unnecesarily insecure? what to do?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by zombyalive, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. zombyalive

    zombyalive Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2009
    Messages:
    116
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    but i'm having a small issue secretly, with my girlfriend. she doesn't know yet, but i am bothered by the idea of her having had sex with a possibly endowed ex. she had made a couple small remarks in the past, before we started dating, really subtle like i might not get it (either the product of my attraction to big dick solely, or the honest hints of a history). i've also heard through friends of friends that one particular guy she "might have dated" was known as "8 and thick". don't ask how this came up, i just happened to be around old drunk high school friends bullshiting around a keg. we run into the guy from time to time too, despite living in a big city, it seems we don't get too far from him if we go out to a big party. because of this, it's comes to mind more than i'd like it to. Because of the frequency we see him, I wonder sometimes if it's not orchestrated... i've hinted at none of this, I keep cool and reassure myself if I can't just distract with something else.

    she is short and very proportionate, and from the sex we have had, obviously likes it thick and deep and hard. This can be a huge turn on, but it's also a source of insecurity when I remember what I had heard in the past about him and old friends' encounters with him. Back in high school, I never thought it would come back to bite me in the ass, but i've just about fucked myself with every inch of his dick for listening to the stories. Unfortunately, he dated lots of girls I knew at my school, so I got to hear about it. Also, having been with a couple large men myself, feel especially inadequate for it. I'm a little over 7 inch 5 around.

    I don't know what to do. Tell her about this? Ask her if it's true? Do I want to know? Do I just ignore it? I am really attracted to her, but feel like talking about this in particular is emasculating somehow.

    tl;dr ??
     
  2. Rubenesque

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,708
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Just get over it.. no matter who you date or what you hear there's a possibility she'll have had bigger, better, longer lasting, more considerate, more intelligent, more funny etc etc etc. The perfect guy who has all of the above doesn't exist.

    If she's with you it means she likes you, if she's fucking you it means she wants to fuck you. What's gone before shouldn't matter. Just enjoy the moment and have fun!
     
  3. Reese

    Reese New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glastonbury, UK
    I would definitely tell her how you feel, good communication being the cornerstone of a secure relationship and her keeping secrets from you is a sure-fire way to destroy any remaining thread of trust you have in her.

    My wife enjoys fucking other men, but we only do this as a shared activity (after much discussion on the topic). Although things got a bit tenuous toward the beginning of our relationship with secrecy issues and such, we're more secure than ever now as a married couple who fucks around (which is great for me, as I enjoy sucking cock even more than she does!).

    If it were me, I wouldn't want my girlfriend fucking anyone behind my back and would want to know a bloke before he got his rocks off with her. Is difficult that this is happening with an old flame in your case, as there's no way of knowing what emotional baggage is involved (i.e. could be more than just a casual fuck-buddy thing).

    Again, the only real solution I can see is having a good heart-to-heart talk with her.

    Best of Luck,
    ~Reese! :~)
     
  4. zombyalive

    zombyalive Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2009
    Messages:
    116
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    yeah, i get the feeling i should.

    but, just like the saying "what you don't know doesn't hurt you" goes, the opposite is equally true. i can't revert my knowledge. i mean, don't get me wrong, i have qualities that matter more in different ways, and i am aware of this. i've been with a fair amount of very attractive, smart, sexual, and open people. but this is sex, of which between me and her there has been the presence of physical dominance. but our sex seems shadowed by this guys dick, and she's didn't even have to mention it. more girls have been vocal about him than any girl has been about me, or anyone for i know for that matter.

    theres no point in arguing my position though, it's pretty futile not to get around it somehow. i know this too. but i'm sure it happens a lot, so i thought i'd toss it out on the board. and honestly, i obviously haven't gotten around it. i'm not sure how to.

    at its worst, it comes down to, she possibly slept with this guy for months right after high school until he broke up with his girlfriend to "be with her." then instead, he started dating an acquaintance of mine from my school. and apparently she slept with him more after this.

    wow, not to whine. ahhaha, it's not this big a deal in reality, but i needed to vent.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted