Unprotected Sex
- Thread starter jeepwranglerboi
- Start date
Mad Danny:
The problem is, I want that stage to come early on in the proceedings, but I just have to be sensible ....
Therein lies the problem ... some guys hardly notice the difference in feeling between barebacking and fucking with a condom. Some of us definitely do notice it! I find sex with a condom very frustrating and don't enjoy it nearly as much. That doesn't mean that I am unaware of the risks, though. I think that, for me, the answer is to stick to one partner, and for us both to be sure we want to move on to sex without condoms once the relationship is clearly a "long-term" one.
The problem is, I want that stage to come early on in the proceedings, but I just have to be sensible ....
I believe the incidents of younger gay men getting infected with HIV is increasing too (especially in Australia). I find that they're the ones that seem to be taking more risks.
My boyfriend and I tested for HIV and also a range of STDs and came up clear, so we decided to have au naturelle sex, without using a 'dom. We're monogomous and don't have sex outside the relationship, so feel priviliged to be able to do away with them.
Lots of young people think they are invincible and nothing can harm them. When bs-ing with my buds late nights in the dorms, when the subject gets around to AIDS (not very often mind you) some of my buds have even thought the drug cocktails that exist mean that a cure exists...which it doesn't.
One bud said he felt it was a badge of honor (to him anyway) if he slept with a girl and shot off his load inside her sans rubber. The rare times in my life I was in what I thought was a committed relationship and the girl was on the pill I've done it without a rubber also and won't argue with the idea it feels better, but you've gotta look out for yourself at some point. My dad has repeated some saying to me that goes something like "God gave you two brains son and only enough blood to think with one at a time, make sure you get the order you're supposed to use them in right".
One bud said he felt it was a badge of honor (to him anyway) if he slept with a girl and shot off his load inside her sans rubber. The rare times in my life I was in what I thought was a committed relationship and the girl was on the pill I've done it without a rubber also and won't argue with the idea it feels better, but you've gotta look out for yourself at some point. My dad has repeated some saying to me that goes something like "God gave you two brains son and only enough blood to think with one at a time, make sure you get the order you're supposed to use them in right".
This reminded of something that happened to me a couple years back. I was performing in an AIDS benefit and one of the committee members was interested in me so I went back to his place after the event. We were getting hot and heavy and he asked if he could fuck me and I was more than happy to oblige. Well, after applying the lube and he goes to put it in and I noticed that he wasn't wearing a condom. I immediately put my feet on his chest and pushed him on his back on the bed. I told him that he had to wear a condom and he insisted that he was clean and that he didn't need one. I don't know what hit me but I completely went off. I started yelling at him as I walked around the bedroom grabbing my clothes. I told him that I couldn't believe that he, a committee member for a large AIDS benefit would insist on not wearing a condom during sex. We had just raised thousands of dollars for AIDS and this man was telling me that unprotected sex was okay. I told him that he had better wake up and smell the cappuccino. I then walked out the front door and never looked back. That attitude just baffles me.
Yeah, considering you guys just came from a benefit for an AIDS cause I can understand why things got that far without discussing condoms. I'm not at all surprised by your reaction either. Just shows that you can't assume a guy has any sense, so you gotta protect yourself. A world without JWB would be a much duller place.
Love the new avitar- just too small on a regular monitor!
Good for you, Jeep.
I have also had unprotected sex, in a monogomous relationship.
I'm one of the few truly versatile gay guys i've known...i love being
a top *and* a bottom, and.
I've barebacked both ways.
But again, this was with someone that i was in a committed, longterm partnership with.
I found out my ex bf was cheating because i got an STD.
It cleared up with a round of antibiotics, but ..never again
without a condom.
OK, it feels good...a million times better...
I can understand someone not caring about their own life, but be a decent
human being and care about the person you are fucking.
If you want to harm yourself, harm *only* yourself.
I have also had unprotected sex, in a monogomous relationship.
I'm one of the few truly versatile gay guys i've known...i love being
a top *and* a bottom, and.
I've barebacked both ways.
But again, this was with someone that i was in a committed, longterm partnership with.
I found out my ex bf was cheating because i got an STD.
It cleared up with a round of antibiotics, but ..never again
without a condom.
OK, it feels good...a million times better...
I can understand someone not caring about their own life, but be a decent
human being and care about the person you are fucking.
If you want to harm yourself, harm *only* yourself.
Well you can either say that young people today think they're invincible/immune etc and that might be true in some cases. I also know however that most people don't KNOW fully what can and does happen. Education is what's needed and maybe better parenting, after all learning starts in the home right?
madame_zora
Sexy Member
One of my clients has been living with AIDS for a few years. He didn't expect to catch it. He didn't wear a condom. He just needed to get a little more love from someone that wasn't his man, and some part of him inside can probably never forgive that moment of promiscuity.
And he's a damn good guy trying to give back to the community, speaking up about his illness, and trying to educate a growing number of deafened ears. Super-resistant HIV. Global epidemic. Wrap it up every time. EVERY time. It only takes one slip. No need for drug cocktails. We can be buff and wonderful and pretty and proud and it'll all work out okay.
He told me a sad story about making his rotations through the city's HIV/AIDS support groups -- the sad tale of men doing all but dropping their trousers and shaking their asses, preening, begging for a little contact. "It's okay," a resigned-to-death smile, "it's already too late for me. Gimme all you got. Whatever you want." I beg you. Please.
And that's really sad -- a disease with such intense and unforgiving mortality, ultimately an act of desperation, a longing to just feel love any sick and dirty way it can be brought.
Tragic, isn't it?
That's a reality... either you're on the invisible side of the AIDS barrier and can go tripping off of your own light fantastic, or you're in this desperate, dark world, far away from those visions of pearly-white teeth and beautiful bodies and smiling men who say that all they need is their one injection a day (SUSTIVA! sustains me!
.
It's cold, and it's very scary.
And he's a damn good guy trying to give back to the community, speaking up about his illness, and trying to educate a growing number of deafened ears. Super-resistant HIV. Global epidemic. Wrap it up every time. EVERY time. It only takes one slip. No need for drug cocktails. We can be buff and wonderful and pretty and proud and it'll all work out okay.
He told me a sad story about making his rotations through the city's HIV/AIDS support groups -- the sad tale of men doing all but dropping their trousers and shaking their asses, preening, begging for a little contact. "It's okay," a resigned-to-death smile, "it's already too late for me. Gimme all you got. Whatever you want." I beg you. Please.
And that's really sad -- a disease with such intense and unforgiving mortality, ultimately an act of desperation, a longing to just feel love any sick and dirty way it can be brought.
Tragic, isn't it?
That's a reality... either you're on the invisible side of the AIDS barrier and can go tripping off of your own light fantastic, or you're in this desperate, dark world, far away from those visions of pearly-white teeth and beautiful bodies and smiling men who say that all they need is their one injection a day (SUSTIVA! sustains me!
. It's cold, and it's very scary.
dcwrestlefan
Sexy Member
Good for you Jeep.
I've had to turn down a few too. Stupidly I've allowed myself to be talked into a few times as a top, but luckily I'm still negative, and I'll never consider it again.
[post=293269]Quoted post[/post]
[/b][/quote]Applause also Jeep.
This guy has alot of balls (in a bad way) to think he can go around sticking his uncovered wingwah wherever he wants because he said he is negative (but do we REALLY know). And what a hypocrite, considering that he is supposedly doing good things for PWAs. Practice what you preach bubba.
- jonb,
@Jeep:
j00 r0xx0r!!!!11!1 Having unprotected sex just after an AIDS benefit? Oh, the irony . . . You can avoid AIDS while foregoing condoms if you're both faithful, but I'm pretty sure he'd been having sex with more acts than just you.
@Dee:
That's how it is. The entire epidemic is two-faced. On the one hand, we have shiny happy people who can afford this medication; they don't have sex as often (and if they do they should be charged with murder), but otherwise, they're perfectly healthy. On the other, you've got such suffering. People wasted away to almost nothingness, people so desperate for affection they'll sleep with anyone, and so many diseases you can't help but wonder if medical science has yet discovered them. Don't like it? Sorry, but you'll be seeing it for the next ten years, at which time death will finally show some mercy and end your painful existence.
Makes any loss of pleasure from wearing condoms trivial by comparison.
j00 r0xx0r!!!!11!1 Having unprotected sex just after an AIDS benefit? Oh, the irony . . . You can avoid AIDS while foregoing condoms if you're both faithful, but I'm pretty sure he'd been having sex with more acts than just you.
@Dee:
That's how it is. The entire epidemic is two-faced. On the one hand, we have shiny happy people who can afford this medication; they don't have sex as often (and if they do they should be charged with murder), but otherwise, they're perfectly healthy. On the other, you've got such suffering. People wasted away to almost nothingness, people so desperate for affection they'll sleep with anyone, and so many diseases you can't help but wonder if medical science has yet discovered them. Don't like it? Sorry, but you'll be seeing it for the next ten years, at which time death will finally show some mercy and end your painful existence.
Makes any loss of pleasure from wearing condoms trivial by comparison.
InsertHere
Experimental Member
And how many people are you spreading those diseases to without them knowing? How often do you get tested?
And how many people are you spreading those diseases to without them knowing? How often do you get tested?
[post=293416]Quoted post[/post]
[/b][/quote]usually, once a month. I'm not spreading anything; if I was infected I wouldn't be having sex. it's been years since I've picked up anything that I haven't been able to get rid off with a couple of weeks of antibiotics or less, and the worst thing I've picked up in the past year or so was a yeast infection. I know it's very hip in our ultra-neurotic society to pretend that terminal diseases are shadowing your every move and just waiting for half a chance to jump you, but my experience is that you're better off worrying about whether a prospective partner will steal your wallet than whether they have undiagnosed HIV.
Dr Rock,
I hate to rain on your parade, but did you know HIV can incubate in your system for 6 months before it shows up in a blood test?
Never mind, I don't hate to rain on the parade.
From a CDC "plain language paper"
Because early HIV infection often causes no symptoms, a doctor or other health care provider usually can diagnose it by testing a person's blood for the presence of antibodies (disease-fighting proteins) to HIV. HIV antibodies generally do not reach detectable levels in the blood for one to three months following infection. It may take the antibodies as long as six months to be produced in quantities large enough to show up in standard blood tests.
People exposed to the virus should get an HIV test as soon as they are likely to develop antibodies to the virus - within 6 weeks to 12 months after possible exposure to the virus. By getting tested early, people with HIV infection can discuss with a health care provider when they should start treatment to help their immune systems combat HIV and help prevent the emergence of certain opportunistic infections (see section on treatment below). Early testing also alerts HIV-infected people to avoid high-risk behaviors that could spread the virus to others.
There can be a lot of partners in those intervening months between exposure and it showing up in a blood test.
I hate to rain on your parade, but did you know HIV can incubate in your system for 6 months before it shows up in a blood test?
Never mind, I don't hate to rain on the parade.
From a CDC "plain language paper"
Because early HIV infection often causes no symptoms, a doctor or other health care provider usually can diagnose it by testing a person's blood for the presence of antibodies (disease-fighting proteins) to HIV. HIV antibodies generally do not reach detectable levels in the blood for one to three months following infection. It may take the antibodies as long as six months to be produced in quantities large enough to show up in standard blood tests.
People exposed to the virus should get an HIV test as soon as they are likely to develop antibodies to the virus - within 6 weeks to 12 months after possible exposure to the virus. By getting tested early, people with HIV infection can discuss with a health care provider when they should start treatment to help their immune systems combat HIV and help prevent the emergence of certain opportunistic infections (see section on treatment below). Early testing also alerts HIV-infected people to avoid high-risk behaviors that could spread the virus to others.
There can be a lot of partners in those intervening months between exposure and it showing up in a blood test.
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Kyle-
Kudos to you for standing up for your beliefs. It takes a lot of balls to do what you did, but you're better off for it and hopefully that guy now thinks everytime he's with someone else.
I know of a woman here who got infected with HIV the first time she had sex. It was the night she got engaged. She was a virgin--a very strong Christian, from an evangelical church background--and the one time she slipped up, because she decided it was going to be ok to have sex with her new fiance', he infected her with the virus. He is now dead, but he was a NASCAR driver, and was known to be a "playa" but had gotten religion and cleaned up his life. However, he didn't know that he had been infected earlier on. They had unprotected sex and now she lives with the virus. She's had major health battles because of it, but she goes out and talks on the subject and has written a book about her life and what it's been like. She's now married to a former TV star and they live a fairly normal life, but they don't know what tomorrow will hold.
It only takes one time. It's not worth the risk. Rubbers aren't made for people in our size range, unless you get those custom ones, and you can't just buy them off the shelf, but I would rather be uncomfortable and live than have a few minutes of pleasure and die for it.
Kudos to you for standing up for your beliefs. It takes a lot of balls to do what you did, but you're better off for it and hopefully that guy now thinks everytime he's with someone else.
I know of a woman here who got infected with HIV the first time she had sex. It was the night she got engaged. She was a virgin--a very strong Christian, from an evangelical church background--and the one time she slipped up, because she decided it was going to be ok to have sex with her new fiance', he infected her with the virus. He is now dead, but he was a NASCAR driver, and was known to be a "playa" but had gotten religion and cleaned up his life. However, he didn't know that he had been infected earlier on. They had unprotected sex and now she lives with the virus. She's had major health battles because of it, but she goes out and talks on the subject and has written a book about her life and what it's been like. She's now married to a former TV star and they live a fairly normal life, but they don't know what tomorrow will hold.
It only takes one time. It's not worth the risk. Rubbers aren't made for people in our size range, unless you get those custom ones, and you can't just buy them off the shelf, but I would rather be uncomfortable and live than have a few minutes of pleasure and die for it.
