Turned off by anal sex

[AtomicMouse1950]

Hey guys

I know a lot of straight guys who just aren't into anal sex. I've had it with girls, and while I'm not directly turned off by it, I don't really have any desires for it. But, like I said, I know (straight) guys who are simply turned off by anal sex. I actually think it's pretty common.

Is this the case for homosexual guys as well? And how do gays deal with that sort of thing? Or is anal sex just considered a "natural" thing, while for many straight couples it would be seen as more experimental? Does a homosexual man who's turned off by anal sex almost equal a straight man being turned off by vaginal intercourse (meaning that it really doesn't exist)?

I hope these questions don't sound too ignorant. It's just something I've been wondering about.

Playwright, movie producer, writer, night club performer Noel Coward felt the same way, he distained anal sex.

 

[basque9]

I might be tossing a bombshell here; however, here it goes! A few of you have told me my dick is big and my dick is long and my dick is exceptional for 81. I just want to say that I already did have a big dick years ago, but it has never really stopped increasing in size, especially in girth.

I didn't start jelquing my cock until after joining this site in 2006. What do you think was making it grow? Since becoming of legal age (we don't talk about adolescent sex on this site) I have been a top and I mean daily anal fucking and even many times daily....my sex drive was extreme and I worked professionally for 2 years in sex. The constant milking and stretching out of my cock was like frequent jelquing. A cock can not but continue to grow when constantly pulled and milked and drawn out longer and thicker! Say no if you want, but this guy is convinced that frequent anal topping can make a cock grow larger over time.

 

[AtomicMouse1950]

I've never known a large cocked man yet, who didn't have a huge sex drive, and haven't sexually slowed down one iota due to the aging process. I suspect to some extent, it has something to do(in part) with their large cock size that fuels their libido. But, that's just my theory.

 

[basque9]

I've never known a large cocked man yet, who didn't have a huge sex drive, and haven't sexually slowed down one iota due to the aging process. I suspect to some extent, it has something to do(in part) with their large cock size that fuels their libido. But, that's just my theory.

Something definitely fuels my libido, mate. Friends my age have either lost interest in sex or can no longer perform and most complain their dicks have gotten smaller.:frown1:

 

[cliftoncock]

I for one am sure there's a link between dick size and libido. Perhaps it's the confidence that a larger penis can give you?

 

[ActionBuddy]

Glad to see this thread here, which is about being "Turned off by anal sex", not about dick size and libido...So, guys, keep it focused on the original topic!

It is amazing to me that not only 'straight people' can't imagine homosexual sex and relationships NOT involving anal sex, but also the high percentage of GAY men that can't conceptualize it either.

When I was born, grew as a sexually curious child, and then as a teen, never did it enter my mind: "Hmm, am I a Top or a Bottom?... What will I shove up my butt today?... What will I shove up my friend's butt?"... The thought of anal sex never even occurred to me until later on when I saw gay pornos and got into my first real relationship, which ended, sadly, primarily over the issue of not wanting anal sex, either as giver or receiver.

Don't get me wrong here, I love and appreciate hot asses, and think prostate stimulation is a wonderful thing for those that enjoy it, but, I have no interest in anal sex, especially if it involves the weird, imposed, "Top or Bottom?" role playing business.

Anal sex is not the "be all and end all" of male-to-male sexual relations for a huge percentage of men that engage in sex together, but, that is not acknowledged, by most people, straight, bi or gay... For those with sexual activity preferences like mine; masturbation, mutual masturbation, frottage, massage, and other sensual activities are NOT "foreplay"... it is want we really enjoy, and what gets us off... No penetration needed!

It's not just about the "hassle", the grease, the possible mess, or the looming idea of spreading STD's... It's simply that I'm just not interested in doing it... Nor am I into identifying myself as a "Top" or "Bottom"... A concept that is apparently foreign to the "Majority".

Something that never ceases to amaze me with being online, and chatting with new men, is how quickly it becomes an issue. The whole "ASL?" thing with chat really should be changed to "ASLTorB?", as the question of whether you are a "Top" or a "Bottom" will almost always rear it's ugly head within 5 minutes of an online conversation. When I answer "Neither.", it never fails to either completely baffle the man who I am chatting with, or get the conversation going in a direction I am actually interested in, which is non-evasive, consensual, erotic male-to-male touch, bonding and appreciation of each other.

Finding friends who grasp that concept, is a wonderful thing.

A/B

 

[basque9]

It is quite possible that the inferences in my post # 22 were not understood by some to be a direct response to the op. OP asked whether anal sex acts were just considered "natural" by gay men.

As far back as I can recall the thought of anal sex has been the volcanic force that drives my gay desire and libido. It feels as natural as anything else I can think of. Shared oral sex and masturbation are fun, but to me they are but icing on the cake. To me the force that bonds gay men is anal sex.

My relating that some gay men might actually increase their penis size through repetitive anal sex over time, was but another oblique gay nod from me in support of the practice.

 

[ActionBuddy]

... To me the force that bonds gay men is anal sex.

That is your opinion, which you have every right to feel and express, but, I totally disagree with you... What "bonds" gay men is trusting, appreciative friendship, not butt sex.

 

[basque9]

I could not agree more with your emphasis on the paired words trust and appreciative friendship! Trust and appreciative friendship are the fabric which can evolve from a long shared and loving sexual bond of two men engaged in the love mechanism of their preference.

 

[B_BlowBoyToo]

Being the Dedicated Cocksucker that I am, I always find it funny when I post an add Looking to be someones Cocksucker somewhere, but never mentioning any sort of Anal & someone will respond: And you like it in the Ass I see. What the Fuck is that? Can't they read? I AM A COCKSUCKER, my ass is exit only & I DO NOT LIKE ANYTHING INVOLVING ANAL, PERIOD!!

 

[TomCat84]

When I was younger, I was bottom only- then I became vers, then a top briefly, and now Im back to bottom only- I mean, I LOVE getting fucked and I cant imagine being in a relationship where I was not getting fucked on a regular basis. That having been said, I have fallen hard for a couple of guys in my day who were just not into anal sex, and I stayed out of a relationship with them for that very reason. One offered to be in an open relationship with me- we would be boyfriends, but I could run around and get fucked on the side. Not being into anal sex is certainly a legitimate thing- but for me, that relationship would never work out, at least not at this point in my life. I'm lucky to have found a man now who is as in love with being a top as I am with being a bottom.

 

[concupisys]

i think what we have all learned here is that sex, no matter what orientation or position, is different for EVERYONE.... it can differentiate by just about anything: age, gender, nationality, curiosity, fetishes, etc.... what makes gay sex a challenge for some of us sometimes is that so many of us misunderstand each other and are therefore established as incompatible.... in that regard, we often express and experience animosity towards each other, and won't even give each other the time of day for something as trivial as whether you want a dick in your ass, want to put a dick in someone elses' ass, or not at all.... i personally think that there is something to be enjoyed sexually in everyone; it's just that some are a little more difficult to please or have discussion about it....

but i must say: in all my experience talking to other guys and gals about their sexual tastes, i've learned that some people are in to some really messed up stuff....

 

[invisibleman]

Hey guys

I know a lot of straight guys who just aren't into anal sex. I've had it with girls, and while I'm not directly turned off by it, I don't really have any desires for it. But, like I said, I know (straight) guys who are simply turned off by anal sex. I actually think it's pretty common.

Is this the case for homosexual guys as well? And how do gays deal with that sort of thing? Or is anal sex just considered a "natural" thing, while for many straight couples it would be seen as more experimental? Does a homosexual man who's turned off by anal sex almost equal a straight man being turned off by vaginal intercourse (meaning that it really doesn't exist)?

I hope these questions don't sound too ignorant. It's just something I've been wondering about.

Speaking only for myself...I like anal sex...with the right guy. I am only turned off by anal if it is the wrong guy. I don't force any man to do it. I like topping and bottoming. With the right guy, I aim to please.

 

[groove]

I'm more bottom than top, but I'm turned off by anal sex too. That's because i just can't get used to the pain from penetration. It hurts for days on end after being fucked. I don't think I'm too narrow downthere, I guess I am not that good in the art of relaxation... Nowadays I mostly come here and fantasize about being fucked, and play with my boyfriend in other ways.

 

[AlexDB9]

When I first hopped the fence at 22, I referred to anal as "that." I loved frot, mutual JO and oral. The ass and the whole shit thing freaked me out. Pics of guys with destroyed assholes were burned in my mind. I loved fucking women in the pussy and wasn't interested in doing it with a man.

But that all changed with I met "him," Latino Marine who was a virtuoso with his beautiful uncut cock. "If you were a woman you'd have 3 of my kids by now" he said. I was a bottom the first 2 yrs of our relationship until I gave him some drugs and flipped him over. He was on the high side of average, aesthetically one of the prettiest dicks I've ever seen. I loved sucking it, couldn't get enough.

During my single time (which hasn't been much) I prefer to just make out and do JO and oral. I can't have anal with just anyone. A strange asshole doesn't appeal to me. Anal with strangers is kinda gross.

 

[mngusher]

I really like this thread and I really appreciate action buddy's response. Before I had ever seen any kind of gay porn I never considered anal sex or rimming. For me its all about the balls, the cock and the cum. A nice ass is great to touch and look at but that's about it.

I've done anal both ways and it just doesn't do much for me.

Its incredibly frustrating when I place ads for oral or JO and the guy comes over and says "so, what ELSE are you into" which is usually code for "do you like to fuck." Or they respond to my ad by saying "so, do you like to go top or bottom". I usually roll my eyes, sigh and ignore them. Sometimes I get back to them with a snarky response like "so, did you see anything about top or bottom in my ad? No? Well there's a reason for that!"

The thing of it is, its not only gay men that do this. Its married men. In fact I'd say married men are even more desirous of anal because they can't get it at home. I can't tell you how many married men want me to fuck them. And without a condom!

Anyway, that's my two cents on the issue.

 

[xtremehung]

Hurrah!!!

I don't feel that odd any more.

Anal is a total turn off in all aspects for me top or bottom, its just not something I have any interest in at all!

I am glad there are other like minded guys out and about, as I was starting to think I was an anomoly

 

[concupisys]

@groove:

if anal sex hurts you and turns you off so much, why do you do it? are you insecure? do you think that if you don't do it that nobody will want to have sex with you? does the person topping you get off on the fact that they are causing you pain while fucking you?

i'm asking so bluntly because you have proven a point that i've been trying to make for a very long time: lots of gay men partake in anal sex even though they don't like it and it hurts them.... why? what exactly is the motivation outside of actually liking the pain and degradation? if that's the case then that's fine because people who are in to pain and degradation are free to do what they like.... but if you don't like it, then what does that make what you are doing? to me, i consider that a mild form of coerced rape.... (ya, i know that's an extreme term but if anyone else can come up with a better one then please feel free to share....)

being gay, coming to terms with being gay and coming out is hard enough without all the sex stuff getting in the way of it, and there's not enough people out there having open discussions about it to eradicate all the confusion.... like seriously: we had a global movement just to be accepted as homosexuals by the heterosexual world.... do we need one to accept ourselves too?

 

[milwjocknow]

Why do we have this continuing, endless discussion of anal sex? If you don't like it, simply don't do it. Enough said. It's no different than any other sexual practice. Some like it, some don't. If you are one that doesn't like it, find someone else who doesn't like it. Then you can be happy and fulfilled. But PLEASE stop with the condemnation of a common sexual practice. It's really sad to watch a group of gay men throwing ass sex grenades at each other.

 

[concupisys]

@mil:

if these dialogues are happening the way they are and as frequently as they do, then there's a reason for it or we would not be discussing it.... the condemnation and negativity are being slung around from both sides of the fence, and people who DO have anal sex are just as guilty of what you are expressing as people who don't.... i encourage this dialogue because it's helping to bring certain issues and feelings out in the open and create a sense of understanding and acceptance about something that is obviously a huge issue in the gay community.... all you are doing is promoting the ongoing ignorance and animosity that sparked conversations like this to happen in the first place.... people who are not willing to see this discussion through on a level playing field where everyone is free to voice their opinions and feelings on the matter should just go back to their playpens, stick a pacifier in their mouth, and let the adults have their discussion....