Bare with me on this but heres my story and problem. I am currently in a relationship now that started out supposed to being a one night stand. That was almost six years ago we are currently living together with two children in a married state although I have not been able to ever set a date and make it legal. We love each other very much but our sex life is horrible. The problem I believe stems from her not liking penises of any sort. She is not a lesbian by any means she has just had really bad experiences with a man (step-dad) starting very young. So I do really feel for her. Now this becomes my problem. I was very shy growing up and not until college did I realize that I had something to be proud of . No, not a mammoth but a very respectable piece of equipment and my biggest turn-on became receiving positive comments on my tool from the woman that I shared it with. Now here I am in a relationship with a woman that not only has no appreciation for me in that way but also a relationship with a lack of intimacy of any kind. I think I could be happy in this monogamous relationship if she would have the same appreciation for my member as I do but it doesnt look that will happen so I fight daily with my conscious trying to rationalize having an outside relationship. To me the best part of sex is when I get the Oooh! Youre hung like a horse comments. I used to consider myself a very caring lover but find myself knowingly thrusting a little harder at times to elicit the ouches! Out of her. Which I know is horrible for the intimacy part of our situation but it helps me get off reminding myself what I have. I guess I am just looking for an outlet for my sexuality that wont hurt her or our relationship. If anyone has any insight or even in the same boat I would appreciate just knowing. I already feel superficial enough as it is so before anyone flames me for being a selfish jerk I will just admit to that already. Besides I cant imagine many here that arent at least a little bit proud of themselves. Now if youre not in the same boat as me. First of all thank your lucky stars, then secondly try to imagine what it would be like being a pro golfer and married to someone who hates to golf.