Type You Date vs. Type You Marry

[B_spotted_duck]

I have a coworker who is fit to be tied with one of his best friends. The man is a bit shy of 60 but insists upon dating women in their 20's but cant seem to understand why they have NOTHING in common and why it never works out. DUH!

If he's 60-ish and the girls are that young, what attracts the girls to him? money?

 

[B_spotted_duck]

Girl, I once dated one of those who did NOT want me to go with him to the gym. His whole body was like granite wrapped in silk. I met him online. It was about three weeks before I met him in person. The whole time I knew him he complained that I was 20 pounds lighter in person than in my photo, and was sorry I was continuing to pursue my weight loss. He fed me things like lasagna and duck. He met me for incredibly late dinners where he ate salad. He eventually stopped returning my calls because I just wasn't fat enough for him. He said, "You're a beautiful girl, very pretty. But you were off the hook with 20 more pounds."

Really? So I guess they're out there.

He was a fetishist, i guess. i have a friend who has a really powerful fantasy about feeding a woman until she grows to be hugely obese... none of the women he has slept with since i knew him have been fat (well, okay, one or two were...) usually he is too hung up on what people will think of the woman they see him with to really go for what he likes.

 

[Jovial]

This is a question for eveybody. :smile: Is there a physical type that you enjoy dating; but when it comes to settling down with THE ONE you prefer something else?

Do all men think like this? Are there women who date one physical type, yet marry another intentionally? Is this just a straight male phenomena or do gays and bi's do it too?

If I am looking for a woman to marry and have kids with, which is usually what I am looking for, then some qualities are more important. This is for two reasons. I would want my kids to have favorable qualities like intelligent, tall, athletic, etc. And I would want the mother to be a good mother. To be a good mother she would have to be a good role model and have qualities to handle kids, for example, patience.

If I wanted someone just for a short-term relationship, I would care less about these things. I wouldn't care if she was shorter. I wouldn't care as much about how she took care of herself. That would be more important with kids (the role model thing). If she hated kids it wouldn't matter.

But the thing is I see a lot of women that I'm physically attracted to, even though logically I don't like them. Usually my logic filters out the women that don't have long-term marriage potential. I guess it comes down to long-term stability that I'm looking for in someone to marry and have kids with.

 

[naughty]

If I am looking for a woman to marry and have kids with, which is usually what I am looking for, then some qualities are more important. This is for two reasons. I would want my kids to have favorable qualities like intelligent, tall, athletic, etc. And I would want the mother to be a good mother. To be a good mother she would have to be a good role model and have qualities to handle kids, for example, patience.

If I wanted someone just for a short-term relationship, I would care less about these things. I wouldn't care if she was shorter. I wouldn't care as much about how she took care of herself. That would be more important with kids (the role model thing). If she hated kids it wouldn't matter.

But the thing is I see a lot of women that I'm physically attracted to, even though logically I don't like them. Usually my logic filters out the women that don't have long-term marriage potential. I guess it comes down to long-term stability that I'm looking for in someone to marry and have kids with.

Jovial,

You can winnow your list down all you want and at the end of the day you may find your hearts desire and it still not work out. We each bring ourselves to the table. The other person does the same. It is the daily working at it and the ability to be realistically flexible about things we can not control which may serve us best in the long run...

 

[Jovial]

Jovial,

You can winnow your list down all you want and at the end of the day you may find your hearts desire and it still not work out. We each bring ourselves to the table. The other person does the same. It is the daily working at it and the ability to be realistically flexible about things we can not control which may serve us best in the long run...

I understand what you're saying I think. That you have to just take a chance at some point and then work from there. But there seems to be lots of people that do that and end up divorced and/or doing a terrible job as parents.

What are some examples of "things we can not control"?