Ugh!

[B_Lightkeeper]

So much for the "sticky" posts!:tongue:

 

[BarebackJack]

Maybe the "H" stands for "Halitosis"???

 

[Hatched69]

Maybe the "H" stands for "Halitosis"???

No, the "H" stands for "h"elp this thread...
(not that I'm any help)


Recently my interactive, rocket-science, all-in-one remote decided to beep low battery warning at the same time my phone rang. Same annoying beep for both. In my state of near-unconsciousness I attempted to answer the remote control. The phone didn't stop ringing and the remote control got thrown across the room at the precise moment and location my wife entered the room to evaluate the commotion. It was a "doghouse" weekend....

 

[Gillette]

Recently my interactive, rocket-science, all-in-one remote decided to beep low battery warning at the same time my phone rang. Same annoying beep for both. In my state of near-unconsciousness I attempted to answer the remote control. The phone didn't stop ringing and the remote control got thrown across the room at the precise moment and location my wife entered the room to evaluate the commotion. It was a "doghouse" weekend....

Timing really is everything.


I spent an increasingly frustrated five minutes trying to gain entry to my bf's SUV tried all the doors, rear hatch...nothing. Slowly dawned on me that it was too clean to be his, peeked inside, not his vehicle. I had parked in the next aisle. Many fervent prayers that no one witnessed it

 

[mephistopheles]

Ever been so sleepy (or drunk or high) that you did something like this?

Earlier this week I poured milk into my dogs bowl, and water, for the dog's bowel, on my cereal. Though in my defense I keep my dogs water in a pitcher similiar to a milk jug.

 

[baseball99]

Timing really is everything.


I spent an increasingly frustrated five minutes trying to gain entry to my bf's SUV tried all the doors, rear hatch...nothing. Slowly dawned on me that it was too clean to be his, peeked inside, not his vehicle. I had parked in the next aisle. Many fervent prayers that no one witnessed it

I did damn close to the same thing the other day. My buddies locker is right next to mine and a lot of time we throw stuff in whatever locker.....We were both workin 36 hour shifts and at the end we went and showered. While we were getting dressed i grabbed the wrong keys and proceeded to drive his truck home.....we have the same truck.....sadly enough i didnt realize it until i was 20 mins from the hospital when i realized the radio stations were changed

 

[B_big dirigible]

No, never done that. I have worried a bit about what would happen if I grabbed a can of Rustoleum gray wrinkle spray paint or WD-40 instead of a can of Raid. Not that Raid works anymore - the stuff is now so safe you have to hit the bugs with the can to even slow them down.

 

[Gillette]

Worth bumping.

 

[Pecker]

I'll bet very few of us could claim that we never put salt on the oatmeal or sugar on the cucumbers.

 

[Onslow]

I'll bet very few of us could claim that we never put salt on the oatmeal or sugar on the cucumbers.

I have never put sugar on a cucumber--at least not the ones grown in the garden. The live male cucumbers are another matter entirely.

As to my oatmeal, it receives Equal, milk, cinnamon and raisins--not sure if I ever or never put salt on/in it.





Sugar on a cucumber? Is that a southern delicacy?

 

[STYLYUNG]

Have you heard about the prostitute that didn't know the difference between putty and vasoline? All of her windows fell out!!! :biggrin1:

 

[Pecker]

A doctor walks into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tries to write with it.

Realizing his mistake, he looks at the thermometer with annoyance and says, "Well that's just great... some asshole's got my pen!"