Types of gays

[MarkLondon]

What does "just gay sexually" mean? Isn't gay defined by your sexual preferences?

Well there is a "gay culture" too, which most men who have sex with men don't join.

 

[houtx48]

why would you do that to a woman...it's really not fair to her....grow up

 

[Industrialsize]

Gay men don't,as a rule, "sleep" with women

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Am I the only one who understand the OP? He enjoys men but would like to have a family and a wife, there is nothing wrong with that, his primary preferance is for male, but his family instinct is taking over.

 

[bfm01]

Sounds like you have some growing up to do first. This is serious stuff and can really mess an innocent person's life up!

 

[Industrialsize]

Am I the only one who understand the OP? He enjoys men but would like to have a family and a wife, there is nothing wrong with that, his primary preferance is for male, but his family instinct is taking over.

I understand him perfectly.........His sexual preference and the "vision" he has for his life are incongruent. It sounds like a "fertile row to hoe" with a therapist for clarification, absent that, it's a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[marleyisalegend]

i dont understand your point from that......and im just not a fan of a gay man ruining a family just because he cant decide what he wants. theres no point to it.

How is that any different from straight men that ruin families? You act like straight couples and their children are just frolicking through La La Land. Nope. They're divorced, they've committed suicide, they're in therapy, they're in gangs, they abuse drugs and alcohol.

I get it, you're one of those people who thinks heteros treat marriage like a sacred...I dunno...sacred something and gays would only come along and mess all that up.

If you get up off the throne (toilet) you'll see that your shit smells just as bad.

Am I the only one who understand the OP? He enjoys men but would like to have a family and a wife, there is nothing wrong with that, his primary preferance is for male, but his family instinct is taking over.

People understand him, they're just being judgmental pricks who act like heteros just go around making families and sticking around to raise those families. Lord knows straight people aren't alcoholics and NEVER beat their children or cheat on their spouses. Those are all gay traits.

 

[nudeyorker]

OK here is a little food for thought... Have you taken into consideration what said future wife and kids want in a husband and father? "My parents got married because my gay dad wanted a family, but my mom got tired of him stepping out, so they got divorced and now my mom is in therapy because she blames her self, and we get to see dad and his boy friend every other weekend" It's a great life for all of us."

 

[marleyisalegend]

OK here is a little food for thought... Have you taken into consideration what said future wife and kids want in a husband and father? "My parents got married because my gay dad wanted a family, but my mom got tired of him stepping out, so they got divorced and now my mom is in therapy because she blames her self, and we get to see dad and his boy friend every other weekend" It's a great life for all of us."

What about men who DON'T step out of their marriage? What about open marriages? I'm well aware of the games some gay men play, but you guys are acting like that's the ONLY kind of gay person.

I know this may sound crazy, but some gay people have morals and ethics and a conscience. Crazy isn't it?

Here's a little food for thought. If it was a straight man saying he's interested in a female at work wouldn't you just say "that's natural, it's okay to have desires for other women as long as you don't act on them"?

Some of you are letting your homophobia hang out.

 

[jeff black]

What about men who DON'T step out of their marriage? What about open marriages? I'm well aware of the games some gay men play, but you guys are acting like that's the ONLY kind of gay person.

I know this may sound crazy, but some gay people have morals and ethics and a conscience. Crazy isn't it?

Marley, I appreciate you attempt at offering some gay perspective and standing up for the fact that men regardless of sexual orientation can be both assholes and amazing men.

However, in this case, I think the argument is for the idea that if the OP is a gay man, can he truly find sexual satisfaction with a woman, being willing to give up his sexual desire for men so that the family can be together? I'm sure that some can. However, it also makes sense that one's urges might be too much to avoid and this woman/family may not be able to handle the father stepping out with another man.

Does that make sense or clear up some of the perspectives being said? I wouldnt' say they are being homophobic in this case.

 

[Stephenmass]

IF, and only if, your to be wife (later if not in the works) knows that you are to be sleeping with men also, and you have been honest with her about that, then I think it's OK, especially moreso if she is bi herself. But you claim to be 100% gay which is confusing. Only if you mislead her and others and live a str8 life (at least in public) to get married would your desire to have children be possible. I don't like labels much myself, but assuming your to be wife doesn't know and you do not tell her anything (therefore she assumes you are str8 because you can perform with a woman) is an outright lie. It is not fair to her at all. Not at all.

Try to put yourself in her place. You get married, have kids, and 10-15 years down the lines she realizes your gay. Now she has wasted many years because she has had no knowledge of your being gay.

It's wrong.

What I do understand as a gay man, is your desire to have children. Gay men cannot have that without adopting (I know people love their adopted children) but biologically they will not be your own children. You biologically seem to want your own children and have to "use" some deceit and "fool" a woman until she bears your children? It's not right man. You get what you want and she gets what out of it? A straight woman deserves a straight spouse if that is what she thinks you are. To not give that to her is wasting HER years which I think is very selfish.

 

[nudeyorker]

What about men who DON'T step out of their marriage? What about open marriages? I'm well aware of the games some gay men play, but you guys are acting like that's the ONLY kind of gay person.Of course, but If it's an open relationship and he's said he prefers to sleep with men (it does say 1OO% gay?) Then be honest with the would be wife. No woman in her right mind is going to agree to this unless he's loaded.

I know this may sound crazy, but some gay people have morals and ethics and a conscience. Crazy isn't it?Crazy is a good word for this whole thread

Here's a little food for thought. If it was a straight man saying he's interested in a female at work wouldn't you just say "that's natural, it's okay to have desires for other women as long as you don't act on them"?Apples and oranges pal. saying you are interested in someone and a gay man who wants to get married and start at family is a tad different.

Some of you are letting your homophobia hang out.

No me...as long as he is 100% honest with his wife and children. Otherwise he's just another statistic of men who want their cake and eat it too

 

[marleyisalegend]

No me...as long as he is 100% honest with his wife and children. Otherwise he's just another statistic of men who want their cake and eat it too

I understand that, and I LOATHE downlow men who sneak around behind their wives back, but a lotta people are taking like gay men are hyenas and as soon as their dick gets hard they have to stick it in something. No sense of right and wrong. That's a little irritating.

 

[pepsiboy]

Wow, I sense a whole lot of negativity on this topic. I think it's important that anyone be true to themselves and to their significant other. (ie: not driving around the block just because the truck turns both ways) I think that we often view sexuality as a bucket of "straight" or a bucket of "gay", and I think that bisexuals have difficultly placing themselves into a bucket because they are C, all of the above. Kinsey might be right, that sexuality is by degree.

For me, I grew up thinking I was straight until about 9th grade, I realized I was chasing after the guys more. I was gay for awhile, but have come to mentally, emotionally desire a str8 relationship but physically desire a gay relationship. That being said, I'm 96% gay. I like a woman's body, but I don't know if I would be all into it, especially the pussy cat.

Recently, a bi friend loaned me a DVD that really changed the way that I felt about bisexuals. It's a Russian film, called YOU I LOVE. It's about a bisexual guy who struggles with his sexuality and basically ends up living happily ever after with both his gay partner and female partner and having a baby. Granted, it's in a perfect world - but I have now come to realize I would definitely be happy in that sort of situation. Granted, there is a lot to overcome (which the movie touches upon) - both sexually, mentally, and jealously wise. My friend and I have had many a late night conversations on the topic of bisexuality. Yes, bisexual people can "pick one" but it's much more complex than that, not by choice, but by the choices that are placed upon them by friends, family, society, and the desire to love someone.

 

[Corius]

There are all kinds of bisexuality also. I accept that label only because there is no better one. My first relationship was with a male; we were just 15 and horny as can be. We thought of ourselves as pretty regular guys and in the back of our minds we expected to marry some day. But, before that happened we found that our friendship had developed to the point where we were becoming physical in expressing our emotional tie with eachother. The sex when it happened was the ultimate expression of our love for each other; it was fantastic and only became better over time. My introduction to the realm of sexual relationship with a woman influenced me mightily; I was hooked. But, in the fall of that year I was back with my first love. I had two other long term relationships with men and two with women before I finally met the person I was willing and eager to spend the rest of my life with. I have never cheated on any partner. Whenever I was in a relationship I gave myself fully to that relationship. Yet, after many years of marriage I remain grateful for having experienced the love of both men and women. And of all my former partners, male and female, I can say that I loved them many years ago and I love them still.

Life presents us with choices. In my view the man who insists onf being sexually active on both sides of his sexuality is only asking for confusion and trouble down the line.

 

[Ferocio]

Im st8,,,its just my dick that is bi.

 

[Stephenmass]

Wow, I sense a whole lot of negativity on this topic. I think it's important that anyone be true to themselves and to their significant other. (ie: not driving around the block just because the truck turns both ways) I think that we often view sexuality as a bucket of "straight" or a bucket of "gay", and I think that bisexuals have difficultly placing themselves into a bucket because they are C, all of the above. Kinsey might be right, that sexuality is by degree.

For me, I grew up thinking I was straight until about 9th grade, I realized I was chasing after the guys more. I was gay for awhile, but have come to mentally, emotionally desire a str8 relationship but physically desire a gay relationship. That being said, I'm 96% gay. I like a woman's body, but I don't know if I would be all into it, especially the pussy cat.

Recently, a bi friend loaned me a DVD that really changed the way that I felt about bisexuals. It's a Russian film, called YOU I LOVE. It's about a bisexual guy who struggles with his sexuality and basically ends up living happily ever after with both his gay partner and female partner and having a baby. Granted, it's in a perfect world - but I have now come to realize I would definitely be happy in that sort of situation. Granted, there is a lot to overcome (which the movie touches upon) - both sexually, mentally, and jealously wise. My friend and I have had many a late night conversations on the topic of bisexuality. Yes, bisexual people can "pick one" but it's much more complex than that, not by choice, but by the choices that are placed upon them by friends, family, society, and the desire to love someone.

Pepsi, I mostly agree with you but that said, how would you yourself feel if your partner say was only ("You said 96% gay) 4% into you? How would you feel if you had a relationship as you describe above being the one that is only 4% desired? In a relationship of three, how would you like to be the one that is not that much desired by the other two? After a bit, I'd think you would feel you deserve better than that (and she does!!) and leave. In a relationship, at least with me, it's all or nothing.