Turning 30 and still single

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Harry_Ballz, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. D_Harry_Ballz

    D_Harry_Ballz New Member

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    Hello Ladies of LPSG,


    I'll first start by saying this is not a pity party, a rallying cry to get women on here to screw me silly (Although I wouldn't mind, but thats not the point). In September of this year I will be turning 30 and alas I am still single. Allow me to provide some background info:

    My life to this point has always revolved around me making every single effort to better myself and to create an environment and home that would be appealing to any woman to look at me and think "Wow, he's really got his act together". After graduating from college I have essentially put the pedal to the metal elevating my salary and career to a point where if I were to meet someone and have a family, my wife would have the choice to either continue working after we would have children, or be a stay at home mom and live comfortably. Since then I've been able to have a house built, financially secure myself, and pretty much brace for the opportunity of a family.By no means am I stating that I expect my wife to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen for the rest of her life. But I have very much sought to work hard so that the option is there if she would so decide. I do recall a few years ago an episode of Sex in the City which featured the "Marrying Man", which is essentially a guy who so desperately wants to get married, but all of the girls simply can't handle that. "Too much commitment up front", "If I date this guy I'll feel obligated to be with him for the rest of time". These are just certain pitfalls I'm falling into and I'm seeking guidance out.

    As I approach 30, it has become more and more trying on me to find a woman willing to settle down. More and more I see people marrying at a younger age, and I can't help but think that I've missed the boat and am doomed to a life alone. The bar/club scene is usually filled with women looking for one night stands, women with baggage (and plenty of it), or folks I'm just not plain into. Speed Dating, EHarmony, Match, PlentyofFish, etc. have also been tools that I have used to "put myself out there" so to speak with no avail.

    I suppose thats probably one of the main reasons I joined LPSG to start. Initially I thought, "Well hey, if I can fill out my cock resume (photo gallery), I'll get some hits for sure! Fuck yeah! However, with age comes wisdom, and realization that perhaps this is not the site to find "The One", and maybe it's just a resource guide and an organized version of craiglist to get some ass from anyone brave enough to step up to the plate.

    With that said, this is my question: Ladies, what is your recommendation for as I turn 30 to venture out and find not just someone, but a person with a good foundation thats looking for the same in return?

    Thanks for your advice in advance.
     
  2. Daichii

    Daichii New Member

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    30 still ok. I haven't gotten there yet, but don't rush with someone you'll regret later please.
     
  3. Chaotica

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    Church?
    A hobbyist group?
    An exercise group (running)?
    Friends? Ask tons of friends if they know anyone who might be a good fit for a blind date!
     
  4. lotsofquestions

    lotsofquestions New Member

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    1. how big is your dick?

    2. what do you do for work? how much do you make a year?
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    I was about your age when I got married. I met my husband online, but not on a dating site. In fact, we both had profiles on all the same sites, but he was not a match for me, not in my area, had no photos, and no interesting information in his profile. We would never have found each other that way, and for the most part, we are incredibly compatible.

    Yes, I met him online, but he was my friend, and a very good one at that. We built a solid foundation on trust and respect, and an impossibly uncanny mutual fascination with Disney's Kim Possible. We were able to support each other through some rough times and dark thoughts, and became really close. Somewhere along the line we fell in love and had to admit that. So he moved closer, we dated for two years, and once he'd presented me to his (disapproving) parents, we were married within the month. He is the best man I know, and I am lucky to get to snuggle him every morning.

    My advice would be to make friends with women, but don't be their doormat. Be a good friend, but go on dates, spend lots of time together. Be very picky; people who are not good sorters pick terrible girlfriends/boyfriends. Get to know a few women at a time from a few groups that do things you like to do. A good place to start is Meetup.com. Join a group of singles who dine out, or socialize their dogs, or play RPG's, or build models, or whatever it is you're into. Make acquaintances with similar interests, and if you aren't romantically inclined toward any of them, ask to be introduced their fun friends. Be nice, but not too available. The harder it is to make my schedule match a man's, the more alluring he is. Be proud of the things that make you special. Do you write short stories? Get women to read them and critique them for you. Are you a great singer, get women to go hear your choir, or do karaoke with you. Whatever it is, exhibit it, but do not show off. When you're genuinely interested, be sure to flirt, and let your sexy side show, just don't make women think you're that way with everyone, or that you only see them as sexy. I think many women want to feel special to a man, and want to feel that he wants the funny brainiac as well as the hot minx. (or whatever her personality strengths are) You'll make friends, and one of them might be "the one".
     
  6. tanstaafl16

    tanstaafl16 Member

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    Keyser, same situation. I think most people meet each other in school so if you leave college without LTR, it's hard especially living in a major metropolitan area.

    You already built a house? That might be a turn off as that is something man and wife should do together.

    I will probably go to grad school and I will hope to meet someone there.

    A friend of mine got married after knowing someone six months and it seems there marriage is struggling already. Don't rush!
     
  7. Daichii

    Daichii New Member

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    This sounds eerily similar to someone I know not to far me. The parents/online thing.

    I'm fine with it, because it's all about chemistry. I agree with the rest too. Good read.
     
  8. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I feel much the same. Part of me thinks that maybe I should have settled for one of the LTRs I had when I was younger. The larger part of me knows that that would have made me much more miserable than I am now.


    There's no reason why you couldn't find 'the one' here. Post more and make friends. You never know what might happen. I've met people here who could have been 'a one' (I don't believe in 'the one') if they weren't gay or already spoken for.


    If I had advice for you, I would have taken it myself by now! Good luck though. And I disagree with the earlier poster who said that you having a house might be a turn off.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    The older I got, the more established I expected a man to be if he wanted my attention. A house and a career already? Fantastic!

    Thank you. Yeah, parents are nervous about people met over the Internet. They don't get it.
     
  10. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    I'm turning 30 and I am in the same boat as you. I've had just about all the fun I want to have and I feel I am genuinely ready for more. However, I'd rather continue waiting for 'more' with the right person than just someone who is like-minded. I think it's all about connection, so I suggest you look for that.
     
  11. ManlyBanisters

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    Just for transparency I'd like to say that I have requested this thread to be moved to 'Relationships, etc.'.

    My advice is to stop trying so damn hard. Let life happen a bit. You say all this stuff about making yourself a good provider, yada, yada - what about being a good person? What about being a man who's comfortable with himself? Women aren't maths equations that need solving with the right dimensions of cock and ratio of cock size to bank balance - we're diverse human beings with as many foibles and fuck ups as men. Stop trying to bait the hook, because if you carry on like this the fish that bites will be marrying the circumstances not the man, and then the chances are that neither of you will be happy.
     
  12. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    Yeah...earlier I was wondering how this was a women's issue.
     
  13. D_ Jack_Soffalotte

    D_ Jack_Soffalotte Account Disabled

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    It sounds counterintuitive, but you might find it easier to find a partner if you don't try to so hard to look for it.
     
  14. D_Louisa May Alclit

    D_Louisa May Alclit Account Disabled

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    J3kyll has a point. My hubby was single and in a similar situation, but he wasn't using online dating. All his female friends love him, because he's a really good friend. Always relaxed and comfortable. My advise would be "relax". Get some female friend and let them see, what a good guy you are. Sounds like you've got it "going on". I and most of my girlfriends agree that a confident and relaxed guy who's sure of him self is better then a guy who's desperately trying to find the one. maybe ask your female friends if they know some one who might be the girl for you. And don't worry about the age thing. 30 years isn't old. Remember you'll be appealing to women who just might be looking for the options you provide (which are plenty and extremely generous of you).
     
  15. vince

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    The stop trying so hard and don't worry about it advice is what I agree with.

    I can tell you how it happened for me. I had lots of fun and plenty of girl friends and FWBs in my twenties and at 28 was starting to think I needed to move on to the next phase. One evening in the summer, I went to a party a friend's house and as things were winding down, I helped with the clean up. I was washing the dishes and started chatting with the
    woman doing the drying, and fell in love with her. We wound up with a house and kids and dogs and cats... the whole disaster. It was great.

    So you never know when love is going to come and bonk you over the head. But I think if you run around looking for it, it's pretty hard to find.
     
  16. B_thenakedgardener

    B_thenakedgardener New Member

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    the irony i find is that when i am in a relationship women are trying to get into my pants when i am single i can go for weeks without a sniff. its cyclic people fuck like bunnies in there 20's get married at 30 and divorced at 40 when you get to 35 all the non nutters are taken but they will be back on the market in 5 years or find an older woman.
     
  17. spoon

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    from what i'm reading, you're doing just fine. i think you should do just as your doing. let everyone you know that you are looking and if they know someone nice to introduce you. you get to meet people, get out, "relax" and you will meet someone.
     
  18. helgaleena

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    Make female friends. Quit trying to put yourself is some mental category. And yes, it is So a pity party. Single is not a bad thing.

    And I too believe this is not a womens issue.
     
  19. spoon

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    single is not a bad thing. i am single. and, comfortable with being single.
     
  20. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    I am more concerned that OP is only living his life "for the sake of" women. Putting women on pedestals as if they are somehow magical untouchable beings is not going to end in happiness. One must first live for himself unless he wishes to be a doormat paying child support for children that don't belong to him.

    I'm 29 and my life hasn't even started yet! If I never got married I'd have a lot of time to; I don't know, something called "living and improving my own life?"
     
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