Ugly guys

36DD

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First off, of course I'm going to look at the good-looking guy...but if he can't make me laugh, show me respect or treat me like a lady, then he isn't worth my time. The girls that won't date anyone unless he's an Adonnis aren't worth your time either, so don't even concern yourself with them. Sexy is not just appearance, it's a mind-set as well...I think the sexiest thing in a man is the way he thinks.
 

canuck_pa

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"Ugly" is such a strong and hurtful word. Has anyone ever told you, to your face, that your ugly? I have. Being one of the "Ugly" guys, I'm thankful I have a pleasing personality. I have no expectations when I meet guys I find attractive. I don't have to try to flirt or act in a way I think he'll like because I know he won't be interested. I can be myself. I can carry on an intellectual conversation about most things. I never ask anyone if they'd like to come home with me and yet surprisingly I'm not a virgin. I'm thoughtful, considerate and put my friends before myself. And that means I make sure the men I have sex with have a very good time.

Attractive people should be glad there's a few of us ugly ones around. If we weren't here who'd know they were attractive?

Thankfully not all attractive people are so self absorbed that they only look at the the thin veneer that covers us. Good looks only go so far if your an asshole.
 

Kassokilleri2ff

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I believe I may once have suggested you search the net for the term 'PUA' or 'Pick Up Artist'. Clearly you've ignored my advice. It answers your question handily. If you can't find anything under those parameters, search for 'Average Frustrated Chump' or 'AFC'. Those terms should lead you to the PUA communities. Avoid the misogynistic ones, and the ones who are prejudiced against western women. They largely discuss one night stands, but there are plenty who are looking for love, and the information is totally applicable to that process. this time, you really should do the search.

Well i dont recall ever hearing of this but ill take a look at it. Seems interesting. As for if anyone ever called me ugly, sure lotsa times. I dont think a girl ever has, but then again, i never talked to any girls untill like highschool, and even then, just the few that i dated, and maybe thier friends.
 

whatireallywant

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"Ugly" is such a strong and hurtful word. Has anyone ever told you, to your face, that your ugly? I have. Being one of the "Ugly" guys, I'm thankful I have a pleasing personality. I have no expectations when I meet guys I find attractive. I don't have to try to flirt or act in a way I think he'll like because I know he won't be interested. I can be myself. I can carry on an intellectual conversation about most things. I never ask anyone if they'd like to come home with me and yet surprisingly I'm not a virgin. I'm thoughtful, considerate and put my friends before myself. And that means I make sure the men I have sex with have a very good time.

Attractive people should be glad there's a few of us ugly ones around. If we weren't here who'd know they were attractive?

Thankfully not all attractive people are so self absorbed that they only look at the the thin veneer that covers us. Good looks only go so far if your an asshole.

Yes, I have been told that I was ugly. I was barked at when I walked down the halls when I was in school. They didn't like my personality either.

Fortunately I look a bit better now as an adult. :smile: People get along better with my personality now too. Part of that is where I've been living. I do better in cities than in small towns.
 

vibratingfinger

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many. many many many. many times a man (or woman) overachieves and becomes ultra successful to fill some perceived inadequacy. some of the most successful, attractive men i know are riddled with self-doubt.

i have also seen gorgeous men with ugly women. love is complex, relationships are complex, and peoples' perception of beauty is complex, too.

disagree with that 100%. I'm not good at detecting insecurities, but I generally find that the more a person is successful the more confident she/he is.
 

viking1

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disagree with that 100%. I'm not good at detecting insecurities, but I generally find that the more a person is successful the more confident she/he is.

You have a valid point. However, I did just what Snoozan said some insecure people do. I engulfed myself in my work and pushed myself to be the best at what I do. I did this due to lack of other things in my life and due to my lack of self confidence. I pushed myself to be the best mechanic I could be. I got to the point I was thinking about work all the time and couldn't enjoy anything.
My mind was on my work every waking minute. That's how I kept up with all that stuff. I wasted many years that I could have enjoyed life.

I finally realized this, and said to hell with it. Now I try hard not to think about what's happening at work when I'm off. I still needed to work on this and my self confidence. I am getting better, but I still need some reasurance. When I say I have no confidence except to work on something I am not exaggerating. I am better than I was, though. Maybe, just maybe I can overcome this before my time is up.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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Confidence! Less attractive people have confidence. Or they are funny...there are 'ugly' comedians that get some hot women.

Mainly though, its all about confidence...oh and money!
 

Principessa

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Well Iggy Pop is ugly and I do him in a heartbeat... I can't say exactly what it is but he's just so fucking raw... very sexy, but ugly nonetheless
There is such a thing as uglysexy; both men and women can have it.

I have never dated a classically handsome or gorgeous man. I date nice guys who like me for me. At first glance my friends tend to pull me aside and say why him? You could do better. . . until they get to know him and realize he is a terrific human being.

I did once date a very hot guy with a lot of money; but he was a total jerk who treated like crap. Since then I tend to avoid wealthy good-looking men. I know, that's weird but you know what they say about being burned once. :redface:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
 

viking1

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I did once date a very hot guy with a lot of money; but he was a total jerk who treated like crap. Since then I tend to avoid wealthy good-looking men. I know, that's weird but you know what they say about being burned once. :redface:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


No, I don't think it's weird. I wouldn't even bother to pursue a really beautiful rich woman. I would be thinking about being taken advantage of in advance. There's no way I'd be her equal, and she'd walk all over me. Most likely she wouldn't wipe her feet on me to begin with, but just in case, I'd be very wary. What you said make perfect sense to me.

Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder, and love really is blind.
 

hypolimnas

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"Ugly" is such a strong and hurtful word. Has anyone ever told you, to your face, that your ugly? I have. Being one of the "Ugly" guys, I'm thankful I have a pleasing personality.
I found out at school that the guys who were not at all conventionally attractive were often very loyal friends, talented, bright, massively hung, or had the cutest asses, one of them was very rich too.

In fact some of the most extremely insecure people, that I have had relationships with, have been the most attractive. One or two of them have been pretty ugly once I got below the surface.
 

tripod

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This thread makes me sad... :confused:

I just got introduced to thid really amazing looking woman who is well bred and highly intelligent. She only really saw me from maybe 50 yards away the whole night and when I got within a few feet of her, I could just fucking hear her expectations slink to the ground. She changed her body language and told me that she had to go as soon as she got a good look at me... oh well... that's life!

Some other person said that the beautiful people should be thankful for people like us, there is some truth to that. I'm not ugly to the point where it would elicit sympathy from people but I have unconventional looks that have little to no value in the South. I look like I am from a foreign country and not a good one like Germany or Spain. I think about my lack of looks alot, I used to be pre-occupied with it when I found out that I was ugly... it was initially shocking and quite disturbing, but the pain has dissolved into a low ache that does not tear at my inner being anymore.

I say fuck it, I am gonna try and enjoy the rest of my life, even if it is alone and without the affections of a female. This crap has taken enough of my days from me already.
 

viking1

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This thread makes me sad... :confused:

I just got introduced to thid really amazing looking woman who is well bred and highly intelligent. She only really saw me from maybe 50 yards away the whole night and when I got within a few feet of her, I could just fucking hear her expectations slink to the ground. She changed her body language and told me that she had to go as soon as she got a good look at me... oh well... that's life!

Some other person said that the beautiful people should be thankful for people like us, there is some truth to that. I'm not ugly to the point where it would elicit sympathy from people but I have unconventional looks that have little to no value in the South. I look like I am from a foreign country and not a good one like Germany or Spain. I think about my lack of looks alot, I used to be pre-occupied with it when I found out that I was ugly... it was initially shocking and quite disturbing, but the pain has dissolved into a low ache that does not tear at my inner being anymore.

I say fuck it, I am gonna try and enjoy the rest of my life, even if it is alone and without the affections of a female. This crap has taken enough of my days from me already.

I am very surprised to find as many on here that feel the same way I do.
Interestingly, none of them look ugly to me. Most are, in my opinion, are better looking than I am.

It's all about self image. I just don't know how one would rectify that.
 

Principessa

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I hear you Tripod!

I can't tell you how many times I have been rejected on sites like www.match.com and www.eharmony.com after sending my face pic to a guy. This after chatting for a bit and seeming to have things in common...:frown1: Oh well, I know I'm not a beauty queen but I usually pass for cute or at the very least pretty. Maybe I just don't photograph well. :redface: :confused:

This thread makes me sad... :confused:

I just got introduced to thid really amazing looking woman who is well bred and highly intelligent. She only really saw me from maybe 50 yards away the whole night and when I got within a few feet of her, I could just fucking hear her expectations slink to the ground. She changed her body language and told me that she had to go as soon as she got a good look at me... oh well... that's life!

Some other person said that the beautiful people should be thankful for people like us, there is some truth to that. I'm not ugly to the point where it would elicit sympathy from people but I have unconventional looks that have little to no value in the South. I look like I am from a foreign country and not a good one like Germany or Spain. I think about my lack of looks alot, I used to be pre-occupied with it when I found out that I was ugly... it was initially shocking and quite disturbing, but the pain has dissolved into a low ache that does not tear at my inner being anymore.

I say fuck it, I am gonna try and enjoy the rest of my life, even if it is alone and without the affections of a female. This crap has taken enough of my days from me already.
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

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many. many many many. many times a man (or woman) overachieves and becomes ultra successful to fill some perceived inadequacy. some of the most successful, attractive men i know are riddled with self-doubt.

disagree with that 100%. I'm not good at detecting insecurities, but I generally find that the more a person is successful the more confident she/he is.

I don't think Snoozan is necessarily denying that success can and often does boost confidence.
She's just saying that many of the most motivated to succeed are driven by insecurity that their eventual success does not vanquish.
That leaves lots of space for the group you're talking about.
 

Biggie77

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I feel your pain (the most recent posters). I am by no means ugly, but people want dark hair, 6'3", and 170. I'm a red head, 6' and 200 or so. I gave up on the dating sites a long time ago. eHarmony is a joke. The main backer of that site is one of Bushes super-rangers (a huge contributor). Match.com is just a meat market. Trust me you will meet more quality individuals in unexpected places. Get involved in activities, shared hobbies, etc. If you meet someone that shares a major interest of yours, then you have half the battle won.

One last thing. I've learned to ignore the "super-cute-I-look-like-brittany" types. Waste of time. The best relationships I've had were and are with single moms.
 

whatireallywant

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I feel your pain (the most recent posters). I am by no means ugly, but people want dark hair, 6'3", and 170. I'm a red head, 6' and 200 or so. I gave up on the dating sites a long time ago. eHarmony is a joke. The main backer of that site is one of Bushes super-rangers (a huge contributor). Match.com is just a meat market. Trust me you will meet more quality individuals in unexpected places. Get involved in activities, shared hobbies, etc. If you meet someone that shares a major interest of yours, then you have half the battle won.

One last thing. I've learned to ignore the "super-cute-I-look-like-brittany" types. Waste of time. The best relationships I've had were and are with single moms.

I have not had much luck on dating sites either. They all want a size 6 woman. Although there are sites for BBW's and men who like them. But I'm neither of these. I'm too fat for the Size 6 chasers and too skinny for the guys who are looking for a BBW. I also have kind of an "unusual" body type - not much in the way of curves.

I am in several groups that do a wide variety of social and athletic activities, and I'm having fun in those groups, but no one has expressed any interest in dating me. I will stay in the groups for the activities though - I'm enjoying that, at least.
 

Biggie77

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Whatireallywant, that is interesting because I never go for the extreme ends myself. I prefer a lady with some curves, but not overly curvy. But having said that, personality is the deal maker or breaker.

I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying the activities for the sack of the activities. I think the key is to get in situations were you can be yourself and the rest will fall in place at some point. It may take a while, but like you said, you are enjoying yourself.