. but you shit.. the muscles from your rectum to anus tighten then relaxe moving it to anus to embe expelled from body..

a cock feels different.. you have something that may be skinnier than turds you have shit out.. but this cock is a hard piece of muscle going inwards .. those muscles react and it up to you to relax and control them..


with me I figured it will hurt first time or so.. but then can’t wait until next time.. but he may fuck harder and deeper thrusts making the muscles retract again

so if he is hurting tou.. best thing to you is to stop but if really ever want to feel a cans cock take over that insides of your ass and make feel so good.. relax .. more lube so it will help slide past the area where it’s hurting..
.. plus each cock feels different .. .. just relax and you’ll get used to it.. I know over the number of guys that have topped me.. I totally enjoy it all
 
  • Like
Reactions: David.djr

Robert Dole

Cherished Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2023
Posts
132
Media
0
Likes
315
Points
98
Location
Auckland, Auckland, NZ
Sexuality
No Response
I was instructed by my first boyfriend to get used to having something in my arse before he would even try to fuck me, he was quite definate about it and refused to fuck me until I could do this. I used a small dildo for this and held it in each time my body tried to expel it until I could easily have it in for long periods of time.
From there, taking my his fairly big cock became sexual straight away- the feeling was the intimacy of being opened and filled with cock initially, followed by anal and prostate stimulation as he started thrusting. Size or pain wasn't ever an issue because I was relaxed while he lubed me and eased himself inside. I was loving it from the first time and couldnt get enough.
I've since gotten several curious guys and a few who couldnt get used to bottoming to do this before trying a cock, and every one of those guys found bottoming was for them.
 

Almost40

Legendary Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2011
Posts
820
Media
10
Likes
2,491
Points
323
Location
Greece
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but here goes, anyway... One of the first guys I ever hooked up with wanted to fuck me. I said "ok" thinking it's what I was supposed to do. He didn't get in very far when I asked him to stop. (He did). Figuring I just needed to train my hole, a bought a dildo and lube. Tried it and was like "nope, definitely not a bottom." Well, I kinda want to be...so I tried the dildo again...Lots of lube, I eased it in slowly, relaxed, let myself breathe, and tried to adjust. I didn't try fucking myself with it, just getting used to having something in there. After a while it felt ok, no pain, just feeling like I had to take a dump. Does that feeling go away when you are actually getting fucked, or is that always how it feels? So many people say it feels amazing, but I have not yet gotten anywhere near enjoying the sensation. Any helpful suggestions would be welcome (and no, I don't need to hear how great it would be to have YOUR dick inside me :p).
Are u sure u really get pleasureout of it???? Sorry but it sounds like it is not your "soft spot"...... no offense but it's just what I can tell after reading a few lines, like there's too much effort involved.... don't get me wrong, I'm not not judging, just saying.... just like myself, I know there are a lot of guys that don't want to have their dicks inside such tight "stubborn" holes like yours , because it takes too much time and it certainly is not exciting.... Peace.
 

PutItInHere691

Legendary Member
Joined
May 22, 2023
Posts
744
Media
0
Likes
2,075
Points
128
Location
Portland, Oregon,United States
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
I think if I had a boyfriend telling me to getting opened up before he will fuck me.. I’d prob tell him to go fuck himself ..

If he doesn’t want to take his time fingering rimming your ass prep it for his cock then what else is there he won’t do other things until he orders you to get yourself ready for him..

He is supposed to love you enough to want to take care of you and your tight ass ..

I’ve been with few guys nice n tight but I took my time to make him ready that’s part of the fun
 

Brodie888

Worshipped Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Posts
3,056
Media
0
Likes
12,702
Points
233
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I think if I had a boyfriend telling me to getting opened up before he will fuck me.. I’d prob tell him to go fuck himself ..

If he doesn’t want to take his time fingering rimming your ass prep it for his cock then what else is there he won’t do other things until he orders you to get yourself ready for him..

He is supposed to love you enough to want to take care of you and your tight ass ..

I’ve been with few guys nice n tight but I took my time to make him ready that’s part of the fun
Totally agree!

Unfortunately there is a significant number of gay tops who are completely ignorant about how to top, let alone how to bottom. It's more than just thrusting a dick in a hole. The expectation is that they just have to stick it in like they do in porn.

For bottoms, it's like we are expected to do all the work to be ready to be piston fucked when the top wants. And even more frustrating, some even complain about the time it takes for bottoms to prepare and the lack of spontaneity.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
331
Media
8
Likes
2,539
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Totally agree!

Unfortunately there is a significant number of gay tops who are completely ignorant about how to top, let alone how to bottom. It's more than just thrusting a dick in a hole. The expectation is that they just have to stick it in like they do in porn.

For bottoms, it's like we are expected to do all the work to be ready to be piston fucked when the top wants. And even more frustrating, some even complain about the time it takes for bottoms to prepare and the lack of spontaneity.
As a top, I talked to a lot of bottoms who are exactly how you describe those tops.
They are typically inexperienced bottoms who refuse the idea that their hole needs time to relax.

They are very adamant in only wanting their first experience to be with a huge dick. They totally refuse the idea of experimenting with a dildo or a toy or even a finger, they literally want their first-ever penetration to be a huge cock. You try to tell them that it will not work, but there is absolutely no way.

When you meet them, they do not listen, they put themselves in uncomfortable positions to fuck (e.g. doggy but with the wrong arch), they do not do any effort to relax their hole but instead they power through it, jerk off furiously and cum after 1 minute of penetration.

I'm writing this not to detract from how horrible many tops are. I've seen it with my eyes. But I want to balance it out a bit :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jimmyjimmyjames

Brodie888

Worshipped Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Posts
3,056
Media
0
Likes
12,702
Points
233
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
As a top, I talked to a lot of bottoms who are exactly how you describe those tops.
They are typically inexperienced bottoms who refuse the idea that their hole needs time to relax.

They are very adamant in only wanting their first experience to be with a huge dick. They totally refuse the idea of experimenting with a dildo or a toy or even a finger, they literally want their first-ever penetration to be a huge cock. You try to tell them that it will not work, but there is absolutely no way.

When you meet them, they do not listen, they put themselves in uncomfortable positions to fuck (e.g. doggy but with the wrong arch), they do not do any effort to relax their hole but instead they power through it, jerk off furiously and cum after 1 minute of penetration.

I'm writing this not to detract from how horrible many tops are. I've seen it with my eyes. But I want to balance it out a bit :)
Fair enough.

Hopefully they will learn from experience.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Andrej_u

PutItInHere691

Legendary Member
Joined
May 22, 2023
Posts
744
Media
0
Likes
2,075
Points
128
Location
Portland, Oregon,United States
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Totally agree!

Unfortunately there is a significant number of gay tops who are completely ignorant about how to top, let alone how to bottom. It's more than just thrusting a dick in a hole. The expectation is that they just have to stick it in like they do in porn.

For bottoms, it's like we are expected to do all the work to be ready to be piston fucked when the top wants. And even more frustrating, some even complain about the time it takes for bottoms to prepare and the lack of spontaneity.
I will say this.. I have bottomed a lot.. and never once did I ever “prep” before getting fucked.. Honestly I had never heard of such a thing until mid 30s .. and I have never ever got shit on any guys dick whether it was one at a time .. threesomes .. or even orgy/gangbang

so I never heard of it.. never done it..

And one fellow I ducked didn’t peel and was nervous about being fucked.. and I told him .. if I fuck you.. you get shit on my dick.. I’ll pull out we go clean up and he finishes shiting.. then we will go back and I finish fucking him..

It’s an asshole.. “shits” going to happen.. if it happens either way.. clean up and move on.. and if the shit on your dick bothers you that much then maybe shouldn’t be a top..

It happens in porn .. I’ve seen behind the scenes. Of guys cleaning out after being fucked and before .. and it’s all good there ..

it just in porn.. it’s edited out.. if google scenes of accidents in porn. Straight and gay .. from limp penises that can’t stay hard ..

saw one clip guy vomits after eating a woman’s vagina ..

What we see in porn isn’t real life sex.. as real iLife doesn’t get edited
 

Jamesforeon

Experimental Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 12, 2022
Posts
10
Media
0
Likes
24
Points
113
Location
Portland, ME, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
A cock is definitely different from a dildo. My vibrator is thicker than most cocks, which I purchased after rediscovering my prostate. I had intense orgasms while stimulating my prostate with my fingers and wanted something that could move in a thrusting motion. I have a bidet and like to be clean before using. Apply lube and start slow. You can always apply more lube if it hurts.

I don’t do much foreplay when I masturbate but when you’re having sex, the foreplay really with easing the anal muscles. Let your top know when it hurts too much or you just need to slow down. Kissing helps you relax and prevents the top from cumming too early. I like to stroke my cock to relax my anus while bottoming but I have to be careful to not cum too early either. I like to cum simultaneously when my prostate is fully stimulated. It’s best when the top has his last few thrusts inside of you while you are complete. Alternatively, let the top stroke your cock and he can line it up to when he’s ready to cum.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
331
Media
8
Likes
2,539
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
I will say this.. I have bottomed a lot.. and never once did I ever “prep” before getting fucked.. Honestly I had never heard of such a thing until mid 30s .. and I have never ever got shit on any guys dick whether it was one at a time .. threesomes .. or even orgy/gangbang

so I never heard of it.. never done it..

And one fellow I ducked didn’t peel and was nervous about being fucked.. and I told him .. if I fuck you.. you get shit on my dick.. I’ll pull out we go clean up and he finishes shiting.. then we will go back and I finish fucking him..

It’s an asshole.. “shits” going to happen.. if it happens either way.. clean up and move on.. and if the shit on your dick bothers you that much then maybe shouldn’t be a top..

It happens in porn .. I’ve seen behind the scenes. Of guys cleaning out after being fucked and before .. and it’s all good there ..

it just in porn.. it’s edited out.. if google scenes of accidents in porn. Straight and gay .. from limp penises that can’t stay hard ..

saw one clip guy vomits after eating a woman’s vagina ..

What we see in porn isn’t real life sex.. as real iLife doesn’t get edited
Without going too much in detail, but every person's bowel movements are different.
It is "normal" to poop between once every 3 days and 3 times a day. Some people are just "built" in such a way that their rectum remains mostly empty, and some people are not. And of course, having a balanced diet with plenty of fibre helps a lot, but for example it is estimated that 11% of the population suffers from a form of irritable bowel syndrome and a lot of them spend a large percentage of their time with intestinal issues.

So yeah, in short: for some people "shits" may happen if they have sex unprepared, while for some other people they are basically guaranteed to happen if they don't do any prepping/douching. Bottoms are wonderful creatures and we should thank them every day for the precision and the effort they put into learning how to make everything perfect behind the scenes :cool:
 
  • Love
Reactions: bourneofhale

PutItInHere691

Legendary Member
Joined
May 22, 2023
Posts
744
Media
0
Likes
2,075
Points
128
Location
Portland, Oregon,United States
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
i do have stomach issues but they never really bothered myintestines or anything--but let me assure another thing--a guy preps his ass getting ready to be fucked--it only cleans out so far--so if getting fucked by a decent sized cock or by a cock lasting a long time---the suction from the fucking can and will pull shit on through the intestines and guess where it goes----

i think most times a guy takes a laxative flushes out completely and then douches to finsh prepping then thats only way to assure cleanliness
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Jimmyjimmyjames

Cock-a-Hoop

Cherished Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Sep 7, 2023
Posts
154
Media
0
Likes
312
Points
348
Location
Carlisle, UK
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but here goes, anyway... One of the first guys I ever hooked up with wanted to fuck me. I said "ok" thinking it's what I was supposed to do. He didn't get in very far when I asked him to stop. (He did). Figuring I just needed to train my hole, a bought a dildo and lube. Tried it and was like "nope, definitely not a bottom." Well, I kinda want to be...so I tried the dildo again...Lots of lube, I eased it in slowly, relaxed, let myself breathe, and tried to adjust. I didn't try fucking myself with it, just getting used to having something in there. After a while it felt ok, no pain, just feeling like I had to take a dump. Does that feeling go away when you are actually getting fucked, or is that always how it feels? So many people say it feels amazing, but I have not yet gotten anywhere near enjoying the sensation. Any helpful suggestions would be welcome (and no, I don't need to hear how great it would be to have YOUR dick inside me :p).
Ha ha ha you're not the 1st man to have that quandary , some gay men just want to fuck and feel bad for not reciprocating ..... Keep trying with the dildo until you find the sweet spot ;) yes men also have a G spot . If you can spend 10 minutes looking for a golf ball you can make more effort for the pleasure zone :) :) :)
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Lovetobetouched

playklax01

Admired Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2013
Posts
474
Media
10
Likes
934
Points
213
Location
Boston, MA, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
For bottoms, it's like we are expected to do all the work to be ready to be piston fucked when the top wants. And even more frustrating, some even complain about the time it takes for bottoms to prepare and the lack of spontaneity.
Haha, been there so many times from my own (now ex) husband, especially about the lack of spontaneity.
 

Andrej_u

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 25, 2022
Posts
331
Media
8
Likes
2,539
Points
388
Location
Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Totally agree!

Unfortunately there is a significant number of gay tops who are completely ignorant about how to top, let alone how to bottom. It's more than just thrusting a dick in a hole. The expectation is that they just have to stick it in like they do in porn.

For bottoms, it's like we are expected to do all the work to be ready to be piston fucked when the top wants. And even more frustrating, some even complain about the time it takes for bottoms to prepare and the lack of spontaneity.
To be fair, I kinda like it when the bottom takes time to prepare!
I mean, I am grateful that he is doing all this work in order to give me a clean and flawless ass. If he takes his time, it is like a seal of quality :cool:

What happened to me sometimes, unfortunately, is that some bottoms were so worried about not being clean... That they ended up overwashing themselves, irritating their rectum and then not being able to have sex.
It is a pity. I really did my best to reassure them, to tell them that "accidents" don't matter... But it wasn't enough. I wish I could have done more.