Turning women down

invisibleman

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I've gone a long time with having no succes with women at all. I was anxious, paranoid, withdrawn and couldn't formulate my thoughts. Now that this is over and I'm an extraverted, talkative narcisist and my workout's effects are showing, I'm getting a ton of attention and it's great!

..but now I'm in the position where I'm turning girls down and not just girls, but really sweet and awesome girls. I just can't. There's this girl who is awesome in every way, but I'm just not physically attracted to her in the least. It just doesn't work. She's messaging me a lot on facebook and was kinda clingy when I met her at the club last Saturday... which is kinda getting annoying.. but she's still a great girl.. and I just hate the fact that I've got to turn her down.

I don't think I'm god's gift to women and that they're massively missing out without me, that's really not it. I just really suck at disappointing people, even if it's slightly. And I just know how much it sucks to be turned down if you're really into someone.

What would the best, least hurtful way to turn her down be? Someone told me to just say 'I really like having a friend like you' but dunno if that's the best way to go?

There is NO easy way. You say in a nice way. "No, this isn't what I want." Leave it as that. No further explanation. Well, you should be nice and consistently firm in your decline. You don't want to be totally truthful if being truthful is gonna get you violence or your responses could peg you as a douche, an asshole, or (what-ever).


If you find yourself in the position of declining these women...stop offering or putting yourself out there to be offered. Whatever you are doing is getting you in that situation...figure it out and keep it in check.


 

blazblue

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I dunno, that could translate to, "I'm not attracted to you, I kinda wish you were prettier, coz you're cool."

Yeah, in cases concerning myself, I think I'll stick with my bullshit boyfriend story.

Honesty's still the best policy.
 

hud01

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The biggest thing is if you really aren't into her do it quick before she gets even more attached. Remember once you do it, there is no going back.
 

Mercurygirl

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Honesty's still the best policy.

You know, you're right, you really are, only I just can't muster the courage, nor heart, to imply that I find some guy unattractive. So I take the easy way out and have this strategy that has never failed me. I totally admit I'm lying chicken shit, but I'm a lying chicken shit with a heart.
 

Stilinsatiable11

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Just be honest and up front. Trust me, we appreciate that. I began texting another member from this site.... With the intent of meeting him, but as a woman I have to be cautious. He just quit talking to me and I have no idea why? Guess I wasn't doing it for him
 

easytoremember55

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I turned one down in a night club.

She cried. Cried a little harder. And I took her to a cab, negotiated with the cab driver and sent her on her way. Crying.

I was not down for "fooling around in the toilets" and she was not far off being too drunk to use the legs.

That was the second proposition for sex i've ever had from a female. And I turned it down. Haven't been laid in years...its like it created bad luck. Made me feel better about myself though.
 

bumrubber

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Be nice but clear -- no mixed or ambiguous signals.

I have to do this all the time. Go to a party with a bunch of drunk, horny, middle aged women as the only guy without a beer belly and you'll see what I mean.
 

Enid

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Be nice but clear -- no mixed or ambiguous signals.

I have to do this all the time. Go to a party with a bunch of drunk, horny, middle aged women as the only guy without a beer belly and you'll see what I mean.

wow. those must be some parties you go to.