Trying to understand my GF and sex with her

[Tantalar]

Hey I have a question about my girlfriend. During sex she generally gives me the reins. I think she likes to be dominated. She usually prefers really deep penetration (Im very well endowed and its very tight but she is very deep it seems.) and for those two reasons I am generally afraid of going too deep because she will sometimes pull away or wince or sort of make sounds like she is getting hurt. (there has never been any blood after a year and a half) After we finish, through the sex which seems like she is in pain the whole time, sometimes she is nearly crying, she clings to me and kisses me all over and hugs me insanely tight and smiles and giggles and laughs about how good it was and how she loves me so much and I'm such a good lover.

Is this because she loves me and wants me to think I'm doing a good job?

Is it because she just "puts up with it" because she knows how nice it feels to pound cervix and be all the way inside her?

Does she really enjoy it and she's not making it up?

I hear her literally crying during it and pulling away but she says she likes to be dominated and struggle against my forceful thrusts and holding her down (basically this only happens during doggy)

What's the deal? Do girls really fake this even in committed relationships? We have been together for almost a year and a half and I think we are really close. We always have a ton of sex and she is always willing and ready at my request. Is there more to what meets the eye and Im just too much of "a guy" to see it? I am just trying to better understand women and trying to be the best I can be. Thanks!

 

[HiddenLacey]

You need to talk to her about it. Honestly. If she is lying to you, SHE is the one missing out.

We all like different things. She may like pain, she may want to be dominated.

If this is what she wants and you like it, I say have fun.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Is this because she loves me and wants me to think I'm doing a good job?

Could be, ask her.

Is it because she just "puts up with it" because she knows how nice it feels to pound cervix and be all the way inside her?

Could be, ask her.

Does she really enjoy it and she's not making it up?

Could be, ask her.

I hear her literally crying during it and pulling away but she says she likes to be dominated and struggle against my forceful thrusts and holding her down (basically this only happens during doggy)

What reason do you have for thinking she is lying to you? Does she lie to you about other stuff?

What's the deal? Do girls really fake this even in committed relationships? We have been together for almost a year and a half and I think we are really close. We always have a ton of sex and she is always willing and ready at my request. Is there more to what meets the eye and Im just too much of "a guy" to see it? I am just trying to better understand women and trying to be the best I can be. Thanks!

I know you're just trying to understand, and it is great that you are, but asking about general behaviour is not going to get you answers about your girlfriend.

Some women just react that way to be fucked just right. It doesn't mean, by the way, that if you ever move on from this girl to another and the new girl does not cry and gush that you are doing something wrong, it'll just be that she reacts differently.

If you are worried about this have a frank talk with her.

And yes, some women do fake, even in a committed relationship. Some may even fake the precise behaviour you describe. But that doesn't mean your girlfriend is faking, any more than it means she isn't.

 

[Tantalar]

at age 22 when we met I was a virgin and she was not a virgin but had never had a boyfriend before. This is our first relationship for either of us. She had never been with someone as big as me so nobody ever hit her cervix in 10 or so that she had sex with. It took about 6 months before we really were able to go all the way in but its still tough for her to handle it sometimes. It keeps hitting the cervix. I think she is a bout 7.5 inches deep and I am nearly 9 inches long so its about an inch and a half of "give" or "stretch" but thats a guess because thats sort of how it feels. We both are pretty overweight and im really worried about what will happen when we both lose the weight (can probly lose 150 combined ideally) so im worried about the fat pad being gone and then being able to penetrate even deeper. Is this a valid concern? Will her cervix stretch back deeper if I keep fucking it? Or will it just stay where it is forever? I am really worried once we lose weight I wont be able to go all the way inside because it feels so good and I feel so close when im all the way inside

 

[B_subgirrl]

I love deep penetration, even though it does hurt a little on occasion. I also love to be dominated. So yes, there are other people out there who like what your gf seems to like. I doubt she's faking (can't see why she would) but if you really want to know you need to talk to her about it.

 

[deleted356736]

My wife's a bit like this, and we've been married for more than 25 years, so this should be no surprise after a year and a half. Some women have higher sex drives than other, and some couples have a higher degree of sexual attraction to one-another than others, and this is probably what you and I both have. I don't hurt my wife unless I rush it, but there are other similarities.

Don't over-analyse it, just enjoy it for what it is. Who knows, you may end up spending a sexy lifetime together. Sex isn't the be-all and end-all of a relationship, but a good healthy sex life does make a good relationship very special indeed.

 

[B_625girth]

just enjoy it, don't over think, analyze it. if you are really hurting her, she will make you stop. some gals are hornier than others, and almost fall into a trance. when my wife and I started dating, I opened her "door" to sex. when we would start fucking, she would initially back away a little bit, maybe I was going to deep, but later she would have her legs wrapped around me, taking every last bit of cock, cumming all over. it got so that every month, when she was in her cycle peak, all she could think about was cock. she practically raped me at times. some of her gfs thought she had gone crazy. there were days spent in bed, her legs quivering, moaning and sucking my cock, forcing erection after erection. between her and a previous gf, I think my cock size went from slight bigger than average into the "hung" category. I know her one experienced gf saw my cock once and said I was huge, biggest she had ever seen, so thick.

 

[dan8.5inch]

My wife likes deep penetrations but only in certain positions. You can usually tell if you're going too far (hitting the cervix can be painful for the guy too, but probably not as painful as it is for her). In missionary, she takes it all no problem (I hit her cervix but it's not painful for either of us). Doggy style is out... too painful for her and it doesn't hurt me at all so I can't tell how far to thrust without causing her pain. The odd thing is with her on top, I can't imagine it doesn't hurt her but she takes it all and it actually hurts me (she can get pretty rough and having your head ram into a cervix with force can be a bit painful). But to put myself in your girlfriends shoes, her on top is a little painful but a huge turn-on for me to have my wife take it all on her own (it's physical confirmation that she does like it deep). The most important thing I discussed above is that I wouldn't know any of this if we weren't completely open about what feels good and what doesn't. My suggestion is if you think she's not telling you the full story, ask her what feels better for her, what position how deep, etc... ask her if some positions are more painful than others. It's a less risky question for her to answer... so maybe she will open up a little. The more you are both open with eachother the better the sex will be (even if you can't go balls deep after you discover it hurts). I'd love to be able to do more doggy style with my wife, but it's more pleasurable for both of us to do different positions where she can take it all and I don't have to worry about how far I can thrust.

 

[double_digit]

To the O.P.:

Spend a little alone time without distractions and have a little pow-wow with the ladyfriend. You would not be asking these questions on a semi-public forum if you just *asked* her. ;D

 

[B_blessed boy]

i doubt she's faking, my girl is like that.....she cries and likes it when i hold her down and go deep inside her....sometimes she just keeps saying "its too big ur soo big". they just like to be dominated man....and ur size makes her feel so small which makes it even easier to dominate and please her. thats my personal theory still....cause even though she feels pain she doesnt want it to stop.

 

[Mike7]

I agree with what others said. Some women love being dominated and have no problem releasing all sorts of emotions and noises during hot sex.

Double check to make sure her cries are pleasure and if it's pleasure then more power to you both. She may even love it more if you play up the Dom angle a little more

 

[petite]

I have really great communication with my guy, but sometimes I pretend that it doesn't hurt when it really does. Self-consciousness about our size discrepancy is constantly there and sometimes I just want him to forget about it and get lost in the moment. Sometimes he can tell that it hurts and he'll ask me afterward or he'll back off on his own during sex, but sometimes he doesn't notice at all.Obviously it isn't unbearably painful or I would stop him. I usually do it when we're at the end of having sex, when he's really into it and enjoying himself and I think he's about to orgasm. I don't want to stop him because I can see how much he's enjoying himself. I don't bring it up afterward because I know that he would feel guilty and that's not what I want him to feel.

It doesn't bother me that sometimes it hurts (just as long as it doesn't always hurt). We both make little sacrifices of discomfort for each other in bed and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. We don't have to keep each other constantly updated about each little ache or pain. Sometimes I'm hard to get off orally, but he licks me for a long time and I'm know that it makes his mouth and neck sore, but he never complains about it. We're both giving in bed to each other, and not saying "Ow, ow, ow, you're bottoming out!" right before his orgasm is something that I often do for him.

So, I guess I'm saying that you should talk to her about it, but if she insists that everything is just fine, just let it go for now, and be just as generous towards her.

 

[cece]

I find it very odd that people would rather pose their questions about sex with their partners here first with strangers before attempting to discuss it with their partners. Everything we say here is just speculation, or theory based on our own experiences. Open, honest communication with your girlfriend is the best way to truly understand her.

But personally, I don't think she is faking the pain. It doesn't seem beneficial or gratifying to lie about it. For me, there's a fine line between pleasure and pain and perhaps like me, she likes hovering between the two.

And like petite said, I too sometimes prefer not to let my man know if it's getting too intense or painful for me, especially if he's enjoying it or about to come. I really would like him to enjoy himself without any guilt or hesitation. There's always a little give and take in any healthy relationship. You should really talk to her about this. If she is fine with the pain, and enjoys it even, then just accept it and enjoy yourself.

As for the weight loss, I don't think it's a significant concern when it comes to penetration depth. You won't be losing the combined 150lbs of weight overnight I'm sure. It will be very gradual, and she will have time to learn how to accommodate you. If that fails, well, it's always a lot easier to put the weight back on! :biggrin1: