Trying to tell my girlfriend something

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by wowBig, Jul 29, 2008.

  1. wowBig

    wowBig New Member

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    I told my girlfriend that I masterbate to other girls whether it be from school,life,porn, or movies.

    I told her I can't think of her while I do it(for some reason she wants me to)

    I just feel dirty all over ..last time I tried.

    ...so has anyone felt this way about a wife or loved one?


    and explain to me what your feeling?
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    'Scuze my bluntness but What the Fuck did you tell her that for?!?!

    Are you mad?? Are you trying to split up with her?

    I can't help you with the 'feeling dirty' because you're thinking about her when you wank problem - my best self-induced orgasms happen when I'm thinking about my guy - but I will make one suggestion for the issue of her wanting you to jack-off thinking of her. Lie.

    Not always the best option - but in this case I think you should make an exception. Next time you have really good sex tell her you're going to think about that next time you jack-off and then, even if you still can't, tell her you did and it was great.

    And don't worry about it. We all have different mental triggers for sexual stimulation - unless you're thinking about something disturbing while whacking it really is no one else business and she doesn't have a right to tell you what to fantasise about. But do remember, never tell a woman you are jacking off over some girl you know in real life. Actresses, porn stars, pop singers - fine. NEVER tell her you are jacking to the girl who sits next to you in the library at college. NEVER!! Especially not if it is true!

    Good luck.
     
  3. Penis Aficionado

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    I understand where he's coming from, though. Sometimes when a guy really loves a girl and respects her as a human being, that makes it more difficult to think of her in a sexual way. It would be like defiling your mental image of her, to think about her while jerking off.
     
  4. kundalinikat

    kundalinikat Member

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    Tell her what Dan Savage said about this once, that if she wants a dick that does everything she wants it to, she should buy a dildo.
     
  5. Pendlum

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    That's all a matter of perspective. What is disrespectful about being sexually attracted to someone? I think it is a compliment. So I understand why this guy's girl wants him to. It makes her feel sexy, and makes her feel wanted. So I'm not seeing the disrespect angle. But like I said, perspective.

    As for advice, I'd go with MB's. I don't have this problem, but there are worse things you can lie about. And it's not like she can prove you aren't using her for fapping material. She'll feel better, and you should feel better because of that.
     
  6. ruffboy

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    i think MB is fairly right on with this in that a lil lie can be a very good thing. but i also think she goes a bit too far in the 'NEVER NEVER NEVER' stuff. never say never, my wife and i have had some fantastic sex talking about other people we've masturbated thinking about, even told each other stories of that person with them while the spouse got off on it. i'm a glass half full kinda guy, don't need to assume its all crap to begin with, the fact you and your gf apparently talk about this stuff to begin with is a great thing, will go a long way. i do think you aught to be able to get over the feeling dirty about thinking of HER though, she's a sexual human being just like all the rest of the females you jerk off to, and none of it is wrong in my opinion. but yeah, in the vein of MB's advice, until you can get to a point where you truly can imagine her (in addition to other women), giving her some good feelings and saying a lil lie about it won't hurt
     
  7. eastbaydude

    eastbaydude New Member

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    Women know we mastrubate. Masurbating to anonymous porn stars and unattainable actresses like Pam Anderson is probably not a threat. Masturbating to the women down the hall? Dude, shut the fuck up. It's in your head, You do't have to explain it. Ladies, am I right?

    Now, get over the dirty feeling. You're fucking her becuase she's hot. Let her know. Here's an idea, since you're so fond of talking to her about your masturbation technique - show her. Masturbate in front of her. Have her do it for you. You'll both like it. Guilt? Feeling dirty? Won't be a problem any more.
     
  8. lowteg

    lowteg Member

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    Man I know that feeling, its hard to get off over a chic you love.

    but just some random hottie its ok hahaha...

    dw all is good..
     
  9. Guy-jin

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    Have to agree with MB here. This is really something you do not need to share with her.

    I've had that happen before, in my old relationship, where I fantasize about being with some particular friend of mine who I really just wanted to fuck silly. I think it stemmed from the fact that my libido was not being satisfied in that relationship. I just really need to have sex on a daily basis to be fulfilled, and in that relationship, I wasn't. So I was horny literally all the time, using fantasy to escape that bad situation.

    Anyway, point is that you're not a bad guy for thinking about another woman with you masturbate. It may be a sign, however, that you aren't being completely fulfilled in that relationship, and maybe if you think about whether you're really satisfied, you can figure out what's lacking and fix it.
     
  10. TheWB

    TheWB New Member

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    why the hell would u tell that to ur gf lol
     
  11. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    You shouldn't have told her you think about other women while you masturbate. Women know we masturbate, and they usually can understand why we do it, and that we are not depriving them of something, nor cheating on them. My wife knows I masturbate when I am away from home.

    Don't feel dirty about having fantasies: they are healthy, and not equal to cheating, until they remain fantasies, there is no reason to feel guilty, you have not harmed anyone, with your fantasies.

    What was wrong, and harmful, unfair, was to try to get rid of your regrets at your girlfriend's expenses.
     
  12. NightFish

    NightFish Active Member

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    Since the cat's out of the bag, tell her that she needs to provide you a special night so you can fill your spank bank
     
  13. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    I applaud you honesty!! But sometimes a person can be to honest. Funny you mention it but my wife asked me the other day who I think off while masturbating. I told her I think of her and other woman. She was quite turned on by it. But if i did think of someone we both know. I don't think I would tell her!!
     
  14. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think if i was your girlfriend i would be a bit upset about a admission like that. Not because you masturbate while thinking about other people, that is normal, but for the fact that you cant masturbate thinking about her. I understand it is probably because you respect her so much and see her more as a mother/wife but every one, every woman wants to know they are desirable and lusted after. So maybe you could try masturbating with her. It might help you see in her what you se in the other people you do fantasize about
     
  15. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

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    the only time I jerk off thinking about my gf is because I am with her at that time.
    Also, maybe we don't like masturbating thinking about our gf's because we do the real thing. ;) Go back to years ago. When you had your first gf and you never did anything ( you may have masturbated then) :)
     
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