1. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    Ok, so I went on my first date in a year and I came to the realization just from the actions of my date there is a possibility that he may be a top, and that would not be a problem for most except I am a top. So has anyone had any experience. Is this possible relationship doomed? I know we both are into each other on a sexual level but we naturally have a relaxation where we can just lie next to each other and talk for hours. Sex probably will not happen until the 4th date.
     
  2. mattbuddy

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    I had that happen to me too. We were both top and he said he would try to bottom for me. After a few tries, he said that I turned him to a vers. So that problem went away.
     
  3. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    I'm certainly no expert in gay relationships, but do the two of you have to define you sexual relationship with each other solely on who gets to penetrate whose ass? I'm not trying to be judgmental here. I understand that you are just throwing the question out there. But why write off a relationship that seems promising, just because there may be some psycho-sexual difficulties?

    Are neither of you willing to bottom for the other, ever?

    Anal sex is only one part of sexual intimacy. Would oral sex coupled with frottage work for most of the time, with you guys switching off bottoming the here and there the rest of the time?

    There are all sorts of possibilities. I suggest not giving up so early. Talk with him about it. Communication plus a strong desire to make things work can truly overcome some amazing obstacles. But you two need to talk it over.
     
  4. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I was once friends online with a 2-topped couple. They both ended up contacting me separately, asking if I was open to hooking up. I didn't, but it was weird in that they both approached me, because they knew that I'd be "respectful of (their) relationship" (meaning that they both know I'm very discreet), and that they really loved the other and didn't want to do anything to hurt them. Um... :confused:

    People also change though. I have a formerly TOP-ONLY!!! friend, who's now not even "vers", but fully a TOTAL bottom (recently telling me, "No, now, I don't even know how I ever got hard for ass"). As an aside, he was also formerly married to a woman for 14 years.
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    The best thing for you to do is both talk about your feelings and needs. I went out with someone once and neither of us were willing to bottom for the other. We found many other ways to have a good time together, including picking up a bottom boy at the bars and sharing him.
    Good Luck!
     
  6. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    Yeah, I sure the talk will come up eventually but I know I won't bottom for him. Not so soon anyway. We have only been on one date. I am not into sharing either. If I am not enough for a man then there is no point
     
  7. Countryguy63

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    Hey MovingForward,

    Heck no, it's not doomed. I'm not against bottoming, but I have not been able to. Probably psychological, but that's another story (posted about it a couple of years ago)
    Anyway, the one long term bf that I had was also a top. He tried bottoming once, but it hurt him too much too. However, there are soo many other fun activities. Penetration with a cock is only one aspect. Now, if either he or you has to have that, then that's something that you guys will have to work out together.

    Don't doom the relationship based on this one aspect.

    Good Luck
     
  8. matt121matt121

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    I'd say don't judge the relationship this early.

    Also could you explain more about what the actions of your date were that showed the possibility that he may be a top?

    I would be really interested to find that out, so I'd know what to look for in my future dates...

    Have you ever tried to bottom for him?

    That would be the fair thing to do, since he was willing to bottom for you, and you never know you might just enjoy it and it could be a whole new sexual adventure for both of you...

    I definitely wouldn't want to define a relationship based on who penetrates whose ass...but if it were a situation where we were totally sexually incompatible then it might be a problem, though in my case It would probably be if I wanted to date a guy who only had an interest in being a 100% bottom, I mean I like to top, but I definitely have been really liking getting fucked lately too, so there's no way that I could live with giving that up permanently...

    I agree there has to be some flexibility, I really prefer guys who are vers best, as I have found that tops who have bottomed at some point make better tops...and the mystery of not knowing who is doing who can be hot...

    I agree that anal sex is only a part of sexual intimacy, and I could go with not doing it super often if I was being loved in other ways, but I don't think I would want to give it up totally...


    Yea this is always something to watch out for, I think it would be hard to have a real 2 topped couple relationship, if neither guy was willing to be versatile, as that just leaves too much open for the guys to want to explore individually..

    This sorta sounds like what I'm turning into, though I don't really like it...since I definitely don't want to be the "women" of a relationship, but I can't deny that I do like getting fucked...Its been a while since I've had the chance to just do an all out fucking on a guy, so as much as I probably still like it...there is a part of me that just likes to get fucked...especially if the guy really knows what he's doing...and has a big cock...lol...like I mentioned a while back in some posts about getting fucked by a guy that I'd been lusting after for years....


    That sounds hot, to get picked up by a 2 top couple and just get pounded by two guys at once...one question: How do you know the guy your picking up is a bottom boy? did they ever complain that there were going to be two of you fucking him?

    Did you guys ever double penetrate the bottom boy?



    So you never want to bottom for him? or just not early on in the relationship? Yea I would perfer to not share either but if I had to share it would definitely have to be in a way like nudeyorker said where we both pick out the guy together, and do him together...I would definitely never want one of those what you do when your away from me i don't want to know about it kind of open relationships....
     
  9. nudeyorker

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    In NY you learn to cut to the chase...before too many cocktails have been consumed, I hate fu**ing drunks. As a rule if you lay out the scenario before hand, no one gets disappointed. As far as the DP issue...I think there are more power bottoms in porn than in real life...because I've only done it a few times, but I don't have a good time if I suspect that the bottom is in discomfort or pain.
     
  10. matt121matt121

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    Cool Cool...yea I don't like sex when I'm totally trashed...I mean Its ok to be tipsy, but want to still be conscious enough to enjoy it, instead of just being limp and feel like I'm getting used....

    I'd be curious to try it sometime...but I think I'd also be scared that it would make me loose and could do some permanent damage...

    I'm glad to hear that you don't have a good time if you think the bottom is in pain, because I was once with a guy who wanted to fuck me over and over and over, before really giving me the chance to recover from the previous time...I wasn't such a big fan of that...since prior to him...I was really only use to getting fucked like one time a night...and sometimes that can definitely be enough....
     
  11. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    Though the last time was well over a decade ago, this is an experience I have had several times. I am a top who just can't bottom for anyone. My anatomy for reasons unknown will just not do it.

    There is really little difference between the encounter of two tops and two bottoms. Two bottoms tend to expect the other guy to top because it is their comfort zone. Two tops have the same problem. It is not that it can't be made to work, it is more like a natural part of your being to which you are trying to make changes. Possible, but it is very unlikely he anything that would last a duration because you would tend to feel more comfortable in bing a top.

    I would say that a great friendship is not only possible, but it will give you a common laught to share. . .
     
  12. joeweekend

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    I say you get on Craigslist and say "Two Tops Need Two Bottoms".

    You'll get a boatload of volunteers. Then you and your BF can line up the bottoms side by side, and you two make out while fucking them.
     
  13. matt121matt121

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    Have you ever seen a doctor to make sure there isn't anything wrong down there? But I guess its like anything were all just wired differently...

    That sounds hot, and you never know, you could find a couple that consists of two bottoms and make it a regular thing!!! Or could just become one big foursome...all move in together and become a whole new definition of gay relationship....
     
  14. Explorer

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    The two top thing can work out. There are plenty of ways to satisfy sexual needs other then penetration. After you've been together for a bit he may surprise you and try to bottom. Then there you go, lol... I've tried it but it's not for me. My bf is a vers bottom, at first he use to tell me that he's losing his topping abilities, lol... But now he'll let me know that he can't wait to feel me slide up in him.

    Before I met my bf I met this top and we would have some serious oral sessions. One night while I was giving him head I started playing with his ass, by the next time we got together, he asked if I had a condom cause he wanted to bottom and wanted me to be his first. I tore that ass up and he still emails me even after I've explained that I'm in a relationship he still wants me to fuck him.

    So you never know what may happen with this guy...
     
  15. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    At one point I raised my leg on a bench to tie my shoe, thinking better do that then bend over and he came up behind me and pretended he was going to fuck me. Furthermore while dancing he never turned around and danced with his butt to me, and I wouldn't either for fear he might think I am a bottom.

    Ive tried bottoming before and it never works out. Believe me I tried because of course plenty of time thinking if there was something wrong with me, but I just cant seem to do it. You guys are right in one aspect, I cant judge a relationship on sex.

    I do not believe in open relationships.
     
  16. matt121matt121

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    Yea thats one of my fears currently, that I'm loosing my topping abilities. Do you ever let him top anyone else? Or is his only option to do like the thigh fucking thing? I mean that can be hot but its not the same as real fucking...Thats hot that he's all about getting fucked now...sounds like you might have turned him into a real bottom rather than a vers bottom...


    Thats HOT!!, that you turned a top into a bottom...it just proves that once you open yourself up for exploration you never know what might happen...and I've found that tops who have bottomed at one point or another make better tops, since they know how it feels to be on the other end...

    I never really thought about this in this way before, you guys are so educational...I mean I sometimes do like when guys dance right behind me, but never thought that this might make them think that I was more likely to be a bottom...I knew someguys think that youre more of a bottom if your the guy whose getting cuddled rather than the guy who is doing the cuddling...
     
  17. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    Thats my thing, I like both. I like to shake my ass when dancing. When it comes to cuddle, I like to be held. Second date tonight. He is definately a top. I will do my best to make him my bottom, any suggestions on lube? I currently do not own any.
     
  18. B_thickjohnny

    B_thickjohnny New Member

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    I've been in this situation but both being bottoms. We got into bed not realizing it at first and it began looking like synchronized swimming. We managed it but didn't go out again.
     

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  19. Explorer

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    "Yea thats one of my fears currently, that I'm loosing my topping abilities. Do you ever let him top anyone else? Or is his only option to do like the thigh fucking thing? I mean that can be hot but its not the same as real fucking...Thats hot that he's all about getting fucked now...sounds like you might have turned him into a real bottom rather than a vers bottom..."

    I've opted 2x's to have a threesome where he can top. The first time he wanted the dude to fuck him. The guy was clearly a bottom and wanted to be fucked not fuck. This guy was a guy I had hooked up with a few months before I met my bf. The second guy he actually hooked up with while at my house using my pc. Before the guy arrived we had a clear understanding that he was going to top and not be topped. We had this fantasy of running a train, he tops the guy and I top him. Situation occurred and my bf ended up wanting to be topped. So we had a huge argument and the guy got scared that I was gonna knock him out, hehehe... and left. I try to bottom but like MovingForward said it doesn't work for me, but I do keep trying. I had a intestinal disorder when I was younger and they had to insert a tube up my ass, so trust me it was not a pleasant experience for a kid at 12yo! My issue is I gotta get passed that experience and loosen up so to speak and all the lube in the world is not helping either, lol... Plus my man won't try and ease in, he's trying shove it in, lol... and he's def on the thick side!

    "Thats HOT!!, that you turned a top into a bottom...it just proves that once you open yourself up for exploration you never know what might happen...and I've found that tops who have bottomed at one point or another make better tops, since they know how it feels to be on the other end..."

    Yea he's def cool. He's told me he won't bottom for anyone else. He's one of those guys who doesn't hook up much with guys cause he works all the time and he's really not into putting himself out there, so he's def not the hoe'n type. I got attracted to him cause he's an Irish redhead and I always loved redheads, that was a fetish I had to explore with... He's respectful of my relationship I swear I think he's hoping that I would breakdown and hit him up, but I'm not gonna cheat on my man no matter how freaking horny I am, lol...
     
  20. nudeyorker

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    Eros original formula...a few drops and you are in!
     
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