Unrealistic Expectations?

[Fardunda]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for all the advice, much apprecated.

Irox19 - yep makes complete sense. Perhaps I was being a little crude and superficial. I think it is just a reaction to this happening regularly and the fact the I am desperate for my mind to snap out of it. I do genuinly like this girl and wouldn't be so crass to only expect one thing from her.

Hung John - that makes complete sense thanks. It really is a comfortability issue with me and I know this will help.

Perhaps to provide a little more context and to touch on why it might be happening, I came out of a 6 year relationship at the end of last year to a girl I loved dearly. It took me a long while to get my shit together and every girl I have been with since I felt ok to start dating again this issue has occured. I know that it is mostly because things are new and unknown and also exciting, but I can't deny that there is still at the back of my mind the thought of my ex.

Anyway, I just had a great weekend with this lass. Spent time getting more comfotable with each other. After discussing things a little further we realised being comfotable is an issue for both of us. But by the end of the weekend my mind and friend downstairs were working in synch (finally!!) and my new girl was very happy to assist manually without me even having to ask. 'tis all about being comfotable.

So looks like the monkey is finally off my back. Thanks again for the ears and the words!

 

[rrambo]

I've always had performance anxiety at the worst times... as in, everytime I've had sex with someone new, I've been so nervous that I either can't get it up, or it's just semi-hard... when I'm with someone who I've been with before, almost never have the problem... I think my problem was the worst, because the first time with someone new is when you really want to impress them...

 

[B_Big_and_Proud]

Woow,Totaly get u, i had this girlfriend,she didnt realy was into Sex, meaning to say, Sex for her was not a big deal, she didnt like to give head, maybe she had done it once or twice just to satisfy me,. but yeah, everyone is diffrent, still now she with her new man,she tells me,she's not really into it, altho when we was together, a lil forplay help the issue alot, once it get a lil thingly here and there, we good to go/