Unparalleled Truths About Gay Men

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Lex, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. Lex

    Lex
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    (from an email I received)

    1. First and foremost, men are sexual beings. Accept it. Everything we do, everything we say is simply a means to the end of sex. It doesn't make us bad, it just makes us men.

    2. There is no such thing as gay slut. See Truth # 1. Don't think you're above hooking up just for sex. Don't claim to be. Don't claim to hook up "rarely." While you may fool 90% of the guys into believing you, the remaining 10% of us just think you're an ass.

    3. Horniness in gay men is dangerous (and frequent). When horny, gay men will hook up with just about anyone. We've all done it, so don't deny this either.

    4. Gay men aren't horny as often as they claim. Horniness seems to be associated with self-worth and manliness (2nd only to dick size). So, just as gay men lie about their size, they also like about their state of arousal. Moreover, gay men confuse horniness with loneliness. Often, gay men just need companionship, and the only way they can get it is through sex. Unfortunately, after the sex..the companionship is gone, the loneliness returns, and feelings of emptiness remain. This ultimately leads to the need for the next trick...and promiscuity.

    5. Most gay men have self-esteem issues. Don't believe me? Pay attention. Why else do we hook up so frequently, and brag about it? Why ! else do 40 yo's pursue 20 yo's? Why else do overweight guys pursue gym built guys? Its so they can say "I must be worth something if he wanted me." Something else to think about: Why do gay men spend so much money on appearance (clothes, personal care, tanning, etc.) and trying to look so much younger than they are?

    6. All gay men consider themselves masculine.

    7. All gay men consider themselves goodlooking.

    8. Those gay men that actually are masculine and goodlooking (and hung) know they are, and have egos bigger than their dicks. However, this "cockiness" is not a detriment in gay society. See Truth # 13.

    9. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is annoying.

    10. Those guys that are good looking don't need to both post a pic and put GL in their bioline. The viewer can make that determination based on the pic. ! The redundancy is perceived as an attempt to convince yourself that you look good. See also Truth # 2.

    11. Few men are Abercrombie models. Yet, most men think they are, or think they deserve one.

    12. If you're not an Abercrombie model, and try to hook up with one, be prepared for rejection. Similarly, if you don't limit your pursuit to guys in your own league, be prepared to be ignored. The fact is....LOOKS matter. Physical attraction is important, whether its for a hookup or a relationship. Deny it? You're lieing about it.

    13. If you're hung, odds are you can have 60% of the guys in here regardless of your looks and personality. If you're GL and hung, you can probably have 90% of the guys in here. The remaining 5% require you to lose you're arrogance before you get anywhere with us. (Yes, that is only 95%. So what happened to the last 5%?! They are are the freaking weirdos that are so desparate they'll hook up with anyone. When you get to that level of pathetic, you simply don't count.)

    14. All gay men claim to be discreet. Hence, all gay men lie. If you "kiss", expect it to be in the next edition of your local "gay news." Gay men love to brag about their conquests. It boosts their otherwise weak egos. See Truth #2. But don't fret, b/c when talking with a gay man, no guy was ever hotter than the guy they were with last night.

    15. You can be assured your most recent trick will mention you to at least 3 people: their best friend, their biggest threat/competitor for tricks, and the person they fantasize you having a 3way with.

    16. There is no such thing as a straight guy who likes cock. If you claim to be, I laugh in your face. If you claim to do one regularly, HE laughs behind your back!

    17. If you have EVER taken more than 8", you are NOT a TOP.

    18. You are not a "boy" or a "boi" when you're over 30 years old. In fact, you're probably not one after 25 years old. However, if you claim to be or call yourself one when you're this old, the rest of us take it to mean you're immature and fixated on being something you're not. GROW UP!

    19. Masculine? Flamer? Gymrat? Troll? None of these things make you better or worse than anyone else, so be respectful. Unless, of course, you're hung. Then you can treat people like shit and they still want you. See Truth #13.

    20. Gay? Bi? Straight (hahaha!)? Don't think being bi or straight (again...hahaha!) puts you in the upper echelon of sexual coolness.

    21. TRUE love is a rarity among gay men. True love is! giving and selfless and enduring. True love is not about "me" but about "us." Gay men have difficulty with this for various reasons, but one of them is Truth #2. My advice: look in the mirror, b/c you have to accept and love yourself before you can accept and love others.

    20. Gay men are polygamous. See Truth #1. There are several reasons for this. First, gay men are rarely satisfied with whom they are with: they always think they deserve hotter, younger, more hung, whatever. This is one reason why gay men so often feel lonely. They also desire what they can't have...the proverbial forbidden fruit. However, once they get it, the novelty soon wears off and they move on to the next trick.

    21. No gay man, in a relationship or otherwise, is above temptation. See Truth #20. It is only a matter of time til they give in. ! Also, different gay men have different levels of resistance. For some, merely chatting with guys online proves to be too much temptation. Yet, others are able to actually meet and hang out with other gay guys and not be tempted. But make no mistake about it, all gay men can be seduced under the right circumstances.

    22. "Why are there no studs in Erie?" "Where are all the dateable guys in Erie?" The fact is, the grass is not always greener. The problem is not with Erie, its with you. Guys in Pgh ask this about Pgh guys. Guys in Philly ask this about Philly guys. Etc. But the real answer to these questions lay within yourself. Hence, see Truths ##2 and 11.

    23. Complain about living in Erie? Nothing to do here? No good people here? Guess what. A place is what you make of it. So shut up and do something about it already.

    24. For 99% of gay men, there is no such thing as too big.

    25. If you're not loose to begin with, you don't need big.

    26. Gay men are promiscuous. See Truths ##20 and 21. So, its pretty safe to assume that any given gay guy in your town has fucked around with any other gay guy in your town.

    27. You see a guy at the bar/club. He looks masculine. He moves in a masculine way. Ya, he's hot. He comes over to talk to you. He has a lisp, guaranteed.

    28. All gay men have issues, whether its with their sexuality, their self-esteem, their age, or the perpetual doubt over whether their shoes match their outfits. Again, don't think this truth applies to you? You're in denial.

    29. Whether seeing another man on the street, on TV, or just conversing with him on the phone, all gay men at least wonder "how hung is he?"

    30. Don't think these truths apply to you? Then surely, you are in Denial!
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Oh, bruddah.
     
  3. GoneA

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    hehehe ....

    This is when I first knew I wasn't 100% straight :tongue:
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
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    So, it WASN'T when we had that hot 69 session when you first joined the site?
     
  5. Ethyl

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    :biggrin1:

    I'll forward this to my friends.

    Should there be a #31? "If you're gay, you've probably read this already"?
     
  6. GoneA

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    Hard to say, if it's not sex with you, I simply don't remember it.
     
  7. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    And I thought Gay Males were different than Bi males, Straight males, Fems, Bottoms, Tops, Versatiles, Lesbians, Dykes, etc. We all carry some kind of baggage. Some just have a harder time hiding it. I am bi. Does that make me Gay Challenged or Hetro Challenged. I cannot recall how many males and females I have be promiscuous with. No not an unbelieveable number, just don't need to count. Don't care and won't hide it from either side I am in a relationship with. We are all just another form of animal. Some of us just like to participate a little more than others.
     
  8. madame_zora

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    I have to say, there wasn't much on that list that doesn't apply to straight men too, in my experience.
     
  9. GoneA

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    ... except of course for the one about the 'shoes matching the outfit'. :biggrin1:
     
  10. Spoogesicle

    Spoogesicle New Member

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    Based on the list provided, I'm apparently not as gay as I thought.
     
  11. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    In Denial ^:biggrin1:
     
  12. Bryan_Lyte2

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    There's no hope (runs around the house screaming).:cool:
     
  13. cruztbone

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    Lex, your need to be well-intentioned here only helps perpetuate gay mythology that is both self-destructive and ridiculous. To correct 4 glaring errors , for starters:

    1. Many gay men are monogamous; there is a booming matchmaking partnership in SF based on gay male monogamy.I know the man who is the founder. He is monogamous with his partner and a wonderful friend to me.

    2. many handsome gay men are masculine and do not speak with a lisp. I include myself here.

    3. using a term such as gymrat (which I apply to myself) is not done to make me feel superior or better than anyone here. The gym is a favorite place to go, used to identify an important regimen in my life. period.

    4. Gay men that i know do not self-describe using the word "boi" or "boy".



    in brief, you need to get out more. Visit other places. Get to know gay men who dont live in gay ghettos, for example, such as myself.
     
  14. dcwrestlefan

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    lex, yer so lucky to have an email pal that knows everything. :wink:
     
  15. Lex

    Lex
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    This list is a joke (from an email). And meant as tongue in cheek.
     
  16. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    If there were no gay men (or women) there would be no entertainment.
    Just brutal boxing.:smile:
     
  17. DC_DEEP

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    LOL very good, Lex. You know, I was never issued my gay card (I hate shopping and have never ever once in my life bought a piece of "designer-label" clothing). I don't care for disco or "gay-diva" music, nor for most musical theater, so I've often had queens threaten to revoke my gay card... but the laughs on them, I never had one! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
     
  18. D_Prideaux Brayenass

    D_Prideaux Brayenass <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    The list is total truth. I cant disagree with any of it.
     
  19. COMA

    COMA New Member

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    LOL it's pretty cool, had a lot of fun reading it :):biggrin1:
     
  20. Matthew

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    *sigh*

    That list just depresses me.
     
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