Some of us have "beer-can-thick" dicks, others are "hung like horses", and there may even be a few tree trunks or telephone poles out there. (Me? I'm Devil's Tower out in Wyoming, complete with the fluting... ...ok, just kidding- I'm hardly a circus peanut, minus the uh... fake texture.) Anyway, I recall a story a friend of mine relayed to me a while back. He was in the military and during basic training, he had to shower with roughly 120 other men. Now, anyone who's ever been through basic training knows that there's hardly anything sexual about ANYTHING for roughly eight weeks. (I think it's nine weeks now.) Somehow, you're too tired and too busy to have a sex drive. It follows logically that without a sex drive, you have no sexual "orientation"- everybody is equal for the duration. All that considered, the guy with the biggest dick STILL somehow gets noticed. Anyway, in this guy's case, the biggest dick in the shower room belonged to a black guy (no stereotype intended) and as the description was passed on to me, to quote: "It looked like he had a 4-D-cell Mag-Lite hanging between his legs." This amused me. We've all seen Mag-Lites, so we can all picture it. That kinda' makes it funny, in a way, don't'cha think? I also remember some other guy with whom I used to work who had a reputation for being a bit of a "skin hound"- that is to say he banged everybody's wife within about fifteen miles or something like that. There were never any hints about his dick size, and I have reason to believe it's average, but he did have a sort of macho "strut" that could make a person picture a pendulum from a grandfather's clock hanging between his legs while he walked- probably down to an inch above the ground- again, a somewhat comical image, especially if you picture it brass and highly polished, complete with a deep and dignified ticking noise. So, from my own experience, that's all I've got for now- a Mag-Lite and a pendulum. I'm trying to imagine a bowling pin. I think someone in here claimed to have a fire hydrant between his legs not too long ago. (I'm thinking, "Cool! Cast iron. You can stick magnets to it." Anyone else ever seen or heard of any penises described as resembling or reminding one of any other funny objects?