Turning 40 (not now, but....)

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by titan1968, Aug 17, 2006.

  1. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    I'm a thirtysomething guy. Lately, I've been thinking about turning 40 and the impact it'll have on my relationships, my outlook on life,my career, etc. There are of course the dreaded bodily changes (greying of thebody hair, the paunch, the dry skin, etc.). The changes we go through can't be all bad, can they?

    I'm in great physical shape, I'm considered good looking, I have a lot of dreams/ plans, I'm an optimist and a people person. Thanks to the family and the friends I've met these past few years, I've grown tremendously as a person. So what's my problem? Why does turning 40 scare me? Is turning 40 as scary as turning 30?

    How was it for you, fellow members? How did you make the jump?

    Titan1968
     
  2. yhtang

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    A few days before I turned 40, I went out and shagged a few persons.

    A few days after I turned 40, I went out and shagged a few persons.

    I felt the intense pleasure both times around, so I am taking my 40's in my stride.

    However. I must admit my stamina (not just sex, but everything else) is not quite as it was when I was 20 years old. I can't quite do it three times a night three consecutive nights anymore. My eyes are beginning to require reading glasses as well.

    I console myself with the fact that, at least I grew old enough to reach 40 and beyond. Some people never live long enough to get to that age.

    My folks are in their 70's and are slowly growing senile. It is a strain on us, the children. I think I shall worry about life when I start to approach my 70's - definitely not right now.

    Hope this makes you feel better.
     
  3. davidjh7

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    Turning 40 for me was mostly a non-event---but many other unrelated bad things were going on in my life by that birthday, so turning 40 was minor by comparison. Turning 40 is no more or less traumatic than anything else you place importance on---if you believe turning 40 will ruin your life, it will. If you see it as just another birthday, then nothing will really change. If you see it as a birthday for relfection of how to improve the rest of your life, then it is a positive thing. Like anything else in life, it is how you deal with it, your attitude. Granted, in the gay world, turning 30 was a kiss of death, and turning 40 was placing you squarely in the troll category (at least, that was how I was told by other younger gay men was where I belonged...:rolleyes:) but that is OTHERS perception, which you can decide if you are going to believe or not. You are a decent guy it seems, have alot going for you above and below the waist, and have a great sense of humor, and a strong ego. I;d say you'll do fine as long as you don;t buy into the hype. MAKE it your best birthday ever--choose to, and it will be.
     
  4. mainer1

    mainer1 New Member

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    By the time I hit 40, my life was finally running well, I was in better shape mentally and physically than ever before. I didn't even really register the fact I was in my 40's until I was 41! Working out, my sex life were satisfying and fulfilling. I went back to college and took rigorous courses in the life sciences just to see if I could succeed in intellectual pursuits other than those related to my lifelong computer and network profession, and DID, quite well as a matter of fact. I just passed 50, and some of those slowdowns have begun, but nothing all at once. I dunno why, but I've felt so much better in life than when I was in my turbulent 20's and 30's....
     
  5. hung

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    Titan 1968 raises some great questions. How does one prepare? Then the next post by Yhtang clearly explains how to resolve these concerns. Simply put, we are advised to keep on living. Just because a certain day has passed on a Calendar does not mean that you have to change your lifestyle. I have been on this planet for some years and can certainly say that "I will continue to enjoy life" and I am well past sixty.

    Keep it Up and Keep it Happy!!!!!!
     
  6. DC_DEEP

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    As I approach that half-a-century mark, I still view birthdays the same way I always have:

    The only two options are: have another birthday, or have no more birthdays... and I don't mean simply not acknowledging them. As I still have goals and dreams, I choose the former. It's much easier on your psyche that way.
     
  7. CUBE

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    I understand. I too didn't really face 40 until 41. I feel good, but look in the mirror and wish "If I could just have my hair back"...I don't mind the face lines. I guess I feel when I'm 80 I'll look back and say at 40 I was a boy yet. Inside I swear I'm 30 but that does me no good. On the whole, it was less of a big deal then I imagined...the time certainly flys. Jump in man, the water is fine.
     
  8. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

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    I am closer to 60 then 50......lots closer. Physically I am not able to do the things I was at age 40, or evn 50. Age does take its toll. Not as sharp mentally either. But I do have something going for me....I am able to get up every day, not necessarily in the morning, but I am up and out of bed, and for the most part enjoy every day. In another post I stated I am bi-polar, so I do my best to remain positive and maintain a positive outlook on life, not to do so cheats yourself and those around you. Negative attitudes are extremely contagious, positive attitudes are not as contagious, and once a negative attitude is developed it is so much more difficult to turn around.

    This is one of those aforementioned posts where I do hope someone is able to learn something.
     
  9. Mr. Snakey

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    Im 46 And as far as the penis goes 46 is great! Give your cock a workout every day Eat right etc. :cool:
     
  10. DC_DEEP

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    Every year in my memory has presented some challenge or another. Some are more perplexing than others. All things considered, I'm lucky to have made it this far, so I look forward to every birthday. As far as I'm concerned, every birthday that rolls around marks 365 more reasons to celebrate. I've just never understood that dread and terror of some "landmark" birthday.
     
  11. jfrsndvs

    jfrsndvs Member

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    gee when I hit 40, I um felt the same as I did when I was 39, I didn't dread it any at all, it's just a silly ass number in my opinion, ok so I don't feel the same as I did in my 20's, that's ok, to me, there are too many other things in life to worry about than being 40, I have had gray hair coming in since I was 27, but hell, now that I have hit 40, what do you know, I still have hair on my head, I was able to live to see 40, so my next step is to live to see 50, I would rather live to see the next decade than be dead, sure the older you get, the more things will change in your life, it's up to you whether it's good things or bad things. those who are approaching 30 or 40 or 50 and older, be happy with the fact that you lived that long and don't let it get you down.
     
  12. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    :thinking: Isn't 40 the new 30? Seriously I wouldn't worry about sounds like your in great shape... look and feel good. Your optimistic . Follow your dreams and plans do the things that you feel like you maybe missing out on who cares what others think after all you don't want to grow old and wish you would have done things that you could have when you were younger. Grow older with gusto thats I try to do doesn't always work but Im happy for the most part and that's what counts. Granted those 20yr olds look great but we can't have it all or can we?:tounge-in-cheek: Take care of your health eat right quit smoking if you do :lol: and have your check ups. As I near 50 in a few yrs I am now facing diabeties :sigh: got to lose those extra pounds but I'll over come this as well as I did with acholisim. Sober for 15 yrs now. So in closing just enjoy yourself and have fun :party: pm's will be appreacated.
     
  13. DC_DEEP

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    Hahah, I've got that one beat. I started finding the gray hair at about age 15. After it turned completely gray, then it started turning loose. It's not gone, but much thinner than it used to be. But in the big scheme of things, how does that matter? It doesn't. I can still enjoy dinner with friends, and I can still fuck... the more the better. Even at age (almost) 48, I would be more inclined to need "anti-viagra" than Viagra. My partner sometimes calls me InstaWood. Some things get better with age.
     
  14. Matthew

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    I'd like to pretend that it was just a number and didn't mean anything, as I believe. But the truth is it did freak me out a little. I let it pass quietly instead of throwing the monumental bash I did at 30.
     
  15. fortiesfun

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    I'm within days of turning 50, and not without some trepidation. Mentioned this to my father this morning who said, "It is sure better than the alternative..."
     
  16. rawbone8

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    Forty was a breeze. I recently turned 50 and notice some differences, but I think it's a question of getting more exercise and sleep. I feel just as virile as I did in my 30's.

    I'm told I look 10-15 years younger than my age, which is just luck, a trait I inherited from my mother. She'll be 90 in a few months and looks no older than 75.
     
  17. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    :scratchchin: Guess you'll have to change your name to Fiftiesfun. Funny how time flies when having fun:sigh1:
     
  18. IsTHATReal

    IsTHATReal New Member

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    I was thinking about turning 40 also, decided to arrest my developement and not do it...lol...j/k.

    I think it's just a number, unless you make it more... the things you are talking about don't have to happen, their are plenty of 20-somethings out there with fat, grey, etc. I think you have the right idea though on staying fit and happy.

    I have found that now at 38.5+ that I am in an interesting place... I have great genes... real plus... that just helps. The next best thing is fitness, clean living and living right - low stress, sleep enough, eat right, etc.

    A few things I have found that work...

    Lotion for the skin
    Shaving/Removing body hair
    Hair Dye

    These three things can really work wonders... though I get asked all the time, "...how old are you if I might ask?" by people it seems weekly 3-4 times.

    Most important thing though is that I don't THINK about me being any age... I don't really do birthdays and haven't for years it just doesn't occur to me... last year I woke up, did all my daily activities and tasks... only to realize that even... oh yea... I turned 38 today...lol...oops I forgot, oh well.

    Anyway I plan on living forever and being drop dead gorgious so whats in a number anyway...
     
  19. chefman

    chefman Member

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    I turned 40 last December and have never felt more like a man in my life! 40 rocks!
     
  20. Mr. Snakey

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    Good for you my friend! I hope you have 50 more Great pics by the way:cool:
     
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